Can someone help me find out what I really am?

[Batkoo0]

Okay, so I have been questioning my sexuality for a very long time, since I was a teen boy. My father moved in different country in order to make more money for us, when I was 12. And then I grew up with my two older sisters and my mom. And there was everywhere panties, thongs, bras and womens clothes, I liked to look at them and I wondered what it will feel to wear them, so maybe that affected me. I mean I was 15 when my mom moved away to my father and my two older sisters became students, so I was left alone in our house with tons of womens clothes, panties and everything, so I started wearing them almost everyday/night. I was 16 years old then. I liked girls and I was nice, romantic, good with them, bought flowers, gifts and even writted a few poems for some girls, but I have been rejected and this somehow affected me and in the same time I started to wonder what it will be if I was a girl. And after all that I started to think and fantasize about having sex with a man. I did one blowjob to a guy, but he coudnt get hard. I was 20 years old back then. Then I met a girl, she was my first and only, we fell inlove, even engaged and lived together for 3 years, but she caught me wearing her thong and left me. And I was totally broken after that and damaged, but these feelings came back.. Again I wanted to wear thongs, bras, girls clothes and I started to fantasize about men again (I actually never stopped). I am sure that I am sexually attracted to men, yes. Not romantically tho. I mean my whole life I had dreams and hopes for true love, romance with a woman. To make her happy, to be loving and caring. To marry her and have kids. So yes, that is/was my dream. But from the other side.. I am feeling different now. Maybe it was because of the rejections, I don't know. But I feel different towards women now. In a way, I like them, but I don't feel attracted to them. More like I want to be like them. And I like d*cks, that I can't deny it.

[AlienParasite]

It's confusing. It's like you are yet in your way.

From what you say you are either homosexual or bisexual, when it comes to sexual orientation. To know the answer the question is, do you feel attracted to girls sexually or only romantically?

I have my doubts about your gender self identification and if you could be transexual. However you don't seem to display problem with the fact of beign a guy or having a male body, it seems more like you are curious about the female experience and you like certain clothes that are socially considered for women. But I may be wrong. Only you can tell if you are fine with your biological gender.

If you feel you are simply a bisexual man who enjoys wearing female lingerie, I can only tell you that in case of heterosexual women, most of them will be unattracted to men in lingerie, but there are girls with that kink. In case of gay men, it's a bit more frequent for that kink to exist in their community.

Anyways, I hope you find yourself, and find a way to accept yourself and be happy with it.

[Batkoo0]

I know its confusing, right? Some people here thinks that I am troll, but its not true. What is true-is that I am really confused. For girls now I feel only in romantical way, even tho lately I just want to look up to them, befriend them and etc.. I dont think I am really a trans, because as you said, I dont have problem with me being a man. Thats what I think, I doubt that any woman will want to be with me, knowing this. And I wouldn't want to lie to her. Before I had hopes that I can overcome these urges and feelings, but now I am sure that I can't and that they ae part of me. Thank you for your answer.

[Shuthid]

I think you are a gay. If you go for women then she might not be happy with you because you love men most.
So accept that you are a gay and live your life freely.

[Batkoo0]

Oh, wow, but are you sure? Can you explain why do you think like that?

[Shuthid]

Because you highlighted the things like wearing panties, sucking cock etc. So no straight man would say that.

[Batkoo0]

Well, before I believed that I could be straight after all, but now I am sure that I am either gay or bi, but I don't know which one of them..

[Shuthid]

I can say it's 100% that you are a gay. Don't think of getting woman because you really love men.

[Batkoo0]

Well, if you are sure, I just want to be sure myself..

[Shuthid]

Once you grab a meat, you can't go vegan

[Batkoo0]

Well, thats true, but I don't like men exactly, I like their dicks.. Can you PM me?

[Shuthid]

I have low xper points

[Batkoo0]

Then you need to follow me, so I can PM you. :)

[Shuthid]

Ok. Ok

[SuzuBrooke]

You are heteroromantic sir (in love with women) but gay it's just your feelings for different things since you said you are sexually attracted to men and only romantically in love with women. Not homoromantic or biromantic. But it could be a trauma from your Dad leaving to another country for a job. But in fact you like feeling like a woman because you couldn't have fatherly love in your earlier years so you are into wearing women clothes. Some women are attracted to this during sex and it's mostly dominant women with this type of kink to dress you up. So use your kinks and maybe you'll find out your bisexual. You just have to find the right woman possibly.

