For the men. Why do men say girlfriends can't/won't do what pornstars do?

[BlkR0ses669]

I've been doing some searching about men's fantasies and porn. Almost every website and in person; I notice that when you ask guys why they watch porn tons of men keep saying it's because "I can fantasize or get off on the stuff girlfriend doesn't do." (Or can't)
That boggles my mind... because why can't your girlfriend/wife do what the pornstars do? I can watch porn and then do it. It seems like men simply just want to keep thier fantasies to themselves. If you have to watch porn to get off on what you like, (besides enjoying porn and getting off or seeing another woman) why not just tell your SO to do it or ask if they would be willing?
Like my SO wants anal. He stopped asking but he wants to just jump right in. Well my anus is full virgin and he's big... so if you want anal train me on it and we can do it. But he gave up.
Most fantasies men have that I know of are pretty simple. a lot of porn I watch/find is just a girl getting rammed lol or pleasured. But for men who watch porn more often... why not just come pleasure your SO who begs for it or is willing? I don't understand the mindset of those specific types of men.. it literally blows my mind that you have a chick around you 24/7 who really really wants it. But you would rather watch porn for a fantasy that you can make happen!

[bowenw]

In my experience many women are not into things that some guys fantasize about such as anal or swallowing cum. If the fantasies have been openly discussed and the partners are not into them, some guys will complain. Decent guys will understand and not pressure their partners. If these fantasies are deal breakers, the guys should move on. In most solid relationships compromises can be reached. For example if a woman is not comfortable swallowing cum, perhaps she's okay with having him cum in her mouth and letting it dribble out onto her boobs, the way many porn stars do. Alternately, instead of outright refusing, a woman may be willing to try something new at her own pace to see if it's pleasurable or not. Having said all this, some fantasies can be way out there and embarrassing to discuss. That could be anything from having an orgy with the neighbors, to parading you around the city streets naked with a dog leash, to having 10 women snowballing cum. Things that are outside the realm of possibility for most couples. For those kinds of things, offering to watch them in a porn movie together may satisfy the guy and build the relationship. Getting a guy to discuss those kinds of fantasies is likely a challenge, but if you persist, and tell him about your fantasies he may open up. If he doesn't, try to guessing some wild ideas to let him know you aren't a purist.

[BlkR0ses669]

I agree with that. But most women may know what thier husband's/boyfriends watch. And it's not extreme it's porn hub. mmlol what is wild or out there on that site? To me it's still pretty bland. Also it's not the 50s... maybe older couples are different. Or I guess some women REALLY ARE prudes. Swallowing is vanilla in my opinion. If he eats you out why can't you swallow him? He swallows you?

[bowenw]

You make excellent points. Why a guy still watches porn when he has a SO who is willing to try practically anything to please him is puzzling. Porn could simply be an escape, a way to have a life separate from the relationship, or be a supplement to his sex life. Of course, he could be a porn addict in which case he may benefit from counselling.

[TheorionMage]

It BEGINS WITH mutual shyness. Embarrassed to get your 'freak' on.
Worrying that by exposing that side of Oneself will disgust or scare off One's intimate companion.

Sometimes the 'unknown' or potential 'danger' is arousing... BUT, in the back of One's mind, ESPECIALLY in serious bondage, the thought crosses: "This COULD BE my LAST / FINAL experience!"
Once the gag and bonds are in use, what if they are SO 'enthusiastic' that they IGNORE your 'safe' word?

In situations involving a rented living space, the commensurate sounds become a liability.
Consider the dampening effect of a noisy downstairs neighbor doing "their civic duty" and calling the police to investigate. (BEEN there) A precocious nude nubile teen bound 'spread eagle' upon my canopied bed,
in my leased upstairs 'Mother-in-law' apt; as the Landlord's OWN luscious daughter, not much different in age, swam with her girlfriends in her family's outdoor backyard pool downstairs not 50 feet away.

COULD HAVE GOTTEN 'UGLY'! And then, there's the issue of maintaining ONE'S OWN self-control, mindful of the rarity of this such 'opportunity'... and, you WANT to 'do' her!!! In EVERY way possible!

[BlkR0ses669]

Yeah. That shouldn't happen if your trained and know what your doing though.

[simonqq]

Probably addicted. If there is any other reason it's stupidity.

I also don't think porn that is industry made is hot at all, if you see behind the scenes it's not sexy at all. I haven't heard what you're saying before but it sounds more like porn addiction than anything else. I watch porn (real amateur porn) but I'm also single and would cut down on it a lot if I had a girl.

[BlkR0ses669]

Yeah. It is one reason for sure. And I agree. The porn I watch is just home videos my SO likes the industry stuff. I've looked up how pornstars feel. They hate thier jobs and they photoshop!! I didn't know you could do that to a video

[simonqq]

Some of those companies are decent but the job is still several hours of fucking and it just doesn't feel good for anyone after a while. You can clearly see that the girls are just moaning because they are supposed to. Then there's the shit companies where you risk getting diseases and have even longer work hours and they pay is not that good. Many of these girls are encouraged to have surgeries on their vagina, implants and other plastic surgery. If you are interested you should look up "allgasnobreaks" on YouTube and look for the porn convention. The girls are all on drugs and it's just very sad. There are many problems in the industry and your boyfriend should be aware of it or be made aware of it.

