How to stop comparing myself to other men who are better with women?

[Bigman117]

I'm 23 and I'm on the path of self-improvement where I want to be better at socializing (even though it's tough with the pandemic), I'm working out, I work, I have goals, I quit blaming other people for my problems, stress less, quit watching porn etc. Although I still have the tendency to compare myself to other men who are better at talking and having women like them. I don't really like online dating because of the way it's not really authentic when it comes to personality. I feel like I'm not like other men who are confident with women, tall (I'm 5'6), funny (making women laugh), and I've had sex once and I lost my virginity at 22 while other guys I know slept with mulitple women. Even though I've had two girlfriends before in my life I still feel like I'm not good enough compared to other guys. How to stop thinking like this and not compare myself to other men?

[ShadezMcgee]

You need to improve your mindset man. I can relate to your post a lot since I am still going through this on my end.

The first thing is to love yourself first. Once you treat yourself like you would another loved one and best friend, you will improve your overall mindset and mentality which is key. Stop caring about what other people think and having expectations. You will set yourself free of limitations.

The next step is to invest in great friendships, find good male role models and mentors to help you cultivate your path as a man. Cut out the toxic friends and relationships in your life. Get a good career and save your money. Become a master of your chosen profession. Travel, have great hobbies.

Doing this will help you with the ultimate key. Mastery of yourself, your worth, values and boundaries. Once all of that is established and you talk the talk and walk the walk, the right women will flock to you over time. You are young, focus on yourself and your goals first before anything with women. That's not to say not indulge and have fun here and there when women come, but don't make them your priority. They should be a complement to your badass life.

[PrudentGuy]

Mixing with and comparing with guys "better" is not necessarily bad PROVIDED we can figure out what makes them "better" and able to emulate their skills.

But nothing beats trial and error. True, failures are hard to bear, especially in relationship. But this is the best way to learn about women and understand what they really want.

There is a "threshold", an "escape velocity" so to speak, where you suddenly become a women's guy; and out of a sudden, women just flock to you.

Hence, don't be afraid of rejection. Keep trying and learn from failures. When you "know women", they will suddenly become yours. Nature. 😁

[AltaCalif]

Stop wasting your time on reddit or other crap like 4chan or whatever.

Be a wave dude and relax, but be strong like an oak. Women, not just them but people, don't like guys who think like this. Don't think. Just do. Don't think and be yourself, Ok? You like to suck toes for breakfast? Cool, make it so that people would know that you're the baddest toe sucker in the wild west!! Or whatever you like. Ok? Go big or go home

[Marco10]

I think the mindset that you should adopt is this, “I don’t chase anyone. I work on myself, trust the process, and everything will fall into place.” You seem like you already found the right path. If you have a job, you work out, you have something that you’re passionate about, you’re put together, you treat all people with respect, you’re comfortable in your own skin, then you’re on top of the world. In short, attracting women isn’t something that we do consciously. It’s something that just happens after a period of time that we, men, spend working on ourselves. I can recommend a YouTube channel for you and I’ll link it down below.
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCU_W0oE_ock8bWKjALiGs8Q

Good luck man! Keep your head up

[Anonymous]

Befriend more LGBT people. They're cool, they have more nuanced ideas of masculinity, and you'll be more readily accepted as long as you're sincere and willing to keep an open mind