[Heatherheels]

sounds to me like you just discovering yourself, there is a difference in sexual identity, and attraction. It sounds to be that you are actually a trans gender woman (woman born in a male body)
and possibly bi-sexual. if this is really how you feel you should consult your doctor/ physiatrist and start your transition to womanhood. it will make you happier. it don't matter if you are sexually attracted to men or women that's a different thing all together be who you are inside then decide what you like don't label things that makes it more difficult just be you.

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your answer. As much as I would love to be a woman, like you, I don't want to start transitioning..

[ReginaFilange]

Seems like you are at least bisexual. I wouldn't say that because you had girls clothes in your house that affected you. Anyone can have access to them any time. So it was in you either way. Also because you had pleasure with women before etc I would say you are bisexual. Maybe at this moment you just don't feel accepted as you are by the women you meet. I'm sure that if you were ever to find a woman who accepted you as YOU and loved you for yourself you two would be happy. BUT this doesn't necessarily have to be the case. If you realise you only like guys, you can find a guy to carry the rest of your life with.
Or no-one at all!

What I'm trying to say is don't feel any pressure to "fit in" any box that society has created. You can leave everything on a fluid spectrum. Stay open to any possibility. Enjoy yourself. Live your life. Experiment as long as you want (safely though) and the rest will come 😊



I'm bi by the way and plus, I can't believe she broke up with you because of a thong. Talk about toxic masculinity stereotypes!!

[Batkoo0]

You speak with so much wisdom and I will try to follow your advice. :) I would love to find a woman, who will accept me, but I doubt it will happen. :( Its nice that you are bi. And she didn't say it right in my face that she left me because of that, but I know it was because of that

[ReginaFilange]

You can find anyone you want! Stay positive and firstly accept yourself. Don't try to figure out anything. At this moment you want to fuck a guy? Well good for you! Do it (safely again haha) you wanna do it for the rest of your life? That's fine as well. No? That's also fine! You do you!

[Batkoo0]

Well I want the guy to fuck me, haha. And sadly, I am 95% sure that I will love it, maybe that's why I am afraid to do it finally..

[ReginaFilange]

Hmm I see. No don't be scared. Before my first time with a woman I was scared I would become a lesbian haha. But that's not the case. I'm saying I get the feeling of fear. But fear can't keep you away from your desires forever...

[Batkoo0]

Yeah, you are right. I an afraid that I will forget about women completely and I will become gay. But the scary part is that even now I don't think about being with a woman. :( And I have these urges and desires, since I was teen. I always thought to myself that I can overcome them if I want, but now with the time I am sure I will have them forever, because they are part of me

[ReginaFilange]

And it is OK.

[Batkoo0]

Well will see tomorrow. :)

[Flower7]

It sounds like you're probably trans.

[mélancolie]

having a cross dressing fetish doesn't make you gay by the way, js. in my opinion if you're attracted to guys bc of a fetish (like you want to be a woman when you fuck someone and you know that's why you like them) then you're not gay, you just like them in the same way you like panties.

if not, you're probably bi (like you said you're attracted to women & liked them sexually at least at some point, same with dudes)

[Batkoo0]

You have a point, because I imagine myself like a woman, when I think about guys.

[heatherlj01]

I think none of what you did is wrong/ or really matters honestly if your gay/ straight/ bi or even decide one day to transition (not trying to push you into anything or say that’s what you should/or need to do) just saying if... I think you should just be you know? One day you want to be with a man, be with a man the next a woman ok be with a woman if you want to dress up do it just be you I’m sure it’s a lot harder emotionally bc we naturally care what others think I am not pretending I know what you’re going through but if you ever need to talk or anything dm me good luck

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your amazing answer, hun! Its confusing and complicated... I tried to pm, but I can't, I am not allowed. :)

[heatherlj01]

You’re welcome, I changed my settings you should be able to message me now

[gecebutnotgecendayaa]

ask yourself, would you date a man? would you have sex with a man? could you see yourself with a man? you have to kind of picture yourself with a man and see if it makes you feel weird or if it gives you comfort. are you more comfortable with men than with women? or is it the same amount of comfort. if so, you might be bisexual. but if you are more interested in women then you’re just bisexual with a girl lean i’m pretty sure? maybe experiment a little

[gecebutnotgecendayaa]

or you might be bisexual with a man lean. or just fully gay

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your answer. Well, I would date a man in terms of sex relationship, so I would have sex with a man. At the moment I can't see myself in loving relationship with a man tho.

