Thank you for posting this, I actually sort of needed to hear this. Before me, my ex dated someone who I was very familiar with, and befriended her friends, who were all very different people than me. They're party girls, who thrived on gossip and scandals, and they would talk about me in an unkind way because I was too "stuck up" (and by this they meant I didn't like to drink or party, and I was shy). So whenever my boyfriend talks about his past friendship with them, it makes me angry, like he's betraying me. So like you said, I'm trying to just keep reminding myself that him and his ex were very short lived for a reason, and to value all of the kind things he does for me now that shows he likes me just how I am. He doesn't owe me anything beyond that (like denouncing them).
@JoleenPeg - Yeah, no prob! Had to remind myself this because I really struggle with it! It can be very hard to see things this way in the moment, but (in my opinion) it's definitely good discipline for going about life in a way that would be mentally beneficial for us. Glad it could serve as a reminder to you as well! And for (specifically) people that have done me wrong, I try and force myself to show them compassion. Because their situation could have easily been mine if I was living their life and had their mind, body, and environment. But for instances like the one above where I don't see them as doing anything wrong, I stick to diminishing the importance of any impractical ( <pertaining to this situation) ideals. Because all it would be doing is causing harm since the scenario would be something out of my control.
Oh I misread the question. About mine? Why? I'd answer their questions. If they got mad, it is their problem not mine
so did you do wild things that would make anyone jealous?
That is none of your business.
Means you had your days lol.. he better not talk about it
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Also, in my specific case with her, we have excellent sexual compatibility, off the charts, so I don’t think either one of us is worried that they were getting it better somewhere else, lmao
Oh. Well, I wouldn't get mad or jealous. But she would probably still think of them and compare me to them. So, for that reason, I will only date a virgin.
Agreed. I have no problem listening to my boyfriend talking about sexual and romantic things that he did with his first two girlfriends. But the girl he dated before me was in my same social circle, and I don't think I'd be able to stomach hearing anything about their sex life.