I'm officially a 24 year old virgin. Any advice?

Question

Im about to turn 24 and I’m still a virgin, with no near future hope of having sex. I've never had a boyfriend either. I do have kissed some boys, 3 to be exactly; but those time were always at parties while drunk... I don't think I’m ugly, I could lose a few pounds but I’m not obese either. Its not that I’m highly selective or that I’m saving myself, it just hasn’t happened yet!
but I’m getting anxious as time goes by, and anytime my friends or anyone bring up sex to the conversation I get so uncomfortable and awkward! I just want to get it over wigh.

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

Honestly, being a virgin at any age is not a big deal, people make it out to be one (and to be honest, I find that very childish; the last time I remember anyone caring about whether anyone else was a virgin or not was in high school, and to be honest, it's nobody's business whether or not you're a virgin). I wouldn't stress it.

In fact, I'm just about to turn 25 and a virgin myself (though by choice). I was self conscious about it as a teen when my friends were heavily pressuring me, but realized it really means nothing in the greater scheme of things. The only difference between a virgin and a non-virgin is that the non-virgin has experienced sexual intercourse. That is it. That is not something that forever alters who a person is or officially makes them an "adult" or any of that overrated nonsense people make it out to be. It has absolutely no bearing on anything other than that that person has experienced something the other person hasn't. So, please don't let the childish stigma surrounding virginity or other people get to you.

If you ask me (and of course, I'm biased), I think it is something best done when you are absolutely 100% sure you feel ready and that it is right for you, and not out of pressure or "just to get it over with". I know for a fact that if I had caved into my friends' pressure (as well as societal pressure) and had sex with either of my exes or any of the guys I knew at the time, I would've deeply regretted it later, mostly because I knew deep down that I didn't really want it, didn't feel ready, and didn't love or even feel true attraction to any of those guys. I know everyone is different and maybe these things don't mean much to you or you feel like you are ready and aren't being pressured, but it's just food for thought. I honestly think most people, depending on how they view sex, regret it if it is done "just to get it over with" and not because it was truly right for them and a decision they made on their own without any pressure of any kind.

Please know too, that having had a partner or having had sex =/= being more desirable or a higher quality person. That's a huge misconception. We all experience things in our own time and there's nothing wrong with that. Not to mention that simply having sex or being in a relationship does not always mean a person is even wanted or loved (as there are a lot of people who settle, either out of desperation or pressure), unfortunately, which is why this is such a misconception.

I really hope you are not only wanting to have sex because of what others might think of you remaining a virgin. If they ask you about anything sexual, simply tell them you prefer to keep your sex life private. Nobody should be snooping in your personal business, anyway. Their opinions do not matter and should not influence your own very personal decisions in any way. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex and seeking it out at all, but do it because YOU want to, not because you're worried about what others might think or feel pressured in any way.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This is so sad to read, i know my profile says im under 18 but that's because I spy on my little brother on here. Im actually 22 and have two older sisters. 24 and 25.

We all struggled with boys growing up and none of us dated till we were in are 20s. It's perfectly normal and your not alone. I know exactly how you feel. You stay up at night praying one day Mrs prefect will come around or that guy you like is finally gonna ask you out. You wonder whats wrong with you and why others have no trouble getting into relationships so much it sometimes makes you bitter.

My oldest stister was the first to get a boy at 24 and i was second at 21 and my middle stister was last at also 24 years old. We all pretty much started getting boyfriends around the same time because once one of managed it we realised we can't just sit on are ass waiting for prince charming to come along, we had to get are self's out there even if at first we were shy and awkward about it.

There's no point rushing into a relationship when your not ready and there's nothing from stopping you dating and getting yourself there (besides covid). Even if things don't go great at first it will give you some experience with guys and help you better know what you want in a man. Don't rush anything and take things slow. One day your prefect soul mate will come along and you'll feel so happy and lucky to have found love you'd had forgotten about them years you were single af by then. Also most relationships last longer and are better in your 20s over being in a relationship with someone you've dated since you were a teenager them relationships never last.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

in my opinion, the reality is that if you haven't had a boyfriend at 24, it's because you've worked AGAINST having one, whether you realize it or not. You certainly will have had plenty of guys interested in you, but you either were completely clueless, you dismissed them entirely, or you outright rejected them.

