My girlfriend and I hardly have sex, and when we do I get to finish if I'm quick enough. What should I do?

[Mattyjay]

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 years (we both are 25 this year). And It has been a relatively easy relationship, as in we have had comfortable 7 years together with not many major fights or arguments and still enjoy each others company immensely. But over the last couple of years there has been a noticeable drop in the amount we would have sex. Once was daily, and now every 2/3 weeks if lucky. Obviously any relationship in it for the long haul will at some point experience somewhat of a 'lull'. But I am getting to a point where I just feel that my basic needs as a young guy just aren't being met. And I feel terrible in saying, but have noticed an increase in how much I fantasize about other girls. I would never pursue feelings for anyone else, especially as I realize these are purely hormonal urges, and once relieved will not have the same urges for a while I have tried to discuss this on a few occasions, and my girlfriend tells me that it's entirely to do with her dosage of Antidepressants as they have often have an inverse effect on hormones and that she is working on cutting down the dosage. But this conversation has carried on for a couple of years with no signs of getting better, even though my girlfriend assures me that she feels she is progressing and it takes time. But it's not only the lack of intimacy, when we do actually get around to business, I will often be told after 10 minutes that It's 'Too much' and that we must stop. It tends to go the same way, where I will suggest we take a breather for a second and change position to something less intense. But no, as once she has decided it was 'too much' it's then over, and I am expected to calm myself down and continue on with my day. I really love this girl, and cannot imagine my life without her in it. I don't ever want to hurt her and I feel that if we keep going down this path, I don't know if I would be able to control these urges forever and would inevitably lead to a breakup later

[PrudentGuy]

If its due to antidepressants, then I regret to say, there is nothing much you can do.

Yet I understand, for I too am a guy, that this brings almost no comfort; and it obviously resolve not the high libido we have.

Another "illegal" way i had attempted was to tell her to stop her antidepressants, and then use me as her confidant.

Yes, I promised to give her a listening ear to listen to whatever she want to complain; and then do work out together; and then enjoy good food together.

Yes, the principle is to help her overcome her depressed mind through companionship and exercise.

I know I'm no medical personnel hence my "advice" to her is illegal.

But in private, if she is able to learn to cope with such activities, she will have her libido restored and with more sex, she will feel less depressed.

Ya. I tried tjis method with my SO and myself. We're free from chemicals for over 8 years already. And our sex drive is normal, or haha... over drive.

PS: this is NOT a medical advise and using it may lead to serious consequences. Please be cautious.

[SueShe]

That is the unfortunate consequence of the lack of libido control.

You can remedy to that control by adapting your diet to a number of foods that reduce substantially your libido. Combine that diet with a number of yoga exercises and meditation. In addition, tiring your body out with exercise and sports further reduces the need to be intimate.

This is an excellent combination and that should help you get over your urges. Once you are passed those needs, you can have a stress free relation because sex will not be an issue anymore and you can concentrate on the real important things in life and in your relation. Good luck.

[Avicenna]

Have you discussed this with her?

[Mattyjay]

Not quite as directly as I have put forth in the question. Previous efforts to bring the topic up has resulted in acknowledging no further than the fact that anti depressants are the root cause and therefore there's no immediate resolve, and the topic would change to something more pleasant. I think because our relationship has never really built on the intimacy aspect, so she may not perceive that aspect of the relationship to be as important as other areas, and I am now only starting to realise how important regular intimacy is

[Iron_Man]

Get married

[In_Trance]

yes it would. Break up now