He wants to wait for sex?

[Anonymous]

We are both in our late 20s... I expected that we will do it on the 3rd date but he said he needed more time and maybe next time, which was fine so I said it is okay. It has been 6 weeks and still nothing and he still insists on needing more time, and saying maybe next time. I talked to him about and he said that he is stressed and wants to be on a 100% when we do it first as he is too fatigued.. Thing is he is very affectionate, he foreplays and he is always hard - yet nothing, always avoids the actual act. Everything else is awesome and If I am sure we are sexually compatible I am convinced he could be the one.. The only thing is that sex is extremely important to me as this is how I express my feelings and I am getting frustrated with the constant rejection, especially knowing that he has never waited that long in previous relationships. I spoke to him about it and he said just a little more and that was two weeks ago. I dont want to get attached and invest too much time if we are not compatible. And I am not sure I believe his reasons if I am honest - I am starting to think he just isn't a sexual person and sex is not important to him, which is a deal breaker to me.. Any advice should I wait, should I end it, should I put myself a deadlines of ending it if it doesn't happen by the 3rd month mark? Any thoughts on this from the guys? Is he bulshitting me and having other issue he is afraid to talk about?

[1Sophisticatedme]

Hey. Here's may be some questions for you... is he working like stupid hours for example 11pm to 11am? Does he do drugs, or drinks a lot? Does he have any kids from previous relationships and pays child support 🤔, is there major issues going on in his family, Does he go out a lot without you and only sees you whenever he wants to see you only, is he financial stable if not is he working extra time,... there's different things that can cause a relationship to be stressed out, and if you think about it, anxiety and depression can cause big issues and hard to tell the person who you're with thats the issue... but also sometimes when you are naked, and the guy gets a boner while being with you is not saying let's do it baby... its a guy thing, all will get it as soon as they see any cleavage that would make them horny, sometimes the guy has done it already with someone else and then they jump to their other partner that the interest is there and to make you happy he just does the touching and stops as soon as he gets to the point that stresses him that he wishes to be with the other person- so is he cheating on you? Does he have HIV or other diseases that he isn't saying bc he is afraid... whatever reasons he has, its a stressful issue for him, and he gets even tiredness when you keep pushing the issue about sex. I do hope you both figure out what has him stress out , but mental illness with this pandemic is rising bc its not normal now a days and its hard on everyone and being in a relationship can effect someone's quality life, depending how active you been prior to the covid-19. Good luck to you both.

[Asker]

I agree and I wouldn't have had an issue with should this have been a long-term relationship but it it not - it is the beginning where I judge weather he is worth my time investment.. IT is new relationship we have not HAD SEX AT ALL - like never not even once for the two months dating.. Please read the description.. And his lovely personality is just not enough after few weeks to lock me down for a relationship with no sex. Sex is the second more important thing to me but obviously not him so clearly we are not compatible.. I am aware pushing is not helping but the very fact i NEED TO PUSH for someone to want to have sex with me is a deal breaker.. if he has no issue receiving blowjobs from me then sorry his stress excuse just doesn't cut it.. I am out.

[1Sophisticatedme]

congratulations, you just answer your own question, you are out... good for you.

[1Sophisticatedme]

thank you so much for the superb opinion 😊

[Dragonstarterplus]

XD hilarious, everyone is telling you he may be gay and you need to exit this relationship, but we know for a fact if you were a guy and he was a girl the responses would be the exact opposite telling you stuff like "If you loved her you would wait" and "respect her wishes." I mean just imagine the uproar that would happen if a guy said he's going to put a deadline on when the sex will happen or he's out XD

Hypocrisy at its very finest

[Asker]

I agree with you but your response is fucking useless to me at this point... Considering that I have spoken to him about it and the excuse was rather stupid.. If he said straight up I need to feel emotionally closer etc yes.. but I am tired? wtf

[Happiehippiex]

True

[Dragonstarterplus]

My advice is the same as if the roles were reversed. Considering you said this person never waited this long previously, it seems to indicate 1) they just don't really enjoy sex or find it that important, 2) don't want yo have sex with you, 3) playing games with their sex to see hoe many hoops they can get you to jump through. If things don't change soon i would suggest finding a new partner who actually wants to have sex with you

[Berethor]

Maybe he is a girl in disguise? foreplay but no sex? wow that's lame, very lame.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsAlwaysEager

[Warmapplecrumble]

Just end it 😕

[Dargil]

Do him and yourself a favor.

