Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I don't know why I'm Soo shy/embarrassed to. ask for things and to talk about sexual things?

I recently lost my v card back in October and when it first happened it didn't hurt or anything like that but it just felt strange I was embarrassed at the start of it because he didn't even need to touch me for long and I was already soaking wet and he felt it and said d*mn why are you so wet. I was already embarrassed bc I was Soo insecure about my body and he was breathing so hard and actually being vocal and that turned me on more, I was so wet to the point it kept slipping out but the first like 4 times it felt strange then started to get better I just couldn't cum and still can't cum during sex and I want to be able to i don't know why I can't we also do it in the dark because I don't want him seeing my body or the faces I make. but I want some things I just don't know how to openly ask for it like I want head I just don't know how to ask I also want some hickeys I'm just really having trouble with asking but when he wants something he just bluntly asks for it and I want to be like that.
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • Don't be hard on yourself. All bodies are beautiful. He obviously thinks yours is. Try not to overthink sex. Be yourself, have fun, and try to relax. The sex will get better the more you do it and the more you get comfortable with your partner. I doubt he cares how wet you are, but if it's bothering you have a tissue or towel handy and tell him he turns you on so much that you're extra wet. To make your desires known, consider watching porn together and tell him what positions you would and wouldn't like to try as you see them on screen. Try to find a movie that includes a wide variety of positions and techniques. If a porn isn't your thing, do the same with a sex manual such as The Joy of Sex. Alternately buy a sex position game such as SEX from a sex shop or Amazon. com. If you prefer sex with the lights off, just turn them down or off without asking permission. If you want him to eat you, get some Pussy Licker lube and leave it out for him. If you're still having trouble cumming, make yourself cum with your fingers during intercourse. If he asks what you're doing, tell him he's making you feel so good that you lost control.

    • These are good tips! Thank you but like I have another small problem like when I'm in the mood I won't tell him I want to do it and when he asks me if I want to I say no even tho I really want to and sometimes I think about just going for it but I hold back because I don't want him to think I'm weird also after we do it theirs this kinda awkward ness like he'll just he looking at me and I'm always like I'm going to the bathroom I'll he back then I just sit their for a second and I go back in the room and avoid eye contact also when I'm wet and he tries to put it in, it starts to hurt when he's pushing it in but then after it's fine and doesn't hurt anymore

    • If you have trouble asking him for sex, try other things that will lead to sex such as cuddling and kissing. If he asks if you want to have sex and you have trouble telling him yes, don't say anything. Just start hugging, kissing, touching, and moving onto sex. You could also be very playful and ask him what he has in mind to give yourself some time while he answers to gather your courage and say yes, or just start in. If you feel awkward after sex because he looking at you, remember he's probably in awe of how awesome the sex was. If you can't think of anything to say, kiss him and tell him you have to pee. I find it's normal to have to pee afterwards anyway. The awkwardness you are feeling should go away after you get to know each other better. If it doesn't, discuss it with your doctor. The pain you are having during penetration should disappear over time. If it doesn't, you should see a gynecologist to discuss the pain and any other issues related to sex that are bothering you such as being a little too wet.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to love your body, and show confidence.
    You want it dark so he can’t see your facial expressions.
    That’s part of the pleasure a man and a woman share, try using candles.
    You are an adult woman, act like it.
    If you want something, just say it. He will listen.
    That’s the only way you will get any pleasure.
    Be confident!

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?

What Girls & Guys Said

1 9

  • You have to become comfortable both with him and yourself.

    Do you trust him enough to risk embarrassment around him?

    • I get embarrassed around him all the time because my brother me and him and my best friend were in my room chilling and my brother mentions that I have a special "toy" in my top drawer how he found out who in the heck knows but he was trying to show them and I kept shutting the drawer but then the guy stood up and held me back so I couldn't stop my brother and then when I saw it I ran out of the room and locked myself in my dad's room since he was out of town and the guy came out tried talking to me about it I didn't wanna hear it I was humiliated and shut the door and eventually I came out of the room my best friend was trying to say I didn't have to be embarrassed I cut her off and said I'm fine and she tried to hug me and I pushed her away then she went back in my room and then the guy dragged me outside and held me so I couldn't get away from him and was like your fine it's normal theirs nothing to be embarrassed about and then he gave me a hug and I went back inside and tried to forget about it.

    • Neither of you sound too mature. When you see him as a dependable loving person you'll be less embarrassed around him

  • If you want head, don't ask - tell him. Or better yet, grab his head and shove it between your legs and tell him to start eating.

    • I'm not that bold I wish I was

    • If you want something, you have to be bold. I'm sure your lover is not going to deny you physical pleasure.

  • Well, it sounds like it should have been great for the guy because of how wet you were. Really, you just need to express what you want him to do during sex. A good guy will listen. All you have to do is say "can you go down on me" and hopefully he says yes, if no, well then you should try to find a new boyfriend.

  • It you can tell, then show. Guide him along to what you want physically.

    • Can't *

  • Just keep having sex with him and you'll feel less and less shy and comfortable enough to start asking for more daring stuff. It all comes with practice

  • If he asks for head from you, just say "you first" with a cheeky smile, you don't have to ask, just insinuate, just say in some metaphorical terms subtly.

    When you kiss and then slowly stop, aim his head and directed it towards your neck, that should hopefully get the hicky going.

  • I think the reason you can't cum is because you're to worried about him seeing you. Don't be embarrassed. Enjoy it, have fun with it. Only way to get over your fear is to start doing it. Just tell yourself fuck it who cares what he thinks. I promise you he will love it when you do.

  • try praise, a lot of requests can slip out pretty easily if you are vocal about what your partner is doing right.

  • Yeah trust me as a guy who is into having his butt played with by girls if you don't ask for what you want you will always be disappointed

  • It'll get better in time. don't worry.

Latest Questions

Sexually frustrated, am I in the wrong?
I caught my girlfriend reading erotica on her ipad -- should I be concerned?
How to stop feeling self conscious about my butt?
Girls- Do you like to swallow a guys cum or is it nasty?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I don't know why I'm Soo shy/embarrassed to. ask for things and to talk about sexual things?