I would also guess that you don't socialize much, and that when you do, you are either shy and sit quietly in a dark corner somewhere, or you stick in a tight group of girls the whole time.

I promise you, there are 50 guys in your town who would be interested in dating you (I have no idea where you live, but even in a podunk town, there's at least 50 guys), but you've got to put in some work to find them and then you have to say "YES" when they ask you out on a date. Remember: a date isn't a marriage proposal or lifetime commitment, and they needn't be perfect to date.

Stay off dating apps and go outside and meet LOCAL guys in person (avoid guys who don't live within 15 minutes from you). EXPECT some of them to show interest in you, and when they do, unless they're completely awful, show some interest back. Smile at them. Talk to them. Touch their hand or arm. Give them a hug. Laugh around them and with them. Let them see that you are a fun person. Do that, and you'll have a boyfriend fairly quickly.

Once you have a boyfriend, the sex issue will take care of itself.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Happy birthday look you don't want to just get it over with because that's going to be the worst experience for you ever I was going to go One Direction but I'm going to go another do you masturbate defense size you dream do you have passion do you have desire if yes there are maybe five thousand guys on this site ASAP I don't know really start chatting with one of them have cyber sex first put yourself in that position and feel what it feels like masturbate to it take it to the Limit still everything you want to feel I'll be your first experience what you experienced something you can move on and on until you get to the point to where you know you're going to have some bad make love to you he'll send me a message I don't care find somebody that you can experience something with because when it comes time for somebody to make love to you you want to have that experience you want to be able to feel what it feels like you want to know what a touch touch feels like you want to know where the kiss a passionate kiss feels like you want to know what becoming one feels like so just don't go out there and get yourself laid because it's going to suck send me a message send somebody a message and tell him what you want be honest experience it first in different ways don't just throw yourselves to the wolves

kaylaS91 · Answer

My advice would be to stop putting so much value on whether a dick has been inside of you or not. In doing so, you’re basically reducing yourself to someone who’s desperate for sex which there’s nothing inherently wrong with but..

Speaking from experience as I also only became sexually active pretty late in the game, no one will really care once you have sex. It’ll be a non event for most.

kitkat9 · Answer

I’m 27 and still a virgin. I’d encourage you not to let outside factors pressure you into doing something you may or may not be ready for. Do you really want to look back and say the only reason you first had sex was because you wanted to get it over with, or that you waited and were patient, and when it finally happened it was your choice and it was at least somewhat special? Believe me, I know how you feel—I’ve never even kissed a guy. But I’m going to keep hoping, praying, being patient, etc. until I know that it’s right. It’s no one else’s business, no one else’s life but our own. Stay true to yourself :)

Mars24 · Answer

I've been there and understand just how easy it is to be self-conscious about it. It is hard when you feel like you are falling behind your peers on some important life experience. But honestly, it is so much better to do it at your own pace and know you really want it. Otherwise it can have you making regretful decisions and you will feel even worse. If you feel you are ready, jump into the dating world and see how that goes or take your time to meet someone you genuinely connect with and want to have sex with. It helps to socialize a lot outside of your comfort zone to meet different people. I realized I just wasn't really attracted to anyone in my social circles and needed to expand that. I was older than you and no guy ever gave me a hard time about it, if someone does in that situation they are not worth being around. It really isn't that important and does not make you lesser in anyway for not having experienced it yet.

spuitkaas · Answer

24 years old is a very normal age to be a virgin. I have friends who are 23/24 and still virgin. Don't be ashamed.
It could be that you have unrealistic expectations. That sex is scary or should be with the one. Actually the first time sex normally kinda sucks and is nothing more than having sex but for the first time. If you find someone you feel comfortable and chemistry with, you could do it, but overall your worth etc is not determined by the number of bed partners.

iceRoseThorn · Answer

Me too.. and I'm older than you.. Don't worry about it! Wasn't meant to be. You're lucky you're pretty, though. Anyway, don't you dare go looking for sex just to "get it over with"

Your first time should be special

RemoErdosain · Answer

If you want to lose your virginity, that's extremely easy for you to do. I can't believe you're anxious about it. Really, a woman will be able to lose her virginity at basically any age. A guy might have a harder time

katiesmuff · Answer

Nobody will really care one way or the other if and when it happens. Just keep your life the way you want and one day someone will come along and you will connect.

