Do you get really nervous when you’re about to have sex with someone new?

[Anonymous]

Well, it has been a while now - my girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade and have three children. (We decided that we did not want to be married because we like the naturalness of what we have and did not want all the flash and ceremony and suppositions that come with a wedding and marriage.) We are monogamous - although in our very early years we went through what we call, in retrospect, our "wild and crazy days."

However, even when I was younger I don't really recall being nervous in the sense that you think of it. Eager and excited - in both senses of the latter, of course - but not really excited. (Of course, if I was drunk - which happened a few times - then nerves were not in it at all.)

Two exceptions: When I lost my virginity in high school at age 16. My girlfriend was 15 and for THAT I was nervous.

It was a funny thing. The things that go through a 16 year old guy's head. You think to yourself - "I'm a man!!!" You also think that you have never been more in love and you are sure that she is the girl you will marry, have babies with, and be together in a house in the suburbs for the rest of your life.

You want to do it "right." So starting off you get butterflies in the stomach and you are a bit shaky and not sure where to put your hands and a little shy about being naked with a girl. Yet it all seems to go by as you get into it and you think - "This is the best thing ever!!"

Then you go around for about a week thinking you are the greatest sex god that ever lived and no one is more mature and hotter than you are. Then the thought hits - "Oh my god!! What if I got her pregnant!!!" (This especially if you don't use - as we did not - any protection.)

Then you are pretty sure you are living on the edge of a cliff and you spend two or three weeks asking your girlfriend - until she gets really sick of hearing it - "Did you have IT, yet?" IT being her period.

Luckily in our case, she was not pregnant and we went on to date - and have sex (mostly with condoms) until my sophomore year - her freshman year - in college. No nerves after that!

The only other case I remember being nervous was the first time I had sex with the woman I love and who has given me three beautiful little gifts who call me "Daddy." That being somewhat unusual.

The jist of it being that I had been in a relationship with a woman I thought I was in love with. She got pregnant and aborted my baby without telling me. It all but destroyed me and for a long time I drank too much and steered clear of women until I met, at a business reception for my boss, this gorgeous woman with a beautiful smile and the prettiest eyes I had ever seen.

It took a long time - about 4 months - before I even realized that she liked me. Then it took me another month to ask her out. It was a year and a half before we had sex - somewhat unusual for me given that I tended to be easy going about sex - such that when we finally did my by that point confirmed girlfriend later said, "I wondered if we were ever going to do it."

That first time I will never forget. Yup, it sounds cliche, but I thought I was in heaven. All I knew was that I wanted and needed her and when we started to have sex - it was not really something we had planned before the moment - I was nervous as a cat. I just wanted everything to be so right and the best she had ever felt.

Flash forward - a few days later I rather sheepishly admitted that I, the suave experienced guy, had been super nervous that night. I told her how I had wanted it to be the best sex she had ever had.

No joke - and again, I know it sounds so cliche, but I can get sworn testimony to confirm it. She just smiled at me. kind of rolled her eyes in that sweet way that she does when she thinks I am being silly, and said, "It was - because it was with you."

Just for the record - I love her so much. Always will. Best thing that ever happened to me.

[Titanic1912]

I got a little nervous before I was about to strip naked with my girlfriend. We went to her bathroom, shut the door, locked it and started kissing each other while we pulled each other’s clothes off. After I unsnapped her bra and pulled her panties off, she pulled off my undies and watched my penis get a huge erection. Then we naked hugged and I fingered her vagina. Then she told me to wash her vagina with soap and a sponge. After that, she gave me a handjob and she allowed me to cum on her boobs. After that, I washed her boobs with my cum. Then we put our pants and underwear back on. We took some topless photos of ourselves. I cupped her boobs from behind and then we put our clothes back on.

[Puppystarfish23]

I've only had sex with one man my boyfriend and i wouldn't say I was nervous because id gotten to know him and feel comfortable around him before having sex. It was more awkward but sweet the first time

[Billie_]

Initially yes because I have no idea what the other person likes or what feels good for them. But you just have to go for it otherwise they won't come back for seconds lol.

[Novacane]

It depends on the feeling is with that person. Sometimes it can make things easier or tenser. Overall you will always feel some kind of nervousness when engaging in sex with someone new, but that hardest part is always just starting, once that is over you will go with the flow.

[Makeushiver]

Not nervous but the butterflies in my stomach are definitely active. The two things that make them very active is seeing a woman wearing only a light muslin throw and when backlit you can see the beautiful silhouette of her legs coming together at her torso. The other thing that does it is the first time I reach between her legs and she is totally slick and wet

[Finchie40]

For me to have sex with a girl I need to have feelings and great chemistry , the first time with someone new does raise some question marks on whether they like you naked or like my Dick size etc. Or comparing me to someone else just stupid questions that pop in my head during the time. but it doesn’t stop me , so if we have sex again after that then it’s way better cuz I pretty much answered all those questions if she is coming back for more lol

[Drumlin2001]

Personally yes. I was a late bloomer, always had hangs ups about weight, endownment, lack of experience. Been with girlfriend for over 2 years now. If i were single think i would be more confident but still nervous on first few times.

[triff]

I do I always want to make a partner to feel lost in the moment Making sure she is fully satisfied and feeling wonderfully relaxed This is what scares me Will I fail them Hence I get nervous

[Girther10]

Absolutely not I have plenty of experience and confidence it doesn’t matter who I have sex with I always please them first and I know they are appreciative of that

[DocT1977]

When I did date and we got to the appropriate stage of the relationship, I would go down on these girls and do all kinds of other kinky things and that got me in the mood, no problem.

[jamesgoldman]

I probably would have been if given the opportunity... the situations came about so quickly I didn't have the chance to react before the acts were underway

[MLGbreezy]

Ehhh it depends on the person if it's a random person I absolutely don't know then yes I'll be a little bit bit nervous. But if it's someone I've been talking to not so much cause we've established a certain level of trust by that point.

[genericname85]

they are so used to be told "no", they aren't even prepared for a girl that actually says yes xD

i like comparing it with a dog chasing the milkman. you think the dog has any idea what he's supposed to do in case he actually gets him?

[Dargil]

When I was with someone new, I got some performance anxiety. I solved it by becoming expert at fingering and oral.

[Tinkytiny3]

For me its cuz I never know how its gonna go.. can like a guy all I want but if our bodies dont go well together can be a total deal breaker for me.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Absolutely. I get really nervous the first few times

[PushOrganic]

I find it really interest that more guys responded yes than girls did

[LeoElias]

Depends on how I feel about her.
I noticed a lot of the older guys on here have the creepiest answers. So fucking cringing.

[007kingifrit]

nah, by that point all the hard work is over and i can let my large dick and energetic and selfless lovemaking do the talking

[Alpha09]

Depends, if we vibe really well and it's not awkward I don't really. But if there's a bit of uncertainty than yes.

[Anonymous]

What does online desperacy got to do with it... there's pressure on guys coz women have vibrators thar csn power a small tien then blame guys being unable to make that hole your vibrators/dildos dug, leak.

[Anonymous]

No I don't get nervous but am usually really excited to do someone new.

[Pete671]

Yes if she doesn't know the size of my penis, otherwise I would be reassured,,,