Sexual Relationships
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Ghosted after sex - shall I text him?

I was dating a guy for two months or so. Long story short we went out together really got along and I really liked him. We really got along. We’d spend the whole night together all the time. Till like 6am in the morning talking. After a few dates I had sex with him and it was really good. I know he enjoyed it 100% and so did I but it’s really made me attached to him. After we had sex a few days later I asked him what he wants in general and he said he does not want a relationship and I said okay. I was upset though, he told me that he really sees a future with me before the sex. He ignored my text that I sent him, I wanted to see him last week so I said ‘do you wanna come over to mine tonight’ I really wanted to make him a dinner for example, not even sex this time and he just ignored me. Why is this? What did I do wrong? I also just went on Instagram and saw him posting just sex sex and sex. I feel really hurt it’s not a nice feeling right now.

I don’t want him to see me as some whore because that’s not what I am. I just felt it was right having sex with him since we were dating. I really wanna message him saying how I enjoy his company and want him to just give me a chance with the whole relationship thing because from what it seems like was that he never wanted one, he just hung out with me for sex. Now he’s posting photos of pictures he used to post for me. Is it a bad idea if I message him this? I mean have I got anything to lose. I’m really upset, it just. Hurts
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Superb Opinion

  • You shouldn't worry about how he sees you, because what matters is how you see yourself. You gave the relationship an honest go, and he just wasn't on board like you were. These things happen sometimes and I know it sucks. Do your best to remember that you're a good person and what happened with this relationship in no way reflects negatively on you.

    What he did by saying that he sees a future with you and then dropping you after sex was pretty bad. You mentioned that he's back posting nothing but sex online and he's using the same pictures that you thought were meant for you. I'd say things are over between you and him because judging by what you wrote, this guy clearly wasn't a good match for you.

    As for messaging him or not, I think it's fair to say that he knows you enjoyed his company. You invited him over and he ignored it. It sounds like you did all the right things and he still decided to not match your enthusiasm for anything outside of sex (after he got it.) If I were you, I would take this as a learning experience and understand that even though this guy wasn't for you in the end, you still did what you felt was right, and even though he took advantage of it, it's time to move on.

    Best wishes

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm gonna send along links to some of My Takes that I feel like may help. Do NOT reach out to him that way. Is there something he could come over to help you with. It doesn't have to be real. Hell, stage it. He'll invest by helping plus you'll get to see him. When he helps, be effusively appreciative.

    Does this help?

    Relationships and How They Work ↗

Most Helpful Girl

  • This guy straight up used you, and I’m entirely sorry to say that. Please don’t reach out. That’s like a typical scramble-mode effort to hang on when it’s already gone. You did nothing wrong— try to understand and find closure in that. It was him, being a jackass. He led you on, telling you he wanted more with you and then ripped the rug from under your feet. That’s one of the coldest things a person can do. But I assure you, karma will have its way with him somehow, because you just can’t be that sort of person and there are no repercussions from the universe. You are not a whore, or cheap, and there is nothing you could’ve done differently because he wasn’t a good person to begin with. Let it go, you deserve so much better.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 14

  • Why find one who appreciate you enough to want you for more than just sex but for the person you are besides if he was all that you will be calling him constantly so forget the dud get a real stud who will appreciate you and be there in morning still holding you and fix you breakfast as it should be

  • No I don't think that you have anything to lose, as you already gave them what he wanted. Looks like the guy had used you, that's why it's safer for girls to wait until marriage.

    https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Why+buy+a+cow+when+you+can+get+milk+for+free%3F

  • I'm sorry this happened to you, but it's very clear, he said he didn't want a relationship and you keep pushing to have one, this would be the most common reason he would push you away and get distance because you dont have the same goals.

  • I'm sorry for what you've been through. If you're looking for closure on your side you should tell him that a few times you've been around that track and it's not gonna happen like that coz you ain't no hollaback girl

  • Text him

  • Ignore him and move on. You have been dumped.

  • I'm sorry he's doing that to you. I hope your days get better

  • Damn I'm so sorry but he used you dont bother to text him cause he won't answer he's an asshole. Just move on surround yourself with friends and family get back into life and doing things to make you happy. And if you need to talk I'm here.

  • Don’t he’s an asshole. Pick better.

  • Sorry that happened to you.
    You did nothing wrong. What you described is how I like it.
    There are some guys out there called trophy hunters. They go for quantity not quality.
    There goal is one and done. A lot of these guys are on Tinder, you would be surprised at all the posts saying exactly what you said. Stay away from Tinder, it’s just for hookups!

  • He has used you for sex dump him and move on

  • Well the big thing for me is when someone does that what are you looking for or what do you want. that right there is a big turn off. use to be you would date, and see where it goes. but not anymore i guess

    • All I said was ‘I was just wondering if you’re looking for anything, I’m fine with whatever you wanna do’ this was 2 months in. The only Reason I asked was because he was being off after we had sex

  • Sorry to hear this. I guess you have to let it free and move on. Dont lose your self respect. If you really like him and want to see your future with him, just call him and express your feelings. But , if he is really not interested, then dont waste your time and energy. I hope that you will get someone who loves you unconditionally.❤

  • U asked him if he was looking for a relationship or not after u fkd him?

    Genius

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