Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Am I bi and if so is it important to come out to my loved ones?

Im actually 22 not under 18 but that's another story. I've been questioning my sexuality since i was 13 years old.

Sometimes i have urges to kiss girls even ones i don't like sometimes. I really started to notice it more once i got to into college. There was a Indian exchange student i made friends with. She was beautiful and really sweet. I remember one time she got on the bus with me into the city because this guy was following me and afterwards we went shopping. Everything she tried on looked stunning on her and i couldn't bring myself to look at her incase i gave it away but i kinda liked her. After we were done, she gave me a hug to say goodbye and i had them urges again to kiss her but i didn't. One time i herely kissed a girl and she went mental at me and embarrassed me in front of a room full of people when i was only 13 years old.

I felt so disgusted with myself for having feelings for this girl in my class and instead focused on setting her up with a mutual friend of ares who really liked her to distract myself from how i felt.

I've caught myself checking out girls before and i sometimes get turned on by women too. I sometimes look at them and think wow her body is amazing and will ask my boyfriends opinion on them. I definitely have a type for darker skinned girls but i feel like if i had a girl in front of me naked id be sick and wouldn't want to fuck a woman.

I don't know if i just appreciated womens bodys or that im actually bisexual. I think my stisters and my boyfriend have slightly picked up on it from things I've slipped up on by accident. I've told my boyfriend I've been sexually confused before and he said he's okay with that just as long as i don't wake up one day regretting being straight.

The thing im most scared of is people seeing me differently, plus i come from a very Conservative family. Plus i feel my connection with men is much stronger emotionally and physically.
Updates:
+1 y
I can't control my feelings around men like i can do around women. I find men extremely attractive more often than i do with women and have a stronger feelings for men too. I feel like if i was ever in a relationship with a women it wouldn't work out and id feel really uncomfortable. It's only on rare occasions I've liked women but with men i can't help myself. Maybe I'm just a massive prev 😂
+1 y
The thing is don't think people would make sense of it either as im in a relationship with a man and I've always been very open about my attraction towards men. I love my boyfriend to pieces and i can't imagine life without him. I know he's the one but i feel like just because im with a man people won't understand how i could also be attracted to women. If i plan on spending my life with a man, the only person I've actually ever been with.
0 4

Superb Opinion

  • There really isn’t a need to put a label on your sexuality unless you want to. You sound bi-curious if anything, but to be honest the fact that even the thought of a naked woman doesn’t do anything for you seems more like you have a high appreciation of the beauty of women. Have you ever watched lesbian porn? Have you ever fantasized about any girl you’ve known?

    • Yes I've watched lesbian porn and it does turn me on but i don't know if that's because im seeing a woman enjoy herself more than straight porn that mainly targeted towards straight men and what straight men like and no I've never fantasized about a woman I've known. I think it purely a superficial thing when it comes to women unlike when i like a guy.

    • Okay just came back after a quick experiment. Gross i won't get into details. Put I've actually not watched porn im a long time and I've definitely not watched lesbian porn for a even longer time. Yes lesbian porn gets me there but not as much as straight porn does. Watching lesbian porn didn't do much for me. It was kinda boring.

    • Sounds like you just have an attraction to females on a surface level. I wouldn’t consider you bisexual. You get turned on by men, want a relationship with a man, and straight sex is what gets you aroused the most. I think it’s safe to say, you’re straight

Most Helpful Girl

  • Definitely sounds like you're bi. I think coming out is definitely important but don't make a big deal out of it to everyone. I'm bi too and I thought I was a lesbian at first but I was open about it with my mom and my girl friends at the time. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it.

    • Okay i actually have a question for you. Can lesbian/bi women tell when another lesbian /bi girl is coming onto them or tell of someone is gay. Especially at your age because when i was your age a girl in my class would always ask if i was gay and said i give off a vibe but im not 100 % straight. Shed always tell me i was pretty, but she loved me and even asked me to go on holiday with her not long after meeting her. I just thought she was just being clingy and was desperate for friends. A couple years later she came out as bisexual and i mean she was kinda cute but can't imagine myself with her. she's always liking my fb posts now too but lives im the US working in summer camps so luckily i don't have to deal with her clingly side anymore.

    • Also i had a friend who had been with girls before ask others at a party if they'd ever experimented with the same sex before and if they were slightly gay. She never asked me even though i was sat next to her and i could see everyone trying to avoid eye contact with me. I don't know if they thought it might be a touchy subject for me to talk about. There's always been rumours about my sexuality growing up and maybe they are ture.

Most Helpful Guys

  • there are tons of women that are just like you.. they like women only in sexual way... don’t mind fooling around with women a little bit and threesomes and stuff but are only attracted to men as far as relationships go. Really, that’s extremely common. But there is no need for you to tell anyone. You bed, your business.

  • Yes you should be honest with your boyfriend and looks like he okay with it as long as it don't turns out that you are lesbian, but it not likely because you say that you have a preference for men, and in fact you likely more straight than most women here. :)

    Am I bi and if so is it important to come out to my loved ones?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7

  • Who cares? You are who you are.

  • You are just very confused. You're 22, so explore!

    • I love my boyfriend and im not willing to leave a great relationship to explore my sexuality. there's no point when i know I've already found the one i want to spend my life with. I just also know there a little bit of attention towards women too in the back of my head.

    • Ahh, so you want comfort and a pat on the head.. My apologies.

    • Im not trying to sound rude. It's just I've had a lot of pressure on me to come out lately about being bi by people who are starting to pick up on it. But i don't want people to all a sudden change there attitude towards me. I still want my boyfriend and no one else. I just happen to also find woman attractive time to time

    • Show All

  • no such thing as "being bi", now that gay marriage, is legal

  • The urges make you sexually curious.
    If you act on it, it’s called bi-sexual and is very common.

  • I think it’s important to be true and honest with yourself. If it’s makes you feel happy and more honest to tell your loved ones then you should. Your boy friend should support your feelings

  • we can't help what we like, we just make the best of it

  • It really isn’t their business to know your sexual orientation.

    • Thats what i think too but i feel sooner or later people will figure it out. If i keep letting my thoughts in my head come out verbally. For example will be talking about a girl and I'll just come out and say something like "i would" about her.

    • It’s your opinion of what you think about a girl. Hell, I’m bisexual been for a long time. Only person in my family that knows is my brother and that’s because he gay. My dad knows because he was bad mouthing my brother and I told him I was to defend my brother. My sister knows because when we used to live together in an apartment I would invite lots of women over to be my pillow princess. I’m not ashamed of what I am. The only person who doesn’t know is my mom and extended family. Speak your mind about a female and don’t worry about what others think. Everyone will always find something negative to say. They will always judge. You know what you like you just gotta be you about it. But take no crap from no one.

  • You're definitely bisexual, but it's nothing you need to be ashamed of or share with anyone else if you don't want to. Studies have shown that almost all "straight" women are bisexual to some degree.

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