Do you think it's better to hide your sexual past from your boyfriend/girlfriend if you know they won't be able to handle it?

[Anonymous]

I have two examples on top of my mind right now.

First is, One of my friend told her fiancé about her past and he was kind of shock mostly because she didn't do anything like that with him. She tried to explain him that she's not the same girl anymore and it was very hard for that guy to accept this but he stepped up and got married on decided date.
I repeat, Main reason he was upset was because "she didn't do any of that with him". He did not cared about her. He did not cared if she was hurt by all the things she did, it was all about himself.

Second is my own. I tried anal with one of my ex 3-4 times but didn't liked it so I decided not to do it anymore, never. During a casual conversation I told this to my current boyfriend and he lost his mind for a entire month. He was acting as if I took something that belongs to him and now refusing to give it back. But now he's fine. He accepted the fact that past is past.

Do you think it better to hide things if you know for fact that loved one would not be able to take it or would not be able to understand it?

[18will2]

No i don't think you should hide anything, I think you did the right thing. I think your bfs problem wasn't that you had tried it, it's the fact he probably desperately wanted to try it with you and because of experiences from the past you are saying no and he feels like he is missing out and is probably jealous that someone has had something with his girlfriend he hasn't and won't have. Have you thought about giving it at least one more try? So he doesn't feel like he's missed out or hasn't experienced less of you than someone else?

[Asker]

No. We're very intimate with each other otherwise except for that one thing so he's fine just little upset. And you're right. He might be upset because someone else got to do it with "now his" girlfriend but he didn't. I never thought about it this way.

[18will2]

You got to think, you are now his and if he is serious about you he wants everything. The good, bad and the ugly and he wants to experience everything and he perhaps also thinks if you were willing to try it with someone else but are not willing to give it a go at least once with him that you aren't that serious about him. He will feel like he is missing out and you haven't given everything of yourself to him.

[Asker]

Well no. I'm not trying it ever again. You're again right but I'd rather have him grown up and accept it. Most importantly, as of now, things are cool. Nothing serious.

[18will2]

If he's cool with it then you don't have anything to worry about and hopefully he has accepted it like you say but just remember if it does come up again those are probably the reason for it and if that happens maybe tell him some of the things he has got to do that others haven't... More importantly try and get through to him that no matter what others have done in the past you never felt the same way about them

[Anonymous]

The problem most guys have with a woman's past is with how many guys she has had sex with. But when it comes to specific sex acts that she was willing to do with other men but is not willing to do with her current partner, I don't think it's hard to understand why a guy would be hurt by that. Not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do