Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it bad that I choose not to have sex? Is there something wrong with me?

It’s not that I can’t get any sexual partners, it’s that I simply don’t have an interest in having sex with men who I’m not in a relationship with. I was never a drinker, drug user or party girl, I never dressed provocatively or slept around, my only sexual encounter was a lapse in judgment I had years ago who left the next day (because all he wanted was to conquer a Virgin and I was so dumb I couldn’t see it) so I’m definitely not a supposed “cock carousel” rider (except for that one time), yet I get labeled and mocked as being a prude, uptight bitch, stuck up, a goody two shoes or I get reminded that I’m not getting any younger and I’m reminded about the biological clock (which doesn’t apply to me because I was told at 25 years old I medically can’t have children). I feel like I’m being shamed because I don’t have a strong desire to have sex, or perhaps it’s my imagination. Who knows. I know this is probably why I’m still single, but is there something wrong with me that I have to really like the guy both inside and out in order to even think about sex?

A friend of mine told me my dating life would get a drastic boost if I were more open to a sporadic dick appointment with a hot guy, but I think that’s because he’s under this impression that I desperately need to get laid lol. I’m not judging anyone looking for that arrangement, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for me to have sex if I don’t want to.
1 2

Superb Opinion

  • "A friend of mine told me my dating life would get a drastic boost if I were more open to a sporadic dick appointment with a hot guy..."
    I mean this in the nicest way, but your friend is an idiot. What kind of friend would tell you to just go sleep with a guy in order to boost your dating life? NO! It doesn't work that way.

    Personally, I would think you would be respected more for not sleeping around- and I would hope the men on here would agree with me on that.

    To answer your question, no, it's not a bad thing at all. If anything, I believe it's a good thing. It shows you value relationships and emotions over just sex... something more people should learn. I'm the same way: I cannot sleep with a guy unless I'm in a relationship with him, and even then, there has to be an emotional connection and trust before I'm intimate with him. Otherwise it's meaningless to me.

    That's why people like us cannot do f-buddies, one night stands, or friends with benefits: we value REAL relationships over meaningless, empty sex. We get attached to the people we're intimate with, and as a result, the thought of having sex with a random person doesn't serve a purpose.

    So no, nothing is wrong with you. Nor should you listen to others that tell you to "get laid." Just because some people are capable of sleeping with anything that moves doesn't mean you should lower your standards.

    • You tell it girl... I totally, 100%, agree...

Most Helpful Guys

  • I saw this in an article: It's 7 reasons why sex is not as important as you think.

    1. It’s not your most cherished memory. When you look back on the best times you’ve had with someone you love, you don’t immediately think about that great sex you had that one time. Maybe you do, but it’s not the thing you value most.

    2. You can have sex with anyone. You can’t love anyone. Se x with someone you love is amazing, but it’s not the most amazing thing about them. And it shouldn’t be.

    3. Sex isn’t necessary for all relationships to be strong. You don’t sex with your friends, you don’t have sex with your guy friend, or anyone in your family—unless you’re a Lannister. Sex is great in romantic relationships, but they, like these other important relationships, can survive without it.

    4. It’s kind of gross. Sure, it feels great. Amazing when done well. And actually pretty damn good when it’s terrible, too. But when you really think about it—genitals in genitals, exchanging genital juices and such? It’s gross. It’s so gross.

    5. There are better (and less gross) things to do. Like, watch videos of cute baby animals. Netflix and literally chill. Eat a hamburger. Take a walk outside.

    6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The less you have sex, especially in a relationship, the more you appreciate. And, in most cases, the better it gets.

    7. It’s not the key to happiness. Many people equate their sex lives to their happiness. But the truth is, they’re not connected at all: it’s all in your mind. There are happy people who have a lot of sex, and there are happy people who don’t have a lot of sex, or don’t have it at all.

    • Thanks for MHO

  • Not, Sometimes I feel like being single forever. We are more independent. We don't have the 'Crazy desire for sex' what other people called Needs. I don't calling sex as needs. Eating food, living under a roof, safety is need. Even a unic (A person without sexual organ particularly because removal) lives happily, They just don't have sexual attraction.
    I am not calling ourselves asexual (A person without sexual desire) but we have desire but not the absolute need. I need replies on a lot of questions where girls and boys both say they will not marry a person with sex no matter if they love you. They don't understand both makes and females are going to it menopause halfway through life, and they call it need. I find it funny. However, I agree that sometimes people like us have more than usual desire but we don't have the absolute need !

