Would this make a bad blow job?

I don't like having to sit in my knees in front of them and it makes me uncomfortable when they like... f****k my mouth. I feel like all the guys i've been with (I'll admit it's not many) want this kind of blow job and then to cum in your mouth which isn't my favorite either... I wish I could enjoy it more but I guess its not supposed to be about me anyway... I think id like just going slooower (if they don't take control as much and just let me explore and... I don't know do stuff!) and not having to choke and gag on one but that seems to be what they want...

All the other sex feels way more looooving and enjoyable but blow jobs have become something I dread. I know a lot of guys are into the gagging sound which I dont get... choking doesn't feel good and makes me cry when it happens cause wtf I'm being choked. It's hard to say no while its happening cause they're kinda in the zone.. but if you were to say before hand that you dont want any of these things is there even any point in a blow job? Would that just be a terrible blow job?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Oh girl. I feel sorry for your generation, honestly. Y'all have been bamboozled and brainwashed into believing that you have to do all this stuff, submit to boys, fall in line, do whatever they want to please them.

    Bullshit. Absolute horseshit. (Pardon my French. But I'm pissed about this.)
    Cum is not tasty. "It's full of protein." Give me a break. It doesn't have a pleasing texture. So if it's not inherently yummy, why the hell would so many girls want to swallow it now? They don't! This is called Persuasive Tactic. Peer Pressure Strategy. Yes, some are turned on. Yes, some want to please 'the guy' (not even 'their' guy, just some random dude who you met off the internet, and has convinced you into this one-way transaction of sex.) Fuck him. No, wait, don't fuck him. But he's convinced you all into thinking a blowjob, with swallowing, on your knees, head being forced down, 'face fucking' you, and a 'facial', is a compromise. Come on. No more. Stand up for yourselves. Literally, get up off your knees and use that backbone and tell them "no. I don't want to do that. I will not do that."

    And believe me, I am all for sexual liberation. If you were older, if more experienced, if you truly wanted it, I would say, 'you do you, girl.' But that is not what I see, in so many of these stories. I see sweet girls like you being coerced, against your free will, into doing something you're not comfortable with. And no person should ever have to do anything they don't want to do. Not sexually. You are better than this, more valuable than this. Don't forget that. Hear it. Believe it. Enough. Say "enough. Like me for who I am, get to know me. I'm not your sex slave." Yes, I said sex slave. Aka submissive. We women did not fight for equal rights, the right to vote, equal pay for equal education, work, and skill, respect, only to have young women get down on their knees and swallow what these shit 'men' are shovelling. "But I like it when he's tough, dominant..." Think about that. Think about why they like it. Sex is about connection, sharing something special, an experience. You want love and acceptance, make the guys get to know the real you. You want protein, go eat a steak. It tastes better.

    I wrote a mytake which somewhat relates to this. Not exactly, but somewhat. Take a gander.
    Girls: Dating 101: True Love Waits

  • Girl, you need to assert yourself here. Never do anything you dread or causes you to cry. By letting them do that stuff to you without putting up any resistance, you’re just reinforcing to them that it’s ok with you. It’s perfectly normal to verbalize to him what you like and don’t like. If you don’t want to be on your knees, tell him. If you don’t want to be crudely face fucked, tell him. Guys often get their ideas from porn and you have to kind of rein them in to what’s acceptable to you. Most of them will work with you. Sex should be mutual. Just tell him you like slow and sensual and not rough and choking on it. The easiest thing to do is have him lie on his back so you can control the action. I’ve never had a guy turn down a blow job on his back. He will still want it on your terms. Now the cumming in your mouth part, that is always a point of contention. Guys almost universally want that. I sympathize with you because cum isn’t my favorite either. It’s not horrible to taste but the snot like consistency turns my stomach. I normally take it out of my mouth when he starts to cum and l let him finish on my boobs or the side of my face. I think it’s a fair compromise. So yeah, you can give an enjoyable blow job without feeling bad about yourself. Just talk about it with your partner and discuss how you would prefer to do it. Communication is everything.

