Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Guys, if you just see a woman as someone to have sex with (early on) does that mean you don't really respect her regardless of what you say?

This guy, within a month of knowing, sort of propositioned by implying he was good in bed & had had flings, etc.

It was a wth moment because for
a) I don't act/dress provocatively so I gave no indication I'd even entertain the idea of sex with a relative stranger,
b) being a relatively confident woman I don't come across as someone who'd trade sex for don't know how to refer to it except "favours" (e. g. he puts in good word with a business owner he may know as a generic/basic example).
c) given a & b as I believe he's in a relation - and just looking for a casual hookup (seeing as he mentioned flings) - I'd be even less interested

I found it mildly offensive. So that when he tried winning favor it just didn't really hit any I don't know "key"/"interest".
No, Don't Really Respect Her
Vote A
Yes, Could Really Respect Her - Just Thinking with Dick not Head
Vote B
Other
Vote C
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+1 y
Okay so he only mentioned this sexual bit once. And then tried to curry favour. But due to the nature of his commentary my "back was up" and he didn't really do himself any good until later on when made very obvious (a friend said he really, really likes you as example).
+1 y
I see a lot of guys are mentioning respect. This guy is to my knowledge in a relationship so how's he being respectful? To myself or his possible woman
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think that seeing someone as only to sex doesn't mean he doesn't respect you. The issue is that most guys when meeting a woman they instantly decided the person they see you as, just as sex, just as a friend, or someone they would like to pursue, yes they will treat each one differently but not in a sense of disrespect, more in a sense of circumstances (this could change over time). Therefore them seeing you as just sex does not mean they don't respect you, I also understand that you don't give off these indications of wanting sex, honestly, you don't have to give off any vibe, each person sees each individual differently.

    Also understand I am answering this in the context given solely off the idea of "respecting" due to seeing someone as just sex. NOW to mention about the guy already being in a relationship already changes the entire situation, that is a case by case situation. He is clearly not being respectful to you, to him, and especially to his significant other and he is completely wrong for that!

  • Ok wait... he was intimating to you that he's good in bed and has had flings before WHILE he's in a relationship with someone else? If that's the case, forget respecting you or his girlfriend, he's feeling you out for sex.

    Alternatively, if you're both single and a month into knowing each other, it doesn't make sense that he'd mention having flings. All in all, this guy doesn't sound like a catch. Cut bait and throw him back.

    • That's the funny bit as I give no indication (by behavior or dress) I'd be interested in causal sex. He is in a rather poor relationship (kids are why he's staying to my knowledge). Not saying it's an excuse. If he were interested he could have broached the idea of pursuing a potential relationship (dumping the girlfriend) later once know one another.

    • With all the men to choose from in the world, he doesn't sound worth your time.

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What Guys Said

(35)

  • This idea that having sex with someone is disrespectful, it’s a very sex negative view.
    I have a very different perspective, we are having sex with someone is a way of showing them respect, that they are attractive and have value. Even someone that I’m just having sex with, and not really interested in having a relationship, it is still a way of being intimate with her. People who see sex as an act of disrespect, a dirty thing, something that degrades or demeans person, I don’t really relate to.

    • You missed that he's in a relationship then

    • ROFL. And wherever did I say sex is dirty, etc. It's the lack of respect Inn he's already involved with someone

  • Your poll is easy, your details... Are not.

    He could be an abuser disguised as a player, he could have terrible self-image, he could be so intimidated by you he doesn't know what to say and is seeing if any line will work...

    Now that I read all those possibilities it could be all those at once...

    So, no idea at all, unless there is more you can tell us! 🤷

  • I see some girls as potential for sex early on, that doesn't mean I dont respect them. I also don't want to treat them badly. I still want the best experience for both of us. Even a one night stand should ideally be a win win.

  • Hell I want to have sex with pretty much every girl I find attractive. But I don’t want to date every girl I find attractive. It’s two different things. That’s just me. If you’re cute, I want to take you home. I’m not saying I do, I’m no pimp playa. But that’s how I feel. Cute girl = me want sex, me bring big club and drag to cave, make snoo snoo.


    That’s all there is to it. For me it doesn’t say anything about who you are. I just like your face or your body or maybe you have a cute personality and I just want to take you home and so bad things to you. There’s different reasons why I might feel like I want a girl to take home and have fun with. But obviously I can’t date every girl and marry every girl. I just wish I could have them all like Pokémon I suppose. I don’t know how other guys think or feel, that’s just me being honest lol.

  • I myself, have a lot of respect for all women.
    I appreciate women and kind of understand what you deal with. I am empathetic to your gender.
    So yes, I see "sex", but that is just a small part of the whole picture I see.

  • That is not a nice way to be chatted up Its more a proposition If I was a girl and spoke to me like that I'd get up put my arms around him and knee him for thinking that way about me

  • Have you considered another option? Men are expected to be stoic, icy and without weakness. We grow up to feel that way because we are denied an opportunity to be boys when we are young. Girls do not have that pressure and are not forced to act that way. This is why girls grow up to be adults who are not afraid to show their emotions!
    During puberty boys learn that our emotions run wild when we cum. Sex for us becomes an opportunity to feel emotional joined the fleeting moments immediately following the ejaculation.
    Could it be that we see women as symbols of emotional freedom and the sex as an opportunity to get close to you and have a chance to let our emotions run wild in those wonderful moments we are together.

    • I said he's likely in a relation. If he wants to get his rocks off he's a woman already for that.

  • Every guy get attracted to a gorgeous woman and that's how it meant to be otherwise all humanity will cease to exist.
    It doesn't mean he doesn't respect her. To truly respect a woman from heart any specific have to understand her from inside. And in generally every educated man respect a woman, and exceptions are always there. We got evil on the earth on face of man and woman too. So, I hope you get me !

  • Me personally speaking I can look at women I find attractive and think, yeah I would have sex with her. However what makes the difference is how well the chemistry is between us.

    I have had one night stands in the past and haven't felt anything for them, but that didn't mean I didn't respect them. My respect is equal to the amount I get in return. If you have basic manners, I will be fine with you and I enjoy my time with you, then I am fine with it.

    In this case with this guy, it sounds more like a guy that wanted to cheat because he wanted to have sex. So him in particular, probably doesn't have respect for you, much less his girlfriend.

  • I'd respect somebody regardless of relationship; whether with friends with benefits, just friends, or romantic partners, I'd respect them all.

    When I do see someone as somebody I would want to have sex with rather than a romantic partner, I'd tend to try and convey that subtly but get progressively more and more clear on that, either to ease it into or to segway into that idea, but mostly on the fact I can't just straight up say that or else I'd get accused of sexual harassment (and that's a huge hassle and drag, I don't wanna harass people in any case). If I do feel as if I am leading you on in any way I would probably make it clear very quickly, though.

    But to say I have no respect for somebody because of sexual wants is flat out wrong, at least in my case. Can't say the same for others, but personally I'd have respect for other people, and if they say no then no, that's that. How ever the relationship or friendship would continue, that's a case by case basis, but I mostly wanna have it go off on a positive or at least neutral note.

    Hopefully I answered your question well.

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Guys, if you just see a woman as someone to have sex with (early on) does that mean you don't really respect her regardless of what you say?