Why does him losing his erection make me feel so inadequate?

Feel like I can’t turn my man on. He was having trouble getting it and I knew I should just stop but he kept kissing me. And of course as soon as he got it he lost it. What else could we do besides viagra? It takes too long and we have to plan it
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  • If viagra isn’t working then bottom line he has something else going on , , ED is very common these days for guys from the shit they put in foods or stress etc... their are so many things that can make a guy go limp , so don’t blame yourself completely , 95 percent of the time it’s something to do with him , it can be mentally or it could be an underlying Health condition , but if he has a lot on his mind mentally then maybe you could be a part of that , have you both been on good terms or have you been arguing lately? Said something to him out of anger that stabbed a knife in his side , does he have any resentments towards you that you haven’t really solved that you just buried away? Do you make him feel insecure , have you said any mean things targeting the way he looks? Again mentally can easily mess up a guy , Girls have a tendencies to saying harsh shit. To their men without realizing they are doing it But as I recall you been having this issue with him for quite awhile now. So to me it sounds like a health condition, How is his diet? Tell him to start taking Vitamins every day , his Testosterone levels might be very low Does he Wake up with morning wood? If not then that’s a sign he has low testosterone. Does he drink alcohol , or smoke weed smoke cigarettes? Buy him some Horny Goat weed , Have him eat Pumpkin seeds and Watermelon , I do recommend pumpkin seeds lol They are like a natural viagra lol So before you start blaming yourself try these solutions first , if that doesn’t work then have him go to the doctor , my friend went through this with his wife and she felt the same way you do , she was at a point where she was going to cheat on him and get laid from someone else , She tried coming on to me which is a whole other story , But the reason I know so much about this is cuz I have tried helping my friend when he confessed to me what was going on So again before you make any drastic crazy moves like her. Help your husband out , Again most likely it isn’t anything to do with you , For a guy the get an erection he has to be able to have good blood flow it sounds like your husband has a blockage , even though his mind is triggering that he wants to have sex with you the signal from his brain to his penis isn’t connecting to send the blood flow that way , he needs to feel relaxed have him lay on his back and give him a bunch of foreplay don’t get frustrated , slowly kiss his body and make him feel relaxed touch softly touch his Dick lick it and say sexy things to him because , if you are pressuring him to fuck you that can cause him to go limp as well because they are overthinking , so if he isn’t comfortable then good luck trying
    To get a hard on

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've had issues with this in the past. All I needed was a single session with a sexual health therapist who basically went through everything and gave me some exercises to do everyday for a month then try again. Every now and then I have these issues still, but it's maybe once 50 times I have sex, instead of every time.

    But mainly, he should stop watching porn entirely, that's what helped me the most. I'm not some porn hating Karen, I'm talking from my experience with ED.

    I highly recommend he sees a sexual health therapist on his own, that way he can truly open up about whats going on because if he's anything like me he'll be feeling really shit about it all as well, probably way worse than he gives off and way worse than you feel. Each time it happens the higher chance it'll happen again, get professional help :) good luck

    • I don’t believe he watches porn. He will never agree to see someone. I had to beg to get him to go for viagra

    • Honestly I think the viagra is a bad decision. Viagra doesn't solve the problem it just fixes one symptom. Honestly I think the only chances of actually fixing it is seeing professional help. Either way there is something wrong and he needs help. But in the nicest way, this isn't about you, you shouldn't be forcing him to take a drug he doesn't want to, it's about him and his mental health

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 45
  • Then go with Cialis, it can last for 36 hours.

  • @jesslin412 Don't EVER assume it is you, OK? There are so many things that affect a guy's ability to get hard, and 99% of them, are not you, as the BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!! SERIOUSLY!!
    I'm a bit older now, and I have been SOOOOO in love with the last two ladies, but I'm in my head, and LOVING WHO they are, and not thinking 'sex' because I just started loving being super close, and cuddling, and being together, kissing, and just loving being together!!
    So many women complain that men only want sex, so I spent some time, researching that, and thinking, and with one I was with, and I found that most of the time, I really just want to be with her, close with her, sharing things we like, and not having this 'NEED SEX' crap!! It's not that she isn't INCREDIBLE, it's just that being close, cuddling, and intimate, is so much better that just carnal sex!
    Well, sometimes in the morning, it has other ideas, that I don't always share! LOL!!