Most Helpful Guys

    • some of the best oral sex I have ever received. was from when the girl had full control of the speed and rhythm during the encounter.
    • so tend to let the girl do her own thing. when giving me oral pleasure but just commit if I like it or not. so she can modify her technique over time. to improve the overall pleasure for us both.
    • personally not into the whole forced gaging and deepthroating thing. that is something that mainly started in porn and went main steam over time. like most other kinky or fetish things have.
    • also don't expect her or force her to be on her knees in a submissive manner every time. while I stand over her in a dominant manner. but I can see why some guys might enjoy that more. if she is willing to kneel before me best to grab a pillow or something to lay down under her knees and legs for support.
    • can get almost the same enjoyment if I sit down or lay down. with sitting or laying in front on me or next to me in some manner.
    • as for releasing my load inside her or on her is ideal. kind of ruins the mood if she rushes away to spit out the load. due to taste, texture and volume issues.
    • however those can be addressed if the person eats/drinks healthier and exercises regularly. works for both males and females to some degree.
  • 15 had commented and only @offendedsorbet offered an Opinion similar to what my SO did to me.

    And that is VERY pleasurable despite nothing "action pack" like in porn.

    Yes, a total treat for me, just lying down facing up. Then she took her time, wet me, and the glide my dick slowly and smoothly in and out of her warm, wet mouth.

    No gagging, no choking, no head pushing.

    And when I'm near, I just say "I'm cumming". Then she decides. If she wants to swallow, she'll nod her head and then continues.

    If not, she stops and we continue with other foreplay (now me on her).

    This I think is very enjoyable for both. And I think you should talk with your boyfriend and try it. No need to follow porn. Sweet BJ is very pleasurable.

    • THIS. Asker, this is the type of man you look for.

    • @AmandaYVR 😛 Thanks!

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 35
  • you don't like face-fucking, deep-throating, or guys finishing in your mouth?
    That, in itself, is fine. I mean, real life isn't like porn and there are plenty of guys (arguably most) who aren't into more 'hardcore' stuff like that. I'm sure my fiance isn't the only guy who only enjoys a bj if he can tell the girl is actually enjoying giving it. So I think blowjobs aren't completely off the table for you.

    If the guys you've been with have given you such an impression, maybe you're a bit young and once you get closer to your mid 20's, you'll get more comfortable and confident with oral. I'm not sure where you live but I've never met a guy who's into the gagging sound itself.

    Enthusiasm? Yeah.
    Sounding like the chick might asphyxiate? Not so much.

  • actually that's how i give blowjobs... i don't do the choking and deep throating thing... i don't mind being on my knees and don't mind the 20 minute blowjob or the occassional 30 minute one either... if you start doing what they want you've had it... remember they're lucky to be getting a blowjob at all... and if they don't like it they can go jerk off in the corner.

  • That throat fucking thing is bullshit. Young guys get that idea from watching porn. I don't think it's nice to expect that from a woman. I'd much rather let her take her time, lovingly explore and enjoy it. But I do think she should expect to suck while I cum, whether she swallows or not.

  • Try talk about it before hand. Have him lay on the bed and ask if you can just do what you want. I think I've found a good balance of not choking and deep throating for my boyfriend and he loves it and I experience way less pain because of it.

  • I agree with you , I mean I like BJ's but if I fuck your mouth it's going to be in slow motion and if I go deep it will be in slow motion , when I cum I would do it how you wanted it. Not thecway I woukd like it I would pull it all the way out but I it will go all over your face and body, BJ's are great but i want to fuck i want to get you off 2 or three times for me that's better than any BJ

  • Young guys are watching too much porn! Next time a guy is inconsiderate enough to try to choke you, try to bite it off! Lol 😂

  • Just let him lay on his back with his dick facing up. Stroke him up and down with your hand (hand job) while sucking in his entire dick head in. It might give him the feeling he'd get from being deep-throated but you're not subjecting yourself to gagging or choking.

    • Nice.

  • You need to stand up for yourself A blowjob should be something you both enjoy We used to call it for play not nightmare suck It's nice of you to allow them to do that to you But if you get no thing from it then there is justification to put you through such torture

  • We all have our own preferences and likes !
    There is nothing wrong with knowing how you feel about things.
    I think I can help with a few of your thoughts.
    Hmu if you want to discuss

  • Tell them you want control over their cock. You want to build up their pleasure gradually. Don’t be afraid to use your hands. The balls like attention too. Could even suck them a bit to give yourself a break.

  • Deepthroating isn't for everyone, the fantasy comes from porn videos. I'll deepthroat and gag on my knees because it turns me on to know I'm being just like the women in the videos he's seen. Cum in the mouth isn't the only thing you'll get, I get the cum facial thing and cum between and/or on boobs ones too. If you don't like swallowing you could spit it onto your breasts or keep sucking and drool it out for a visual turn on. If it's not for you stand your ground and so no. Tittyfuck or give a handjob instead. You could just skip to full on sex too.

