Signs of future aggression and control?

[Belleevans]

Hello! I have been in a loving relationship for almost 5 months. But during sex he slaps my face, holds my face, covers my mouth and nose sometimes as i orgasm where i pull away because i can't breath, also puts his hand lightly around my throat, pulls my hair. He always makes me say "im only yours, no one elses"... the other day we were just sitting on the bed and he had his hand around my throat saying "are you only mine? say it"... i said it and he slightly tightened his grip saying "louder!" i said it again and he tighted slightly more and said "louder!" i yelled IM ONLY YOURS and he let go and said "ok ". He doesn't grab my thoat hard but seems to grab it now a lot and says he loves me and wants to take care of me. Is it me or is this a sign of a future domestic violence or controlling man?

[Oigit]

I'd say its a sign of both. If he does things like that with you in bed before clearing it with that you. I'd say its a big red flag. "the other day we were just sitting on the bed and he had his hand around my throat saying "are you only mine? say it"... i said it and he slightly tightened his grip saying "louder!" i said it again and he tighted slightly more and said "louder!" i yelled IM ONLY YOURS and he let go and said "ok ". He doesn't grab my thoat hard but seems to grab it now a lot and says he loves me and wants to take care of me. Is it me or is this a sign of a future domestic violence or controlling man?" pretty much drives the point home. Also the above was clearly a scene of a need for domination and him taking control over you.

Also you need to understand that a lot of times physical abuse does accelerate in intensity and force over time. Could start with grabbing someones wrist or a shove. Then it turns into getting slapped and after that next time it could accelerate into being punched. Physical abuse is mostly based off a need to control someone. The less in control a person feels, the more they abuse their partner and the severity of the abuse ratchets up. He has already demonstrated a need to control and started exhibiting forms of abuse. So it would be best to get a exit plan going and start talking about people that are close to you about it.

[AndyOh]

Uh, to me, he sounds like a very controlling man and possible domestic violence. How is he when things don't go right? Does he become unglued and get violent?

You need to think about how things are going now and how they might go. If you stay longer you will feel his hand on your throat more often and tighter. That 'Im only yours' is just the beginning. He wants a slave woman he can totally control... is that what you want to be?

Be wary of this one... and I would leave, just my opinion.

[AndyOh]

Thanks for the MHO... :) I hope you are doing what is best for you.

[Mars24]

Um sounds a bit fucked to me, but I don't know. Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable? Or if it is a kink thing for him and you decide you are okay with that then make sure you have a safe word in place and proper communication around what you are actually comfortable with.

[Serenitykayyy]

It depends. If this only occurs when there is something intimate about to happen then it’s just a kink he has. But if he tries to control you outside the bedroom setting then he might be a controlling person.

[Belleevans]

Yes I will monitor that thanks!

[perfectchaos]

I dated a girl who wanted me to do that and further and I said no. Everyone is different and I don't know him personally so I cannot say if it's just and will always be a sexual thing. What I will say is if my significant other tried anything like that on me we would be through in seconds.

[ColHathi]

If he does it outside of when you're being intimate, I'd guess yeah.

[Valnac]

That is degrading for a woman. It sounds like you don’t like it.
Communication is important, tell him how you feel.
If he does it after you told him. Then leave him.
That’s not how a woman should be treated!

[kareka]

He just like daddys lol
U can help him and make it hotter