If you truly love someone should you not accept their kinks or fetishes?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just me but when I love I love hard and I love true. If I love a woman I do my absolute best to accept her as a whole and make her feel unconditionally loved. Call me crazy but I believe in sacrifice and tolerance, compromise... my girlfriend of over a year now used to be very willing to participate in many a sexual adventure. Suddenly she is hard against it and frequently says things to make me feel bad about myself for my desires. I'm kinky but not depraved... I have one fetish I'd consider niche or very rare. Everything else you can find casually referenced on risky tv shows... spanking, "water sports", ageplay etc. Kinky sure but very common.

Sex is NOT everything to me, not at all. I pride myself in not being shallow and not thinking with my other head as much as possible. But currently I'm being made to feel like some sort of disgusting monster for wanting to venture outside of "normal" sex practices. And the real kicker is that she has quite a few kinks of her own. Yet somehow sees no equality in that.

I don't know what to do here. I love this woman, I do. But is it not asking too much of me to try to completely rewire my sexuality for her? Then I feel indignant like why should I have to change myself? Shouldn't she accept me for who I am? If you don't love someone as they are then what is the point?

I'm very interested in what any of you out there will say. Especially the girls, if you were absolutely sure you were in love with a man but he was particularly kinky would that be a deal breaker?

Am I just too idealistic when it comes to love?

[slatyb]

DUMP HER. She lied initially about her acceptance. She was playing a long game to get you to commit. Be glad you aren’t married and she’s not pregnant. Go back and see if there were any signs you ignored in your excitement. Do not stay in a relationship with a known liar. It’s a slow form of suicide. Been there.

[slatyb]

As far as acceptance, I think kinks should be generally accepted as normal variation. But accepting and participating are separate things. I may accept someone’s interest in age play without wanting to be involved.

[Asker]

I don't know if I'd call her a liar as much as wishy washy as hell. I don't feel like she lied to me. She just has this attitude of everyone, especially me being her boyfriend, has to just accept whatever she says at any given moment. Even if not long after she changes her mind.

[slatyb]

"She just has this attitude of everyone, especially me being her boyfriend, has to just accept whatever she says at any given moment. Even if not long after she changes her mind." This is intolerable because you cannot trust anything she says. Her promises are worthless. She will say whatever she thinks will be most advantageous in the moment. DUMP HER or she will drag you with her to crazy town.

[Berethor]

Sounds desperate, I might agree to do some things, but there is shit that I would never do.

[Britney02]

Everyone has limits. "Love" isn't enough for most people to cross those limits.

[Asker]

I guess I just love differently then and that's , my curse. My love IS limitless.

[Britney02]

So if your girlfriend said she wanted to have a gangbang , you would be fine with that?

[Asker]

Also, I totally agree with that. But here's the thing. For one, she has already crossed those limits so to speak by already indulging me in EVERYTHING. Secondly, just earlier this year she said she accepted me.

[Asker]

Now you're just being pedantic. No, I would not initially be ok with that. But if that DID happen to be her fantasy then I would consider it. Just because not only in fairness of what she's done for me but because that's just how I am. She did express interest in some sort of pimp like fantasy where I'd pimp her out to other men. Wasn't crazy about the idea but I considered it. Because I feel like it's fair. I don't know. Just me. I can separate sex as just an act but it is very hard. But I can do it if absolutely necessary.

[TheLawAroundHere]

Yes, of course. Love has to be a 100% kind of deal.

[Anonymous]

I’m down for whatever. I love trying new things

[Asker]

That's refreshing. I have had other women outside of her like that. They just turned out to be unfaithful...

[Opinion Owner]

you only need to be faithful and committed to the person you with.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should accept them

[Asker]

That's how I feel too. Especially when I go out of my way to give back to in bed.