My boyfriend is stressing me out?

[Anonymous]

This man is in his 40s. He's had kids already and he doesn't get to see them because his choices of ex wives were... just bad. Very bad. He's been married twice. Once while he was young and dumb. And the other he thought would work but didn't. ANYWAYS.
He is extremely paranoid (to an unhealthy degree) of me getting or being pregnant. It's like he's scared to death of it. My 24 year old ex was more okay with me being pregnant than him. And obviously him being an older man he's financially stable.
It's stressing me out because one day he's okay with kids and then the next week he's not. He's constantly saying thank God you got your period. Most the time we use condoms anyways. They are just annoying remarks.
It's like a light switch that goes on and off. It's irritating me and I feel like a human yoyo. I'm younger and I feel my thought process makes more sense! Why is he being like this? Its annoying the hell out of me. Then he has unprotected sex with me and now I could be pregnant... yet he freaks and always wants a condom the next week. If I get pregnant not only will it be my fault but mostly his! Why do men ejaculate inside you but then don't want you to get pregnant. He isn't that damn stupid... so I'm confused. I'm noticing a lot of men do this even the ones in thier 30s and its annoying. Why do it if you don't want the girl to get pregnant? Another thing is that I have a very very hard time getting pregnant anyways. He knows this yet chooses instead to believe I'm lying.

[ejx629]

🤦‍♂️I'll never understand why people put up with such complete nonsense in relationships. You don't have to date him, you don't have to have sex with him, and you really don't have to tolerate his BS. And why would you even consider risking a pregnancy by having unprotected sex with a guy who very clearly has such issues about a possible pregnancy? What exactly do you think will happen if you do get pregnant? Will you live happily ever after or will he be even more of a jerk? Yeah, that's a great environment for a child to grow up in. You actually have the power here and the responsibility both to yourself and any potential children to do much better so instead of getting annoyed by his behavior why not examine your own behavior and choices and stop letting him do these things to you and just kick his sorry ass to the curb and find somebody better?

tl;dr do better and find someone better.

[Asker]

Yeah well I mean I can't get pregnant haha that's why his paranoia is annoying. But it's because his ex's lied and said the same thing.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Bingo! His ex traumatized him and punished him.

[Asker]

@KrakenAttackin I hate this crap. Even if he wasn't older I'm so tired of all these manipulative women that are crazy... and why men always choose them. They must be great master mind manipulators

[KrakenAttackin]

You are likely one of them.

[ejx629]

Yeah, his exes manipulated him but you're letting him manipulate you by putting up with his crazy. And then to top it off you're blaming the exes for the situation the two of you are in instead of taking responsibility for anything. If there's a problem in the relationship blame someone else. And people wonder why they're so unhappy. This is why men get away with so much crap: we know we won't get in trouble because women will always blame other women for everything. The exes, the mistress, his family members, etc. Sometimes BS like this makes me glad I'm asexual and don't date.

[bowenw]

He needs to grow up and figure out his priorities even though he's in his 40s. Does he care if you want to have children with him? It's probably time to sit down with him and find out what he really wants.

[Asker]

Yeah well he said definitely no. Then he said he was curious about what our kids would look like and when or if we had kids would come out of his mouth... but when I told him we briefly talked about it. He saw how much I was thinking about it and said he didn't realize I was how upset I was about it. He started to ask me about it more and felt bad. Sometimes I think it's how serious he takes me. But he did take the conversation seriously.. we just need to talk about it more deeply.

[bowenw]

It sounds like you are making some good progress. Keep talking about it. Communication is always the most important thing in a relationship. If he knows he can tell you anything the more he'll open up.

[Mikelaughs]

Sounds so difficult! How long have you been together with him?
Hmu to talk

[Asker]

9 months so far

[Mikelaughs]

Ok, tell me more about what's going on

[KrakenAttackin]

@mikelaughs. Don't be a thirsty beta.

[ChocoBrownieMonster]

this guy is a jackass, he doesn't accept responsibility and his partner left him and their kids behind probably for the exact same reason.

[Kabluie]

You can just insist he always wear a condom if it tires you out.

But to me I'd accept whatever we want together, unprotected is fine if it's mutual.

[TheFlak38]

stupid men exist.

[COMMODOREII]

Better to find a better boyfriend.

[KrakenAttackin]

He knows how women lie about using birth control and even sperm-jack used condoms. You can bet his prior ex's tried this

Men are hard wired to want to cum IN a woman which is why we are stupid sometimes.

[Asker]

Yeah but he throws the condom away and he knows I'm not on birth control. He also knows I don't want kids right now

[Asker]

Also ew lol

[KrakenAttackin]

Why are you not on birth control?

[Asker]

I have issues. Or should say have had issues. I don't get pregnant. And trust me I know. I'm not saying it's impossible but... I need to go get a check up and some things worked on if I want to have kids. I know it's not easy for me. Even though I'm young I noticed that I was very sexually active in my teen years and it never happened. I'm 24 and never NEVER had an actual pregnancy scare. I also have, like I said... lots of issues that need to be fixed if I want to have a healthy pregnancy or kid.

[KrakenAttackin]

You were very sexually active in your teens... wow. Another big reason he doesn't want to commit to you.

[Valnac]

First I would assume you are on birth control.
Second, I don’t have that problem, I don’t wear condoms, I have a vasectomy.

[Asker]

He talked about getting it but I'm assuming he's waiting since he keeps flip flopping and changing his mind. And no he's very aware I'm not on birth control. Very rarely he doesn't use a condom I'd say twice in the last month without one.

[Valnac]

It only takes one shot at the right time. You are taking a big chance.

[Waz2020]

Counseling

[Asker]

Yes.. for him lol in a lot of aspects.

[Waz2020]

You could also just dump him, life's too short to be drained of all your energy