  • Short of viagra, concrete on foreplay to get him there. He needs to relax. Set up some candles and music. Maybe get some strawberries and whip cream. Focus on a great BJ and handjob while he plays with you to get both ready. Then hop on and ride. Lube helps too.

  • It's not you. You are young. How old is he? This is rarely a physical problem in men under 50. More likely it's caused by anxiety, and the more he worries about it the more it will happen.-

  • Have you talked with him about it. There are SO MANY things that can affect our erection, you are just 1 out of like a million possibilities. Seriously. The chances of it being you, is slim. I can understand how you feel that way, but you women aren't the sole cause of our erections. It can be anything from diet, to stress, to distraction (too much on his mind maybe?), it can even just be that particular day and our body doing what it wants to do (I've lost mine before and there's been absolutely no "reason" at all for it). However in this case, it sounds like a regular ongoing problem, and maybe he has some kind of medical issue? I'd try and convince him to see a doctor. Nothing to be embarrassed about. And that's another thing, medications. And he takes regularly? That could affect it also.

  • sometimes you've gotta put a finger in the ass. it's rare, but maybe he'll like it

  • How old is he? How old are you? And how long have you been together?

    • He’s 32 I’m 25 and we’ve been together 3 years. Only started having sex 1.5 years ago.

    • At age 32 he should be fighting like Mike Tyson in the bedroom. If you don't have kids now is a very serious time to talk about what your ideal sex life will be like, because contrary to what magazines and TV tell you sex is more important than almost anything in a relationship. sex is the glue that holds you together period you love your mom you love your dad you love your dog you love your cousin Bob and your friend jill, but you have sex with your husband. It's really what makes the relationship different and solid. it's the passion etc period and if he is not an overall sexual guy, he's not going to become one, especially as he gets older. and just to cover all bases here, I'm assuming that you haven't gained 50 lb or anything crazy like that right?

    • No lol I’m petite and haven’t changed anything but my hair length since we met. He has a low sex drive for sure

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  • He should definitely try stop using porn for at least half a year. And meet a doctor

    • *stop watching porn.

  • Understandable. I'd feel bad too if I felt I couldn't satisfy my girl. That's natural. It sounds like it's not for lack of trying though. I guess he just has a hard time with that in general?

  • Because it makes you feel undesirable? I don't know what else to say.

  • Give him few days like 1 week without having sex. Then Try stripping with music on her, He will get wild. I think you have to take some control like may be try Cowgirl !

  • This is a common reaction. You're thinking there's something wrong with you, when the truth is probably more that this guy ha a medical issue that needs sorting. This is also a very common problem in our society. Our diet sucks, and you need good vascular function to produce and maintain an erection. Clog those arteries and that' not going to happen.

  • It's happened to me, i can admit it.
    I felt very inadequate that I couldnt finish the job, pissed off to be honest that my man couldnt stay up.
    I've thought about taking an erection pill to keep him hard.

    it's worse, getting stage fright when i'm with a very good looking lady and i'm really horny but he just doesn't want to play ball, now that really pisses me off

  • Maybe try a change in diet?

  • why are you so concerned about a sexual organ then him? it does what it does, we dont control it.

  • Darling, it’s not you. not by a long shot. loosing your boner has so many psychological aspects , a pretty ans livening woman is not one of them.

  • it is not because of you , it is him , erectile dysfunction among men 'nowadays' are actually much more common than people think ( age doesn't matter )

    however it is treatable , you can google it for more details

    • Just says go to a dr. They gave him viagra

    • i see , it seems you are not quite content with viagra based on what you said above it is also possible that he can only turned on by unusual things , i dont know anything your guy , but try to make him to open up and tell if he has secret desire , if he refused to tell you , the other way to find out is by looking up at his porn history other possibility, it caused by stress related to his job

  • Not being able to get an erection or keep one is a medical problem most of the time, try checking his Testosterone levels, maybe its diet and exercise related etc. Not because of you.

  • Letting recharge a little bit, if that don't work then taking him to the doctor might help because it might be something medically, if not then finding ways to destress besides sex is more then likely the best option

  • He could have ED

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