you dont just "get" one...
friends with benefits situations are usually cultivated for awhile, and if it works out, it just happens naturally...
there are dating or hookup sites where you can go to find a friend, but unless they are into the friends with benefits type relationship, it won't happen... but there are some who are into the friends with benefits thing, and others who just want many one night stands, and hope to never see the person again...
the thing about friends with benefits relationships (and ALL other relationships) is that you need to have good sexual talent to keep the other person interested in being in a friends with benefits relationship with you... otherwise you will be placed in the "friend zone", where you can do "friend" things with the person, but NOT have sex with them... because they are getting all the sex they want from where its so much better for them...
friends with benefits means that neither person is interested in a conventional long term relationship, and that each person may have multiple friends with benefits's that they have to call on anytime they want to... but for the time that the 2 people are together, they are friends who enjoy what the other has to offer sexually...
"Friend" should very much be there in this kind of "relationship", but it's almost never there. Most don't even have basic respect for the other person sadly enough. But to find one, one person just has to have enough guts to ask. I've only had one, but we met online, which is easier because we already knew what each other was looking for. So after the first time or two we had sex, she asked me if I was open to a fwbs thing. I said sure and it went from there.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!First get to know them, and ask them what they think about such a relationship. then proceed to ask if you think they are down. if not, its not the end of the world. it just maybe they aren't attracted to you physically or w/e. Just do it... quick before like the friend zone sets in. also learn their kinks if they match yours if you are... exploring.
To begin: I think it takes a little feeling someone out. You could try some different tactics, one could simply be to be very direct and blunt (probably work better for a girl approaching a guy than a guy approaching a girl): " I really find you very sexually attractive and wonder if you would be interested in a NSA type arrangement?" It could be said in person or sent in a message.
To end: much simpler, I think it is best to be direct but you can also be a bit kind and careful as rejection is difficult for some people especially as a surprise. You can say/send something like: "I would like to stop our arrangement. It's not something I am interested in continuing at this time. I hope your feelings aren't hurt, thank you for the time and energy you spent with me."
These are pretty dry examples, you of course add your own personality to whatever is said.
i found him on a friend finder site... he wrote me often... i told him i was maybe interested in just giving blowjobs... i wasn't that attracted to him from his pictures i wanted to be because we actually got along great... so one day he got to me so i said i'll wear a nice mini skirt and have you over but there's no guarantee of a blowjob... he agreed... he comes over he's 5 3 i'm 5 10 and i'm in heels... i don't know why i didn't see this coming... he brings over a bottle of wine i go to pour us some glasses... i sit next to him on the couch... he's pretty funny has me laughing... puts his hand on my thigh... tells me i have nice legs starts caressing them both... i'm getting excited... he asks me would you like to give me a blowjob... i say okay... it was very exciting and arousing for me... he cums in my mouth i swallow... he tells me it was the best blowjob he ever had and i was the prettiest that ever gave him one... which i kind of liked both... he asks me stand up pulls down my panties lifts up my skirt and eats my pussy... then later i give him on my knees blowjob... then another i was definitely feeling comfortable with him... from there we kept on meeting and giving him blowjobs regularly
wish you were my girlfriend chrissy ;) as I am single nowadays and looking for a girlfriend or friends with benefits ;)
Gosh Luna,
You're 22 and have your life ahead of you.
I think you're aiming too low trying to find a friends with benefits.
You probably feel like sex is all that matters right now, but I don't think you should make the assumption that you're not worthy of having a proper, bona fide relationship.
First priority is to know yourself and what you want to do and what your values are. Get involved in the community, take up hobbies, study, train, set goals and work towards them. You'll be more likely to meet a guy who shares your values, interests, hobbies, etc. Plus, when girls are driven and know what they want, guys love that stuff and you become way more attractive. He'll want to spend quality time with you too.
This stuff matters much more than outward appearances. (Watch the movie Shallow Hal.)
Sex will be better with someone who has shared values and interests with you than a faceless stranger who will fuck you and leave you.
I’ve had like 4 friends with benefits in my life. We just met online like tinder and we started dating but most of them just wanted friends with benefits so naturally it just turned into that when we started having sex. If you have you’re eye on someone I’d say get to know them, hang out and have sex and then it just naturally turns into friends with benefits. I haven’t had to say to any of mine that we are friends with benefits it just a natural thing. They just message me when they want something and so do I. id say get to know them, and just speak about what you want to each other and then see if you’re on the same page.
my word of advice though, if you’re gonna get one make sure you don’t think you’ll catch feelings for them because I was heartbroken by one of them when they didn’t want more. Luckily my new one I don’t care about other than sleeping with.
Getting a friends with benefits is not an ad in the newspaper!
Both of mine were different (i have had 2; at the same time actually; both were black guys).
One was my girlfriend's dad and he started making subtle moves on me, that got more and more overt... until one day we were alone and he came out of the bathroom in just a towel, showed me his dick, and it started.
The other was a customer that came in my pizza place all the time with his Blonde, fake boobs cougar, that was always all over him, showing off he was her Arm Candy. I was the one that put a note in his hand when he got a pizza one time and said if you want to have some young, not demanding sex, call me..
I have tried with other guys to see if they wanted to be friends with benefits, but only the black guys were up for it... the white guys were too chicken their girlfriend or wife would find out.
Places you can look are like Plenty of Fish, etc... go to a nightclub or bar.
and tbh, the "single/divorced" dad, brother, cousin of a girlfriend is often a great friends with benefits... you just gotta show "interest".. flirt with them, ALWAYS kiss them goodbye and hug them more than 3 Mississippi's.. sit next to them all the time...
tends to work best if your already friends and have some positive sexual tension between you both. like you both casual flirt with the other or joke around. in a way that drops hinds that you might be interested if they also are. however could just come out and ask them if they wanna try a friends with benefits deal. even to just casually blow off steam and release stress now and then.
drops hints*
I've done it with just being blunt. Start by joking about dating apps and how guys suck on them.
Then make some comments like "gurls get horny too. You know? Sometimes we just want quality dick a few times a week."
See how he reacts. If he agrees or finds it funny. Then say, "Why is it so hard to find a friend with benefits? I thought guys liked that?" Then based on that make the ask. PM me if you want more advice.
A friend. That's why it's called a friend and not stranger with benefits.
There is absolutely zero benefit to the woman in a friends with benefits scenario. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
You end by saying 'it's over'.
It's rather curious to be so confused at your age. Are you really that confused?
It really depends on context. It can be as easy as mentioning the idea of it and going from there or maybe you really need to feel out what their limits are first.
Mm im not sure girls just come up to me and i try my best to prey upon them its not very hard to catch my prey
In friends with benefits, I at least understand it as just being friends for sex only. No feelings are involved you treat the other person and vice versa as just sex dolls
Start out as friends and see if you can get a feel for what they are after. Bring up the subject of casual sex at some point and see If they feel the same about it as you.
Whenever you feel like you’re starting to become friends with someone, ask if they offer dental insurance and a 401k.
wouldn't know not into that
just be overly nice.. overly available.. Friendzone.. will become Friends with Benefits
online, I suppose
Starting with a stranger is less complicated, with a friend you already have established a relationship with certain boundaries and sometimes moving those boundaries can be awkward at first.
I'm not saying that it can't work, just that it can prove to me more awkward and complicated.
Update:- you end it like you should end any relationship, with honesty. Be honest why you want to end it.
I have many women friends with whom I am very open to having a romantic relationship (but certainly do not demand it), but usually if I broach the topic of dating (with no implication of sex being part of that for the foreseeable future) has caused very negative reactions that have ended friendships too often for me to want to risk it.
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