We are sexually incompatible?

We’ve been together almost 5 years. I’ve accepted that we are sexually incompatible. I’m never ever satisfied and it leaves me feeling how I am now. Which is fucking craving sex. Just thinking about makes it hard to control myself. I feel awful. I love my boyfriend but the sexual incompatibility is so bad. I’ve spent so long convincing myself it’s not about sex and that sex in a relationship isn’t important but now I’m going insane.
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Superb Opinion

  • I know this is a hard pill to swallow but it's something I've had to learn myself. Personal satisfaction is actually YOUR responsibility during sex. You can't lie there and wait for him to do all the pleasing for you. If you're unhappy with the sex, either you don't know yourself well enough, you're afraid of communication or you simply don't like him enough. You say you love him but if you did you would do everything to make the sex better. You would tell him what you like in the bedroom and what he can do differently. Guys just can't know what us women want, and the gspot is actually hard to find for many. Also, when you're having sex, touch yourself and please yourself. He will like that a lot! Sex is work and to make it good you both have to practice. Everyone likes different things. If you're quiet and say nothing your boyfriend will think he is doing a good job and he will only keep doing what you're doing.

    That being said, if you still tell him and he does nothing (he is just selfish and cares little about your pleasure), that's the time to move on and find someone better.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok, so in a nutshell, you've got to figure out what his reaction to your dissatisfaction is. It's not so much, or just, about your differences, but rather how willing, if any, he is to adapt to what you need and want. I know, that's no small feat. But I'm just reminding you that attitude, mindset, is the key.

    Some people are at polar ends of what they want.
    But some people don't know what they're missing. They can be surprised at how much better the sex can be.

    So you need to find out which one he is.

    Others will say "it's all about communication" blah blah blah. But talking is just talking, unless you know exactly what words to say.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Have you guys talked about it? Whats his situation? Communication is so important! I hear you though. I feel the same way. Intmacy, love and sex is so important in a relationship. If that's you in that picture dressed like that he def has something wrong with him. You prob need to leave.

  • A couple can have good sex and still be unhappy. You can also have a look at the article below:

    https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/intimacy-without-intercourse

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I feel the same way about my wife. Thankfully we have an open relationship so that I can find the sexual satisfaction I need. I love her as a person and everything else. It was difficult to get use to the idea because society frowns so heavily on it but it’s also so superficial since so many people engage in it. If you love someone, then allow them to find the things they need to be happy.

  • Two primary reasons relationships do not last

    1) Money issues

    2) Sexual Incompatablility

    That is why I would never get into a committed relationship without being sure that was not an issue and in fact would want the opposite to be true.

  • You are sexually incompatible if he repeatedly isn't giving you what you need, and your constantly unsatisfied. Move on, find somebody else.

  • Well now you have acknowledged it. Just see and handle the situation according to your priorities. Decide.

  • you feel like this because when sex is all you crave then people have to sexually please you for you to be satisfied, i dont know what you mean by sexually incompatible, you can call it sexually incompatible and ill call it sexually unskilled

  • I got dumped from someone because I couldn't do certain sex positions. Being sexually incompatible sucks sometimes.

  • I think you should go your Separate Ways

  • I think you love sex more than your boyfriend

  • Get some sex toys for the bedroom. Let him know it’s a huge issue. Make him understand as it threatens the relationship. If he cums too soon get Stud100 off of Amazon. The relationship is most important sexual frustration is hard on the mind. Go to a sex councilor. Save your relationship.

  • You say you’ve accepted it but that doesn’t appear to be the case considering this question/post even exists.