Do all men suffer from some degree of the Madonna–whore complex?

[RingOfFire]

There is a notion that men require two kinds of women in their lives and cannot feel complete without a relationship with both. As their wife and mother of their children, they want a chaste, faithful, innocent, highly moral woman who will reflect the best of human values to instill in their offspring. But as a sexual partner, to put it bluntly, they want a whore. It's no wonder women are so confused about this by the way. I see so many who cannot decide which type they want to portray themselves as to attract men.

Not all men exhibit the same degree of dichotomy in this regard, but I think most if not all have some degree of this complex (although it's not always obvious). It seems to be an inescapable part of male DNA. No doubt this is related to the much higher rates of infidelity of men around the world and throughout history compared to women.

The physical manifestations of this are described here.

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In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship.[1] First identified by Sigmund Freud, under the rubric of psychic impotence,[2] this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna).[3] Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love."[4] Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".[3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex
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What are your thoughts?

[RemoErdosain]

Have you read the posts from women on this site? I think that complex applies perfectly to women, and I fully disagree with you saying men cheat more than women. Maybe women got caught less, if anything, but they definitely cheat just as much, if not more. Not every man cheats, and not every woman cheats.

Lots of women seem to want a man who is a provider as her husband and the father of their children, while at the same time they want the bad boy to bang them and treat them like a whore. I think that's the exact same situation you're describing here about men. Granted, there are lots of men like that

[RingOfFire]

"Lots of women seem to want a man who is a provider as her husband and the father of their children, while at the same time they want the bad boy to bang them and treat them like a whore." I think that's true. But I think women more often find this in one man than men find what they crave in one woman.

[RemoErdosain]

That's possible too, yes

[0112358]

No.

first off not all men want these things. But I’d agree that most men do want the sweet partner and mother and also want the freak in the sheets.

that’s not a complex.

it’s only a complex of seeing a woman as one destroys your ability to see her as the other. If you can’t have wild dirty sex with the mother of your kids, or if you can’t see a woman who fulfills your fantasies as good wife THEN you are struggling with a complex.

plenty of men have no problem with a partner who is both. (There challenge is finding and satisfying such a partner)

id guess the complex is more common with men who hold both strict moral views about women and sex but also crave sex that they think women who engage in are sluts. This is probably more common with a conservative upbringing?

[RingOfFire]

"This is probably more common with a conservative upbringing?" I'd say that's right. The ones with the liberal upbringing only want the ho.

[Anonymous]

Not all men (I hope)... but feel like I've definitely noticed this, even here on gag! When asked what they want in a woman they'll say things like "modest and VIRGIN" but when they see a picture a girl has posted half naked SO MANY start talking about how sexy she is and how they wish they could fuck her!

[RingOfFire]

A very astute observation and well made point. I think it's true. Men are torn. I think many women try to be both at once, but they are also torn and confused. It's understandable. Thank you for your great comment.

[LaurenAbabi]

You can act or behave like a "whore"and still come across as a classy lady.

[Berethor]

I don't suffer from it, I embrace it, sluts are not wife material, and smart men knows that, though what I embrace is not the Freud's form of Madonna–Whore Complex, but other form. :)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadonnaWhoreComplex

[Gedaria]

Madonna is the last woman I would want to be attracted to...

[RingOfFire]

HAHAHAHAHAHA! :)

[Gedaria]

Im not sure why I don't like her , I suppose she comes across as so false. Admittedly when she took that dive of that stage, i counldnt stop but laugh. the way that guy yanked at that cape. I will give her due she carried on..

[RingOfFire]

Like a virgin.

[Anonymous]

I don't buy the "Madonna–Whore Complex" thing at all. It' pretty straight forward and men and women are no different. Men want a woman who is a lady on the streets and a whore between the sheets. That's no mystery or secret but it's not some kind of "complex". It's no different from how women are attracted to masculine tough guys who treat them with kindness and tenderness, but they want to be dominated in bed.

In general, men and women are mirror images of each other in what they want in a partner. Just like women are most sexually attracted to "bad boys" but don't want to marry them for obvious reasons, men are sexually attracted to women who are overtly sexual and flaunt their sexuality, but they don't respect them or want to marry them.

Women have no more reason to be "confused" about all of this then men do.

[Opinion Owner]

Here's the bottom line in my opinion. Men want a virtuous woman who knows how to be a lady, but who can also be fun and satisfying in bed. I don't see any conflict there, nor do I think it is an unreasonable expectation. In fact it describes my wife perfectly.