Is it wrong to ask a friend to guide you through firsts? Kiss, virginity, etc?

[kinokino]

I experienced sexual assault when I was younger and I have a hard time being comfortable when the topic of romantic actions like kissing or sex are brought up directed to me. I really want to be in a relationship, but it’s hard for me to even date casually because i’m so nervous of being around men that might want to do things like kiss me, so I can’t really get anywhere from this. I want to ask a guy friend that I trust a lot to guide me through things and be my first kiss so I can get it over with, and maybe even ask him to take my virginity. If he does that for me, I think i’d be able to get over my fear of relationships a bit faster. I’m just worried it might make him feel weird if I ask him to do something like that. In your opinion, would that be weird or the wrong thing to do?

[Berethor]

Usually it a bad idea, it's usually better for a girl to have her first kiss and lose her virginity to a guy that she love and in a serious relationship and not to "just friend", that said it still not as bad as to lose your virginity in a sexual assault or in a one-night stand. By the way you sure that you didn't had your first kiss and lost your virginity already? and if that case then you don't have much to lose by kissing and having sex with a guy friend, and maybe it would help you get over your fear of relationships.

As long as your guy friend find you attractive enough then he most likely would not have problem with helping you out with that, he is a guy after all, and if it's you in the picture then I don't think think that you have much to worry about that. There is also a high change that your guy friend wanted to kiss you and have sex with you for a long time, and you friend zoned him, by the way why you don't want to officially date him? make a relationship upgrade? it's the same guy after all, does the dating status itself makes you uncomfortable?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsAlwaysEager

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RelationshipUpgrade

[JackSmy]

Yeah, I know what you are saying, and it sounds so PERFECT, right? Maybe your best guy friend, someone you totally love and trust, but not like a sexual companion.
He teaches you what guys like, and you both agree it is just like a 'business' thing, and no emotional stuff!! Yeah, right!! :)
It will NEVER work, don't try it, it will screw everything up, and he will be embarrassed, or you will, when one of you starts to really like the other, more!
Ever seen Friends with Benefits? Mila Kunis and Justin Timperlake? Just like that!!
But what if that 'best friend' is the one you really should be with?

[Anonymous]

Mh that’d be kinda weird sorry. Maybe if you guys start liking eachother? And if you find someone else you won’t have to have sex until you are ready and trust him

[MrCommodore]

Asking him might make things weird afterwards, particularly if he said yes and you kiss him and lose your virginity with him.

If you like him and trust him, why not ask him on a date?

[Pasiton5]

Depends on how good a friend that person is and when it comes to sex or anything sexual all bets are off and anything can and will happen good or bad depends on how you feel next morning, tell you this though you will never look on that friend as just friend again now you share something intimate personal perhaps emotional is it wrong, in this case there is no right or wrong, it's clear you trust and feel close to this person to even consider it so thread lightly if you go forward but your mind is already made up just be careful,

[Mikelaughs]

It really depends on the type of friendship you two have.
Hmu if you want to talk about it

[slatyb]

How long have you known him? The kissing might be easier than the sex. Maybe you should see a professional counselor.

[dreamstar72]

It’s not as bad as it sounds. You should find a girlfriend who is bi and have her teach you. Your best (boy) friend can/will lead you into problems friendship wise.

[Ripper_E]

If my friend asked me for that I'd agree to it. I care about my friends and if she chooses me to experiences that though, Id take care of her.

[Angelo75]

You could do a treatment called EMDR.
You will get a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT of good effects from it. But you must be open for it.
And honest to them and tel them everything.
Or it won't help.

[chriscdi]

it can go 2 ways, either he does it and y'all end up bonding more or he gets weirded out and can ruin the friendship and if not, it might never be the same, i guess you can test your luck and just see what happens but personally i wouldn't want to risk ruining a friendship i have mostly if its a good friendship

[HeresJames1]

Thats ok in my book, we all experience our firsts in different ways and are all nervous when it happens. It would be an honor for some guys. Just do whatever you feel ok with.

[wondering_guy]

If he's a close friend and someone you know, hopefully they can help you but but I'd explain the situation to him and mention the assault because if at any point you flinch or panic he will know why and go slowly

[WhiteGlaze]

Nope its not wrong and I wish people were more open to that sort of thing

[AmeerX]

Choose a guy first time and correct the first time

[Opuse1530]

Start with asking him just like you are asking us strangers... communication is the key. Goid Luck and if he says yes... Enjoy !

[Wise4myage]

Id say there would be a good chance of things being at least a bit awkward if you had sex. But if you have a friend you can really trust, then why not go for it? It might be wise though, to see a therapist too.

[Posterboy56]

Uh... it's not "wrong," like amoral or something, but don't do it.

[pizzalovershouse]

Do whats comfortable for you an it doesn't sound bad

[Bang5luts]

I don't think it would be weird unless your friend is a relative. Lol no. Stop worrying about it. If he's really your friend he won't judge you.

[GreenGold1992]

No, nothing wrong with that, gotta practice somehow

[nawtee_me]

Not at all... If you are comfortable with them then let them help you...

[Valnac]

I had a very good experience with a virgin.
But seeing as you were assaulted, it may bring up unwanted memories.
I would get counseling to make sure you are ready to date.