Why won’t my boyfriend give me oral and how to talk to him about it?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and we’re both each others firsts. We are both always trying to do new things in bed and talking about it with each other and every time we would, he would bring up that he wanted to perform oral on me, I was scared about that and a few months pass and I’m ready, I tell him. He then seemed defiant and doesn’t want to, his sudden switch from eagerness to almost disgust made me feel ashamed about myself. But, I respected his decision and left it there. But, I started to become upset in the next month because the main thing is that he’s never made me cum or has never come close to it. He does mostly nipple play on me and rubbing down there but he never seems to know where to place his fingers even though I’ve directed him and told him what to do and offered that he try to search up female anatomy and watch videos. It becomes uncomfortable at a point and I ask him to stop. I jerk him and give oral etc. around 3-5 times in a day that we meet on weekends. But, lately I’ve stopped in doing bj’s because in all honesty I’ve always hated doing them but he always manages to coerce me to because it’s his favorite, I figured that I also have a choice to refuse too. The problem is that he doesn’t make an effort to pleasure me and doesn’t give any reason as to why he won’t perform oral on me besides saying that it’s "just because". He did it once and embarrassed me by licking with the tip of his tongue two times then stopping and sticking his tongue out (not tasting it at all) and wiping it off by going to the bathroom. Mind you I always make sure I’m hygienic/eating healthy and have had to deal with bad taste on his side. Am I wrong to want this?

knottywriter · Accepted Answer

I have had the reverse of this problem. My wife won't give me BJs because she doesn't want to. I am the opposite because I purely enjoy eating a woman out. However I also thought it was unfair to give and not receive. I stopped and she has tried to get me to go down but I haven't and she doesn't argue because she realizes what the reason is without having to say it. It actually sucks for me because I really enjoy it. But the fact he expects you to give him something because he likes it and won't do the same is clear evidence of selfishness. If he is actucoercing you to do it when you don't want to, that is an even more serious issue. Just be safe but don't do something for him if he is not wiling to do it for you. And certainly don't be forced to do something against your will.

bowenw · Accepted Answer

You are entitled to enjoy whatever gives you pleasure. There are girls that don't like giving blowjobs there are guys that don't like eating pussy. I'm not sure those kind of people can ever change, but being open and communicating is the only place to start. If you don't get anywhere ask him if he would be open to counselling.

AustinMan · Answer

Are you having sex?

Berethor · Answer

You hate giving him blow jobs and you ask why he hate giving oral? the real question is why he offer that to you in the first place, he should had not done that if he don't want to do that.

CapnHawk · Answer

No, your b/f is extremely selfish.

DavidFox · Answer

You just let him know it’s not a choice. You have a need for oral and as your boyfriend he has to figure it out. Also you need to figure out how to give him a bj without hating it. Look, if you both just want to feel pleasure then be single and eat junk food. But if you want to give pleasure and care about someone else, then learn to give oral.

dutch69lover · Answer

I'm sorry that he won't give you what you crave. Maybe try seducing him into it. Shave yourself good and let him find you later back rubbing yourself and tease him telling him you want his tongue to worship you.

If that don't work jist tell him Your gonna go find a real man (or woman) that appreciates fine dinning lol

RHK36 · Answer

Your boyfriend sounds selfish, get a new boyfriend.

Snowman666 · Answer

Tell him he hasn't made you orgasm. Tell him you can only cum if he eats you out. If it smells down there you have a bacterial infection most likely and simple pills clear that up. Make sure you wash down there before. Also don't do him if he won't do you. I make my wife orgasm every time i know because she shakes i feel the release of wet and warm. I love to eat her out and feel her shake upon my mouth. If nothing bears fruit call him gay.

1MattyIce · Answer

I've heard a guy say before that he didn't like doing it because he viewed a vagina like an open flesh wound.

Valnac · Answer

Hell no, he’s a whiney boy, get yourself a real man, that knows how to treat a woman.

CubaPirate · Answer

Stop giving him it and take it from there

cgehr783 · Answer

Explain female discharges. Then hell be all over ir pussy

Joe1956 · Answer

He's inept at oral sex. He's not really into giving it... more into receiving... could be he just doesn't know what to do... or it's not what he thought it would like doing oral in a girl. He does seem to have lost interest in it