How can I become more confident in the bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I’m someone who has been bullied most of my life and has a lot of self esteem issues. (I’m working on them and have come so far!) I also don’t have the most experience with guys. I’m dating this new, amazing guy and I want to feel more open and confident, especially in the bedroom. Every time we have sex, I keep my shirt on. He doesn’t try taking it off and I just leave it on. I’m a super horny person so I always want sex, but I’m shy and not very good at initiating it. I’m not fat but I’m definitely not skinny. I have a chunky belly and I feel like I have awkward boobs and a plump vag (which I hate 😭.) He tells me he thinks I’m beautiful but I still feel super insecure. But I want to break free of this feeling and be able to be confident and open with him. I want to be able to initiate sex. I know I have to work on it personally, but I was wondering if anyone has any tips or tricks that helped them be comfortable with their significant other?

[Berethor]

Well first give yourself some credit for being able to have sex with the guy despite all your insecurities, and you have a lot of them, even by girls standards, and also give yourself some credit for being a super horny girl despite all your insecurities. Technically you don't have to initiate sex, just make him know that you always available for sex, if you really are a super horny girl, unless you feel like he is not having enough sex with you and that's why you want to initiate, still the point is that as a girl almost no one expect to initiate, but guys tend to be more visual than girls, so he would likely want to see more of your body while he is having sex with you.

You can replace your shirt with lingerie, some girls wear lingerie because of insecurity about being fully naked in sex, and you would likely took seer with lingerie than with shirt, and/or alternative you can show him only one part of your body that you insecure about, and see his reaction, if he okay with your 'awkward boobs' and your 'chunky belly' then you don't need to hide them from him anymore, as for your 'plump vag', well he sure seem to like your 'plump vag', at least feeling-wise, otherwise why he keep having sex with you? also think about how it's quite silly that on one hand you are doing the most intimate action with that amazing guy but on the other hand you don't trust him to see all of you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Confidence usually develops with experience but you can speed the process along. By the "Berlitz" method. Obviously, you know that this guy is horny for you and wants you, right? So, tell yourself that you are just going to totally surrender and let him see your entire body all at once. The easiest way to do that is by taking a shower together, because you are close together and he really doesn't get to see all of you all at once. Ask him if he wants to take a shower together before you have sex. When you go into the bathroom, take charge by undressing him; at that point, you will probably see that his built-in "lie detector" is pointing straight out, indicating that he is telling the truth about being attracted to you. Then tell him that it is his turn to undress you. If it helps, close your eyes while he undresses you. Get in the shower and have fun washing each other. Don't try to have sex in the shower because water washes away your natural lubrication and it can also be a bit awkward. By the time you get in bed, you will both be supercharged and ready for some very hot sex. You will be surprised at how soon you relax about being totally naked with him and that will give you enough confidence to begin to explore other things, like cowgirl position.

It's just a suggestion but I think it would help.

[KilledByBees]

Practice, pratice, pratice. Self exploration will also really help.

[es20490446e]

If crocodiles can do it, you can too.

[AmeerX]

You should know in bed a girl is the one truly in control q

[In_Trance]

practice

[Shy_Steve]

Best way I think is to just get naked and focus on him and his body, That's what being intimate with someone is all about.

[male45]

It will come in time I was the same I was raped when I was 14

[bassinguy76]

You can be who ever you want to be on the bedroom. Take control

[Kamikaze00]

Stop fucking.

[Anonymous]

I think you'll get better with time, don't worry. As for myself, I used to be pretty inept at it when I got started.
PS : Watching porn might help... specially well-crafted porn, couples-porn or porn-for-women.

[Anonymous]

As long as you continue to treat sex as something casual, you are likely to feel this way. Ultimately, you are sharing the most intimate act two people can do... with someone you barely know, or do not know that well. if you were with someone that knew you inside out, accepted you, and vice versa, would you still be having this concern I wonder...

[Anonymous]

Just keep your shirt on and hide under blankets.