[MCheetah]

"Why can't your girlfriend/wife do what the porn stars do?"

Because they won't. You're really over-thinking a very simple question here. How about "why won't women do things men ask them to from porn, even though men are willing to?"

It doesn't affect me personally, because I don't have a partner, and I don't watch porn. But everyone else I know does have partners, and likely does watch porn, as well.

[BlkR0ses669]

I could be... but honestly I've attempted and I think that men refuse to see the women they love do those things

[MCheetah]

Sounds like that only just applies to your life/experiences.

[Pete671]

Perhaps men aren't confident that they will match up to the sexual prowess of male porn actors, I'm not,,,
Unless it's a Femdomme/SPH/cuckold movie, I'd be ideal for that sort of role, I'd imagine a lot of guys with high sexual prowess wouldn't be comfortable with these type of scenes,,,

[Pete671]

I should confirm here that I don't match up to the sexual prowess of male porn actors, I'm not tall, I'm skinny, and have a small penis lol,,,

[BlkR0ses669]

Haha well for me I don't really care what the dick looks like tbh.. or the guy... that felt horrible saying that. Haha unless he's like 300 pounds lol

[CuriousMufuxka]

I've talked women (many moons ago) into some really nice forms of behavioral fornication! We read many books of jesus before finally covering ourselves in 3 blankets and I softly caressed her flower in the missionary position. Lol, really girlies want to do the fucked up things but need a little confidence by the man that's going to dick her!

[bklynbadboy1]

I think some guys don't understand how it works they think its like porn star like you can just do it they don't realize its a process

[BlkR0ses669]

I think the porn dumbs men down. Not to sound mean but.. myeah

[bklynbadboy1]

Its true it does

[Valnac]

I only watch porn when I’m not in a relationship.

[cootjuh]

I want to be pegged

[Anonymous]

"... why can't your girlfriend/wife do what the porn stars do? I can watch porn and then do it. It seems like men simply just want to keep their fantasies to themselves."

Good question... why won't so many girlfriends / wives just do what porn stars do? It's not because most guys don't want them to and ask them to, that's for sure. You seem to be suggesting men don't get what they want from their women because they don't ask for it. I'm sure that happens but it's uncommon. Women are constantly complaining about their men asking them to do things they see in porn. I think that's your real problem here.

[Anonymous]

This question made me laugh. You seem to be pretty naïve about what most women are, or more often aren't, willing to do.

Just as an example, do a search on GAG about anal and read the responses from female users. You'll find that the majority of them are not willing to do it, period. Some are, but most of those will say they dislike it and are only willing to do it occasionally. There are very few women who actually enjoy anal and are willing to do it regularly and in the way porn starts do in porn. Most men who want to do anal with their girlfriends or wives live a life of perpetual sexual frustration. I am one of the lucky few men who is married to a woman who actually enjoys anal and is willing to do it whenever I want to.

If most women were willing and able to do the things for their men that they see in porn, you would rarely see men complaining about not getting what they want. Your attitude about learning how to do anal, and being willing to, is commendable. I wish more women were like you in that respect. But the fact is they are not, and you perspective on this question is backwards.

[BlkR0ses669]

It's not naive it's me being a awesome girlfriend haha. And I know that for the anal most men say "just let me shove it in" Im experienced... and a lot of men on my list have said that rather than thinking with common sense let's try anal together. Let's make it feel good for you!

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not sure whether you didn't read what I wrote or the message went over your head. In any case, good for you for being an awesome girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Because if the rest of the relationship is good the guy is afraid to rock the boat by bringing up something she maybe offered by.

But if he's able to be honest about his fantasies without her being offended, even if she says no, that's at least a good thing.

[BlkR0ses669]

Hmmm i agree.

[Anonymous]

I think it's situational and could be one or more of the following (just my opinion as I'm not one of these guys lol)...

- Guys too afraid to share their fantasy with girlfriend
- Girlfriend isn't as open minded as you, or in this situation, example the anal, he's into it she's not
- ties in with the top two, COMMUNICATION! This is so bad in a lot of relationships, especially when it comes to sex. Just look at the questions asked on this site for example.
- "Forbidden" or naughty (example step sister/brother porn)
- this kind of ties it with the last, but maybe it's just a fantasy and not one they necessarily want to "act on"? Like the step sister/brother example, that fantasy can be hot and a turn on, but would you actually have sex with a step brother or sister, no lol.
- and of the few where this doesn't apply, and they actually just prefer porn over girlfriend, I think they may either have a porn addiction, and/or are not all that into their girlfriend maybe physically? I can't imagine any other reason myself as I'd ALWAYS have and pick sex with a woman over watching porn.

[Opinion Owner]

Unless she isn't available at the time, that's a reason as well. Like when he feels horny, he wants something done about it right then, not later. Like if she wasn't there (at work say) and she'd be home later to have sex, well he's not going to wait lol. He's horny now! Which actually reminds me of one more reason, work and/or time! With porn, he only has to worry about himself and it can be quicker as well. He can quickly masturbate and be done, where with girlfriend, he has to worry about her as well.