Mollynotgemma · Answer

Do you even know what age many people lost their virginity? Most lie! It isn’t an issue unless you make it become one! You will have sex for the first time and only you need know about it! There is no alarm when it happens.
Relax! Time is not against you! The fear of needing to lose the most precious thing you have is forging your demise! But you still
Hold the one thing many would say it’s worth the wait! Sex seems scary! Due to social media and ideas of how it is! But that is not how it is... fear only your fear of feeling inadequate and lost at being a virgin! But how I would wish I had saved myself

noalevi · Answer

That can actually be a good thing.
You can save it for the wedding.. You waited so long.. You can just say you are saving it for your husband. Don't loose it just because you are old loose it because you feel like it's the perfect time to loose it.
Look think in your head - that the reason you are a virgin is because you don't want to have sex till the wedding. And even if you do get a chance to have say no. You have waited so long your husband will think you are special that you saved it for him.
That's what i think

Paolaa988 · Answer

Trust me. You're not alone. I am 22 almost and still a virgin myself. 2 of my friends lost it already and one is married with kids i know i have time but i still feel so far behind and like im missing out on these experiences but I'm just trying to stay patient and not lose hope. What keeps me going is realizing there's no limit to enjoy your life and its never too late no matter how old you get as long as your happy at heart. Society is always gonna judge anyways. Look at it like this, you didn't just throw it away. In my view id rather have sex with a guy that actually sees my worth and value not just wants to fuck me and never see me again.

WadeDanielSmith2 · Answer

"Get it over with" is the wrong attitude to have. You'll end up spreading your legs for someone who doesn't really care about you.

Just be patient and let God's timing happen. You really shouldn't get in a habit of having sex with strangers and stuff, so don't rush things. You want to have sex with someone who cares about you, not a one night stand or something.

jabariw18 · Answer

As a girl you can literally download Tinder and say that you're looking for something casual. You'll lose your virginity the same night, and from an attractive guy.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You are OFFICIALLY a 24 year old virgin? You registered at the courthouse? :) :) :)

hahahmm · Answer

Stop obsessing. Messing with the wrong person or too many people can eventually mes up your life. Think real hard about what you want your life to look like in 5-10 years & then decide how best to proceed.

MrCommodore · Answer

Try not to focus on sex, instead focus on meeting a guy with the view to dating and havinga relationship.

If you meet a suitable guy, and you both click, the sex will happen naturally at a pace that suits you both. Being a 24 year old virgin isn't important, it won't matter to a guy who likes you.

Maybe try to meet guys with similar interests to yourself.

Starrr01 · Answer

This is actually a good thing. Why are you in such a rush to lose it? Maybe this is happening so you can wait for a person who is worthy of taking your virginity. I’m only 19 and sex has presented itself to me many times. My ex was very pushy for me to have sex with him and it was the worst feeling ever. I’m a virgin by choice because I’m particular on who I want to share that experience with. Guard your body and treat it with respect

Lov2PlezUgurl · Answer

I'm sure you already got tons of advice some good some not so good choose what you do very carefully I'm sure you know there are a lot of men AND women that will take advantage of you please don't let that happen if you meet someone online don't accept a drink from anyone other than the bartender and you really shouldn't have any alcohol eather, always drive your own car so you will have your own way home just have common sense about you and if possible take a friend with you... you should follow me I could give you some real advice on just about anything but the thing about advice is to use it when and where it's needed be careful and I hope you get what your looking for and have a good time doing it oh I'm sure you don't live near South Carolina if you did... i don't want to sound like a dick but PM me

HowAwkwardToBeAlive · Answer

Meet someone who is very kind and who you feel comfortable with not just anyone. Sleep with someone who you know will treat your body well even if you just want a one night stand.

Don’t rush just because you feel abnormal, wait until the moment feels right. Have sex when you’re sober instead of drunk as well. And if you don’t want anything serious then let the person know beforehand.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Wait to find someone who is somewhat special to you. Take your time in getting to know the person. And of course use birth control. Keep your eyes open and your options open. You never know when you will meet that special someone.

mistixs · Answer

I don't think that it is ever a good idea to rush into sex just for the sake of losing your virginity. You want losing your virginity to be a pleasant experience with someone you trust. Otherwise it could be painful.

I'm officially a 24 year old virgin. Any advice?

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