Guys, would you care if your girlfriend is uncomfortable naked around you?

[Anonymous]

I’m 24 and a virgin for good reason. I’m on a weight loss journey to lose 160 pounds and I’m over 1/3 way there. If I allow myself to be in a relationship and have sex, I know it’d be difficult for me considering I’ve mutilated my body. I know I’ll have slight loose skin, stretch marks all over, my boobs will sag more, skin discoloration on my vagina/thighs/inner butt, etc. Although I am making efforts to diminish these because I can’t afford surgery, it’ll still be there. I might be able to handle wearing a shirt during sex or sex in the dark, but I don’t know.

If your girlfriend had bold and obvious flaws that are clearly unattractive to men, could you accept that she’s trying to do you a favor by not letting you see her? I feel if a guy saw my body, he’d go soft instantly, which is why I’m considering if I want to be intimate with someone in the first place. Thanks!

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well first, get healthy (I'm happy that you realize that you haven't treated your body well and are actively trying to fix it, you should be proud that your actively trying to fix yourself, not a lot of people have that will), I think that is your primary agenda right now, that is going to get your confidence up. Second, yeah you will have loose skin and that may require surgery for it later on (especially if the weight change is significant) and yes I admit it doesn't look attractive BUT its also not likely to be the end of the world either.

The discoloration is also again, not attractive BUT its also something that will be fixable. I would look up different ways to deal with that (its no different then anal bleaching, their are things that can be done to fix darker skin, the redder skin is mostly due to chaffing and will go away with the weight usually (again, if not their are creams and things that can fix that).

That said eventually if I was with a woman I would like to see her naked. So I think its important that the guy knows what he is getting into (its usually the expectation of one thing and getting another that is the problem rather then the issue itself). So once that happens most guys will probably be able to look past it (i mean the reality is most of us don't look like models (I've got a dad bod so I'm not going to be all that judgy because other wise I'm going to be judged too and I won't like that result).

That said once he knows you can do things to hide it without drawing attention to it i. e. if you refuse to take off your shirt its going to be obvious its because your self concious, but if you wear say a corset, well your naked which makes him happy, you've dressed up, which makes him happy, and you are hiding your flaws while enhancing your figure making you feel happy. So I think doing things like that (not always an option of course) would be a better way of dealing with this in the short term (plus if you get a guy who accepts those flaws, once you have fixed yourself and become the best you can be you know he is going to only see you as more attractive not less and he is a guy you want to hold onto because he was their when you were not at your best so you know that he actually cares about you).

I know that is probably not the best answer but its the most truthful one (good luck with the weight loss, don't get crazy with it though, make sure you do it in a healthy way because the last thing you need to do is go from one unhealthy habit to another).

[Berethor]

Well it's quite odd if on one hand you would be having the most intimate act with him but on the other hand you would not trust him to see all of you. Guys are more visual than girls, that why guys usually prefer to have sex in the light, and why guys usually prefer to see their girl fully naked. In most cases a guy would prefer to see his girlfriend fully naked even if her body is far from perfect, but that said at some point it might be too much even by his standards, and then yea he might prefer for her to wear something to cover the unsexy parts of her body, but how are you going to know for sure if it's too much for him without showing him at least one time? also for sake of honesty you should tell him the reason that you not allowing him to see you fully naked even during sex, though you don't have to go into details, but you should tell him that because you lost a lot of weight and not purely because of shyness.

You not doing him a favor by hiding your flaws, you mostly doing yourself a favor, after all he has the option of having other girl as his girlfriend, it's the other way around, he is doing you a favor if he agree to have sex with you despite your flaws and despite the all the limitations that you put on him, and you should be grateful for him, and compensate for the flaws and limitations by trying to be extra good at the sex itself. Yes it would be better for you wear a shirt during sex and/or have sex in the dark rather than staying virgin for life, and likely also lonely for life, because most guys would never agree to sexless relationship, but some guys would agree to sex while the girl is wearing a shirt and/or sex in the dark. The fact that you still a virgin also makes you more valuable for guys who value virginity, even if the reason for your virginity is fairly problematic, so you can use it to your advantage too, tell him that you didn't had sex with other guys, and he would likely appreciate, your body might not be prefect but it's all his, not other guy been with you in the past, so you totally his girl.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NakedOnRevival

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NatureAdoresAVirgin

[PrudentGuy]

(I'm in no means critical, but just speak fact based on what I think puts a couple together.)

1) as a guy, I dare say, most guys like to see his girl naked especially during sex. This is why porn sells so well. Its a guys desire.

2) as a person, you are worth more than your looks. However, physical attraction is an important "first spark" to a fire-hot romance.

And if (sadly) the guy cannot accept how she looks naked, then I regret to say, that relationship will fail, because sex is an important part to it. And great sex is done naked.

Thus my point is, instead of avoiding the issue, why not face it? Better lost early than drag on and eventually, if he feels the "lack" because he cannot see you naked, the relationship will break also.

3) I'm not saying no guys will accept how you look naked.

Rather, who knows there is this special one who actually likes how you look?

By being bold and sexually confident (which is my #1 turn on), your beauty will surpass what you perceived to be imperfect.

Thus to conclude, just bare it all with lights on. The one who stays is the One for life!

[OlderAndWiser]

"I feel if a guy saw my body, he’d go soft instantly,." How would you know how a guy would react? If you are at the point of becoming intimate with a partner, shouldn't you let your partner participate in making that decision? Or is this an excuse for you to simply avoid saying that you would be embarrassed?

[TechniCarl]

That's a tricky one, well yes but no at the same time

Yes, I would mind only a little because I would never want my girlfriend to feel uncomfortable around me for what every reason as part of a relationship you are suppose to care for each other and love every aspect of your partner.

However, I understand that people have what they deem 'flaws' some physical and others not so much and have very low self confidence as a result and if it made them feel better I would support it and would not care about it.

It boils down to how you feel and your partner should support you until you feel othery

[colelydiason]

I like to refer to a think as an artist's eye. When they paint something they can see all these flaws. What could have been better, what they did wrong. They have looked at this painting far longer than anyone else. The audience comes and sees an amazing painting.

[Pasiton5]

No I would just put her at ease make her feel as comfortable as ever patience understanding no rush respect her shyness fears discomfort that she has would not affect how I feel about or view think of her her, no it's cool

[Sam_The_Savage]

Hmm 😂

[Iron_Man]

Sooner or later my wife’s got a learn how to relax because I’m sure I will love her beautiful body

[AmeerX]

I think I would be shy clothed around the girl

[oncpl]

I always respect my partner's liking/disliking. In case she doesn't want to reveal her nude body, first I would try to convince her that still she is wonderful, sexy and great. And if she is still uncomfortable, I won't mind to see her in shirt only. Since I myself love nudity, it will therefore be a bit problem but good relations are maintained only by respecting partner's wishes.

[pizzalovershouse]

Not if s guy really cares for you he won't be turned off