Girl I'm seeing wants to have a threesome, with another guy, but I am not into the idea. What do you think and how should I handle this?

[Anonymous]

Recently I met a woman who I was finally able to fall for, and get over my ex. But there are a few big issues that have come up

We have been dating for about 4 months, and in that time we have had a lot of sex, and kinky sex as well. We are both very sexual, and I love it. But... she has mentioned in passing a few times that she would be interested in an open relationship, but that she wasn't sure. I told her everytime it has come up, that I would not be down for such a thing, and am looking to date one person seriously, and that I don't share my woman with other men, she is bi, I don't mind women.

She still isn't ready to be "official" but hasn't been dating anyone else, and neither have I. I have given her time to decide, but then about a week ago a topic came up. Where she joked about us having a threesome with another guy, but then turned into a real discussion. Not only does she want to have MMF threesomes like "2 a year maybe", and not only that but she wants me to DP her with another guy "most likely a big black guy with a huge dick". Im a white guy with an above average dick, but still. She is using my resistance to this as a reason she is unsure if we should make it official. Like this is something she needs in a partner. I told her I will never be cool with that, and she said she is sad, and cried a bit that night, but that she still wants to see me and needs time to think still. If this is something she really wants.

I am open, but she says she needs someone open minded. This is literally one of my only hang ups sexually. No other dudes period. I am willing to work with her, but not if it involved bringing other guys in. Maybe a one time thing, but she wants this regularly by the sounds of it.

My question. Do I give this woman the time she needs, while standing my ground. Or do I cut her loose to find someone else who can do this for her. She has been interested in FFM too, but admits she would also feel jealous.

[Lliam]

I'm like you. I could never deal with sharing my woman with another man. It would make me feel like I wasn't enough to satisfy her. Plus it would be risky, like she was using me as a friend with benefits while she looked for someone "better".

I don't get the feeling that this woman is ready for a life-long monogamous relationship at this point in her life. It seems like she is more into the experiential than love and commitment.

I like your the third option you described in your update.

Have you tried fucking one of her holes with a large, vibrating dildo while fucking her other hole? I mean, fill her UP! I don't know if that would satisfy her or not. You can get creative with other exciting, kinky stuff, but there's only so much a guy can do.

[RemiJ]

Hmmm, in my opinion, all of these things should have been discussed before the two of you had sex with each other. That right there would have told whether or not you guy would be compatible with each other when it comes to sex and threesomes and etc. If the open relationship was placed on the table in the beginning, you would get a feel as to what kind of relationship you might be getting into.

As far as her talking about the 3some, she seem adamant about having one but this is something that you don't want to do. I would just tell her that you do not feel comfortable with having a 3some. If she doesn't respect your feelings or opinions about this issue then I would part ways.

You mentioned that she would try FFM but she will get jealous. How would you feel about FFM? I would ask all questions because some people after 3some would try to have sex with other people solo.

[liburnia]

So, she would feel jealous in FFM, but you should be ok with MMF. She is some phoney, be careful

[AustinMan]

So just tell her that you are very concerned with no only the adverse reaction to having others involved but the potentially explosive negative backlash on the relationship.

How about you role play her fantasy?

[ImHere22]

Clearly, these are issues that are important for her. Positions on topics like a open relationship may change over time or they may not. Honestly it sounds like both of you want something a little bit different than what you've got going on. I would advise each of you to have an amicable and agreeable ending.

Personally, she's like someone I would try getting to know years ago when I was single and having a lot of sex and doing things I'd never done before. I'm also bi, but now in a long-term monogamous relationship and that works for me.
She may need something else that you can't provide, and she can't provide what you want. (Unless you know a guy who's packing a big dick- 'what a thoughtful gift! You found us a sexy man to join us in bed!'

[nolabels]

It sounds to me like that's a dealbreaker for you.
I'd say be true to yourself or you'll regret it, no matter how good other aspects of the relationship may be.

[JPrez]

Dude my spider sense is telling me this girl is bad news. I’d move on from her. Short term pain, long term gain.

[dutch69lover]

Cut her loose

[joeldalton]

You say to her "I do not support bringing other people into committed relationships. I'm not a cuckold and don't wish to be. I don't think this relationship will work out for me if that's your desire. Good luck to you in your future dating adventures"

[Twalli]

The reason I don't bring up threesomes is because if we have a FFM or FMF, I would feel like I would hat to agree to a MFM, and I won't. So I would let her go if you won't do a MFM and she requires it.

[OddBeMe]

Would she feel indebted to you after?

[Younghungguy17]

I would try to talk to her and tell her how it makes you feel and take it from there

[CubaPirate]

Get the fuck out before you get hurt

[Anonymous]

First, you write way too much, we don't need to hear it.

Second, if a girl wants a threesome with another guy after only 4 months, your relationship is in trouble.

[Anonymous]

No nope