  • my last girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs when we met, but later in the relationship didn't like them... I didn't push for any cos of this but I did notice that when she was in the mood, she would go down on me... myself however, I would happily go down on her regardless as i love going down on the women i'm with...

    the secret is to not feel pressured as that can ruin your experiences of doing things... and i wonder if you've felt pressured during the past into giving blowjobs? and if so that could be why you dont like them now...

  • Some guys are jerks, they expect rather than appreciate.

  • Wow. That sounds pretty terrible. Don't allow this. Maybe have the guy lay down so you can control things.

  • That's fine just make sure you do it with enthusiasm!

    • Hahah I'll try to remember that :p

  • I have always felt like the BJ was more for the girl's enjoyment than my own, never asking for one but never refusing one, iether. One of the first I got was from three girls during this right of passage thing they had going in 6th. grade camp, with them raiding the boy's shower areas looking for a glimps, and an opportunity too weed out the prudes (future spinsters) from the herd, with dares of sexual prowess. I was not willing too let shyness get in thecway of avoiding underarm alarm in the summer heat, which gave them a naked boy too practice on. All three girls had exaggerated their knowledge of the carnal orals, and onecin particular, didn't know what too do with a penis once she had it in her mouth. The point I'm trying too make, is that after having my dick chewed on like a piece of beef jerky, there isn't much a girl could do too surprise me anymore, and if you're into giving BJ's but don't like assuming a specific position, there are millions of other positions available that can make both of you happy 😊.

  • If you don't want to do it, you need to tell him, as it transitions from consensual sex to secure assult/rape. I would make sure to discuss boundaries before hand, to make sure you don't suffer like this again.

    The act of sex is supposed to be fun for all involved, if you don't enjoy something, don't do it. Talk about it, discuss why and maybe in time you will want to try again some time.

    Also, none of that is necessary for a good blow job, its just different :-)

  • Im not saying ypu have to even give a blowjob, but if it hurts it means you are doing something wrong. Plenty of women dont mind blowjobs or deepthroat cause they have learned how to do it. There is actually technique involved. If you are just sitting there while he thrusts of course its going to suck.

    It would be better if he laid down on the bed so you have control and can learn at your own pace.

    As for the cumming in mouth thing. Its taste depends on the guy and what they eat. I drink a lot of sweet things so I've been told my cum is sweet. So some actually do enjoy the taste. However if you are deepthroating you will never taste anything.

    Anyways if you are not into blowjobs maybe talk about it with your boyfriend. Some actually dont care for them. For me its like foreplay. Women need it, and men can enjoy it. Sometimes its actually better than regular sex and hotter.

    It is your body though, dont let anyone take advantage of you.

  • in my opinion, anything that has the potential to cause physical discomfort or mental distress must be discussed beforehand. It's better to discuss it calmly in the cold light of day, that way you needn't risk "ruining the moment" once the lights go down and the hormones start whirring into action.

    To answer your question more concretely, some of the best BJs I've received were while I was lying down in bed. I guess some guys are insecure and "need" to be in total control at all times, and take every opportunity to "prove" they're the alpha. But honestly, it can be really hot to let the girl take a bit more control over the BJ, let her tease and play to her heart's content, then build up to a big release for the guy. It's a different kind of experience, I guess. And don't get me wrong, I certainly enjoy being in the more dominant position with her on knees, or me kneeling over her face while she lies in bed. But to me I find it shows confidence in a girl if she sometimes just tells me where she wants to position me for the BJ. Like, she's doing it mainly for my benefit anyways, so why does it matter so much to prove a point by facefucking her until near-fainting? Maybe I'm just not wired like the kind of guys you've dated. But maybe next time when a BJ is on the cards, you could just calmly tell him to lie down and get comfortable, and then slowly do your thing. Maybe some girls don't understand how much control they actually have over the BJ, but it's entirely possible for you to lead the experience now and then, without it feeling like you've "dominated" him. (Unless you're into that, of course!)

  • Your guy should let you go at your pace. Granted most young guys haven't figured out that a slow build up to cumming is the best part. They just want to shove it in and get off. If you're not into the gagging or rougher style then you need to point that out to them. If they keep insisting and forcing it, then they don't even deserve you giving them the pleasure.

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