Is he just afraid to say he isn’t attracted to me anymore?

[Anonymous]

The other night, I stayed the night with my boyfriend. Through out the day, we spent time together, went out and had fun and just ended the night together. When we first laid down, he chose to sleep on the other end of the bed, it didn’t bother me and in the middle of the night, he came to my side and slept next to me. We got up the next morning and for some reason he was just grouchy with me. He didn’t say GoodMorning or ask how he slept, he just started to lash out at me almost instantly and the bad thing is I wasn’t even fully awake. He wakes up pouting and huffing and says “This is why I don’t like sleeping with you at night sometimes. I would I rather go and be up under the next female. At least she would show me affection and get me hard from just touching me. You didn’t touch me all night.” And then finishes with “My d*** didn’t get hard all night and that’s bad because you’re a female which means being next to you should make that happen.” He literally made me feel so insecure and I don’t know what he wants from me. He fell asleep on the other end of the bed away from me so how could I have possibly touched him and when he did eventually come next to me, I was already deep in my sleep and usually guys get morning wood regardless of being touched or being turned on. It’s like he isn’t interested anymore and is just afraid of saying just that and insults me instead. Comparing me to other women. Like they’re attractive enough to arouse him and I’m not. I haven’t gained weight or anything. I keep myself up physically. I always smell good, keep up with my hygiene etc. I’m petite and small. I don’t know what’s wrong.

[CallMeDave]

I'm not sure what he's thinking but what you described sure doesn't sound good. There were a few things he said that I didn't like, but the worst might have been "I would I rather go and be up under the next female." That to me is just a horrible thing to say to one's girlfriend.

It seems that maybe he was upset about something before you got in bed if he stayed on the far opposite side. How does it normally go when you sleep together? Has he done that before or does he usually start out next to you right from the beginning?

Has he had any of these kinds of angry outbursts before? Unless there's something else that was going on that you didn't share, his reaction doesn't really make sense to me and in any case it seems very extreme.

If you don't often get to sleep together, I could understand him being frustrated that you didn't have sex, especially if you almost always do, but it doesn't sound like he was doing anything to try to make that happen if he went to the opposite side of the bed and didn't try to cuddle with you or do anything else to get something started, so it really doesn't seem reasonable for him to make those kind of comments to you.

[Cellestial]

He didn't mean he wasn't attracted to you, he rather wanted to say that you should have touch him and initiate sex. The way he chose to say that was so shitty though

[Asker]

But my thing is how would I know he wanted sex? We both literally fell asleep, if you’re sleep I’m not gonna assume you want sex I’m gonna assume you’re tired and if you wanted sex we Would have done something before laying down. I initiate but not when he’s asleep. It’s like he wanted me to go to sleep with his penis in my mouth or something. I don’t know what he expects when I’m asleep and he is too.

[Asker]

And the reason I considered it him no longer being attracted to me is because even if I didn’t touch him, when you’re around the person you like or love or lust whatever, you’re gonna get turned on regardless because you’re just attracted to them. Even I have gotten turned on just from being around him without him touching me at all.

[idkwattoputhere]

How long u been together