[0112358]

What's included in ' he foreplays ' ?

[Asker]

kissing, touching, getting nacked, fingers, oral.. orgasms from his side...- everything initiated by him.. I told him I get frustrated when he starts and doesn't get to the point so he has stopped doing that and is all just kissing and touching atm..

[goaded]

Maybe he's waiting until he's finished a course of antibiotics?

[reptocarl2]

Might be a closet queen

[Asker]

he is not - he gets a bones as soon as he sees me

[reptocarl2]

Maybe he’s a virgin

[Asker]

we already had this conversation he is not virgin read the description

[reptocarl2]

He might be a virgin. Have you asked him and reassured him it’s nothing to be ashamed of? If he’s not gay I think he’s a virgin

[reptocarl2]

How do you know he’s had sex in previous relationships?

[Asker]

i have asked him/ reassured and he told me.. that's not the issue

[reptocarl2]

I don’t know. I’m suspicious

[Asker]

so am I but I am gonna walk if he doesn't do anything anyway so it is in his inetrest to be honest.. the i am tired and stressed excuse to me is bulshit and I suspect he is just no a sexual person

[reptocarl2]

That’s something not many his age would ever admit to

[reptocarl2]

Invite him over and then excuse yourself. Get naked and walk up to him and say “fuck me now” if he blows you off end it

[reptocarl2]

I can’t think of any straight guy that would turn that down

[Happiehippiex]

He’s asexual

[Asker]

he has seen me nacked and we have spend the night numerous times and have done everything but actual sex.. can you please stop with your useless responses now?

[Happiehippiex]

He has erectile dysfunction

[In_Trance]

what is he waiting for? What are you waiting for?

[Happiehippiex]

Asexual or he’s not attracted to you

[Asker]

would you get a boner if you are not sexually attracted to someone.. would you be affectionate to them.. don't think so..

[Ragnarook]

He just likes you too much and being nervous that it may not be perfect probably from lack of experience which is normal at that age

[reptocarl2]

Never stopped me

[Ragnarook]

@reptocarl2 depends on people not all are the same.

[reptocarl2]

Guys are with sex unless gay

[Ragnarook]

@reptocarl2 or unaware that they may suck at it and not satisfy the woman properly

[reptocarl2]

Bullshit. At that age they don’t care about any of that.

[Ragnarook]

@reptocarl2 maybe some don't you relate others to your experience and that is superficial. The guy seems pretty sensitive about it

[reptocarl2]

The kind of guy you’re describing is a limp dick mamas boy closet queen

[Ragnarook]

@reptocarl2 labels are no good just for persons who have a problem with their own ego.

[reptocarl2]

He’s a sissy boy

[Ragnarook]

@reptocarl2 I don't think it's important how he is or if you feel or not superior regarding him I do think that may be a possibility for his actions

[Asker]

This is along the lines of what he said.. I know I am more experienced than him and have still reassured him that it is not an issue and can be worked on - what I cannot work on is a man with no sex drive.. hence my damn confusion what should i do

[Ragnarook]

well sometimes when things don't work you look into another direction and that is that. A man usually craves for a woman no matter what wants a bite of her ass, to spank to feel to touch to have and so on. maybe he does want that deep inside too you could try to seduce him and bring it out.

[Asker]

i have tried as soon as it is time to get to it he gets soft.. obv he just doesn't want me and i am sick of feeling like shit over it

[Ragnarook]

Well then maybe you should end things... or maybe he has a errection problem through at that age he shouldn't for sure.

[Ragnarook]

In reality if you are really attracted to a girl especially in the begining of a relationship you do it 5-6 times a night a burning love is just natural.