Most Helpful Girl

  • You are correct because males need only our body for their sex feelings. They don't think about our feelings. I had relationships with 11 boys. Now I don't have a boyfriend. But I'm not a lesbian. So I like to do masturbation.
    I think then I don't need a any kind of relationships with a guy because they need to penetrate my vagina finally. I know that.

    • Well then do u use toys?

    • @ND4SPD31 Yeah I have a collection

    • Nice. I’m assuming dildo’s?

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Is it socially unacceptable to ask what a guys penis size is?
Do men like pink vaginas?
Weird comment from boyfriend?
Why is being a virgin woman a CRIME?

What Girls & Guys Said

4 30

  • DAMMIT...

    I just wrote you this large, in depth reply to your question, (which included some rather personal things my own personal experience with what you are going through), and it was REALLY thorough... Then my laptop crashed! Fucking hell, none of it saved! I'm too tired to rewrite at all. I was tired enough, but this is just demoralizing. Totally killed my plan to write, send, spend 5 to 7 minutes destressing, and then getting to sleep... and that just totally sucks.

    Sorry, Sweetheart, but I had to at least get that little rant out somehow... I'll have to owe you one!

  • You and I are on exactly the same page. I need that strong emotional connection for sex to have meaning. Then Katy bar the door!!

  • Absolutely No it is not a bad thing if in fact that is the way you truly feel!

  • Are the people shaming you the same people who want to sleep with you? If so, just chalk it up to the usual toxicity of being denied. If it's other people, tell them to mind their own business. There's nothing wrong with you.

  • Sex is a kind of Unified Energy. Example Milk is a Unified Energy and its products are yogurt, sour cream, butter, cottage cheese, etc. varieties. Let's say you don't like yogurt. So what? )))) Do not pay attention to the opinion of society! Eat what you like!)

  • I think we are all on different journeys in life. We choose our own paths with the hand that life has dealt us. We also make our own life choices based on who we are. And that's ok to do! I think it's important to be able to live our lives in a way thats comfortable and reasonable for us

  • Not at all.

    Get yourself ahead in life and career instead.

  • I don't have sex. I don't ever plan to. And aparently being a man everyone is always so shcoked to the point where they don't believe me. The idea of it makes me cringe. The intercourse part anyway.

  • Nah, you do you.

  • Definitely don't have sex if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong or unusual about needing to like someone before you want to have sex with them.
    Can I ask, do you only feel attracted to men after you get to know and like them

  • You’re in love with someone else be sure and let us know how it works out when you tell him how you feel and yes I know this is an old question

  • its normal want be attracted to and like a guy to want have sex. you dont need to or not need to. dont say you flatout won't but dont fuck next guy you know bothe won't satisfy you find guy you like and trust or at least tolerate and fuck him

  • Wow, Ild love to meet a "cock carousel". I feel deprived not having been cock caroused. Do you still get yourself off? If so, maybe its psychological , & you'll be back in the. I suggest that we have sex for a minimum of 5 times so I can better help me ride a theweme park production I'd love to see, the cockrider carousel. Consider this, you could limit your sexual acting out by only having sex with me. If you agree with this most salubrious of arrangement have my people call your people

  • If you aren’t interested, you aren’t interested.

  • Your headline is a bit misleading. Perhaps it should be "Is it bad that I choose not to have RANDOM sex, or sex outside a relationship" ?

    " ... simply don’t have an interest in having sex with men who I’m not in a relationship with..." is very different than "choosing not to have sex" . :) And no, there's nothing wrong with you. In fact, GOOD for you! Do what's right for you.

  • If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. I support you.

  • The secret to happiness lays in not giving a fuck about what other people say or expect from you. People will always judge, you'll be entitled as a slut if you have a high body counter, and they do if you're a virgin. I'd say do whatever makes you happy and don't ever feel the rush to do anything just because someone thinks it's the right thing for you.

  • I see nothing wrong with this

  • I agree that too many people have sex early on. If I date you I do eventually expect sex, but I am willing to wait 2 years. Since you're not a virgin I am willing to wait as little as 3 months, but you can't have sex with me before then.

  • Props. A girl who isn't total trash. Sad you actually think something is wrong with this.

    If i knew you in real life id actually offer to take you out on a date and be nice to you.

  • Show More (14)

Latest Questions

What are your views on paying for sex for the thrill? At a strip club?
How long does a guy's cock need to be for professional porn?
How many dates did you wait to have sex with your current partner?
Girls, Are you okay with anal sex with your partner?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Is it bad that I choose not to have sex? Is there something wrong with me?