[supercutebutt]

Less talk, more action. Set up a gloryhole.

[GrimmGothBabe]

No one can tell you what you are. Why do you need to label it? Why can't you just live your life enjoying whatever you enjoy? Societies pressure to have everything labeled and defined is why so many people hide from their sexuality or pretend it doesn't exist. Who cares what the label is just follow your own path do what you like and only enjoy what you enjoy.

I'll tell you what you are.. you are YOU! NO ONE CAN LABEL OR DEFINE THAT.

[Tamera952]

This is an honest and accurate reply. @grimmgothbabe has written the best response I've read yet

[SphynxUK]

To me, you sound like a cross dresser, and that’s nothing to do with gender.


You said you could see yourself with a woman, married in the future.
You didn’t say you could see yourself settled with a man, so you are probably not gay.


Being gay isn’t about the sex. It’s about the gender you are attracted to in a romantic way, if you know what I’m saying?


Imagining yourself as a woman with a man, is not you saying you want to sleep with a man as a man.
However, if you want to explore this, you should. You’ll soon know if it’s feels right and natural to you.


All the best.

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your answer, all the best for you too! :)

[ThatQuietLass]

But he wants sex with men. Literally the definition of gay

[Tamera952]

This is the most sensible, feasible, and probable response I've read thus far. He has a point, as most 'cross-dressers' are straight (or in this case sorta Bi?)

[Kayla45]

That's for you to decide

[hellohruu]

Gay.

[Batkoo0]

Why do you think that neighbor?

[hellohruu]

I told you already in chat

[Batkoo0]

Can you PM me?

[FairEnough]

So you are romantically attracted to women (or used to be) and sexually attracted to men? If so maybe look into an open relationship! Be aware that not everyone likes an open relationship since they want to their partner's only love.

[Batkoo0]

Yes, you can said that. It will be really hard to find an open relationship, I mean woman who will accept me like this and still want to be with me. :( My future dosent look bright..

[FairEnough]

It'll be alright! There is still lots to discover since you are not fully sure on who you are! There are women who like open relationships, but do not rush into anything alright? You'll see what will happen, for now maybe look for a man to do something with? :)

[Batkoo0]

Well, if I overcome my fears and find courage, I will try to do it, because I feel like I really want to, although I am afraid what will happen if I do it with a man. Thank you again for your support. :)

[FairEnough]

Hope you find the courage to do so, and no problem man! :)

[Leah1273]

I think your trans and bisexual , although you could be pan I’m a little unsure

[billluc69]

sounds kinda bisexual

[Sadafxo]

I think you’re bi

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your answer! :)

[selflessness]

there's no reason to label yourself, ither than by your name. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out yourself.

Sometimes there are things we dont understand, but sometimes taking baby steps ( as you have started) can lead us to understand ourselves, our wants and our needs. The question of WHO you are vs. WHO you want to be will become clearer as you are more comfortable with everything.

Crossdressing isn't a bad thing, I know that there are some clothes on either " gender" that either makes us feel good as a person, or just feels good to wear in general. No sense in worrying about a label, just find you, as a person.

[Batkoo0]

Thank you for your answer!

[Anonymous]

You’re probably bi or gay. My brother used to do that stuff with our clothes and now he's come out as gay

[Batkoo0]

Oh my, you are anonymous, but if you want, can you PM me. I am sorry for your brother, if he is struggling I mean. But I see that you have experience in that, so maybe you can help me..

[Anonymous]

Lets be honest here woman your age are immature useless for house wife material. Date older woman they are better go date a 43 year old lady. Now a days woman your age are trashy classless that explains way you are so disapointed on woman because woman your age all they care about is money the are gold diggers they live to get drunk have multiple sex partners and do not take a marriage seriously. Your girl should have help you during the time she saw you wearing that thong not live you. Get yourself an older woman trust you won't regret your choice.

[Anonymous]

A person contemplating their sexuality (not bothered reading the whole thing but I'm assuming it's another question about your sexuality)