Have you ever been Molested? Do you feel it reflected on How you are now?

[Finchie40]

It’s a touchy subject and if you don’t want to share I understand considering I held it in for a very long time , i was 11 years old when my Mom’s girl friend that was in her late 30’s molested me , she threatened me and made me do things to her and she also did things for me , Even though I was scared and nervous part of me enjoyed it , I think I was just in a state of shock and didn’t really know what to think. I kept it a secret for a long time , when I found out she passed away from a brain tumor 5 years later I was able to tell my Mom , My mom was devastated but she said she wished i told her sooner because she said she would of killed the bitch herself. My mom was very concerned because she tried getting me to go to counseling over it and to seek help but I denied it I told her I was fine. As years went by and relationships I been in and girls I have encountered I always questioned to why I am the way I am today , I could never just have sex with a girl to get off I always needed to feel valued and wanted and to feel I was the only guy for her , having amazing chemistry and a connection for me to even want sex with a girl. Growing up my friends would just be able to have sex with random girls and to get off and move on, I was never really that way what so ever and I always questioned why I couldn’t , I have met some beautiful girls at party’s that wanted to just hook up and hooking up was fine kissing and touching but to be intimate with them I had to feel a connection and feel they weren’t just using me to get off for me to even have sex with them , Yes I was played a handful of times but that’s cuz I felt maybe we had something going on lol But I could never pay for sex or be bribed into sex it did nothing for me. Going to strip clubs with my friends did nothing for me to be honest it was just silly fun to be honest so Do you think by me being molested has reflected on the way I am? Has it reflected on how you are today?

[Anonymous]

Wow you were brave to share it. I was raped 😢by my moms boyfriend the same guy my mom cheated on my dad. He beaten me I was 11 at the time he was 32 years old. It was this horrible pain later I realized I was bleeding in between my legs not knowing what the hell was going on😭 I told my mom and she beaten me. Worst thing my mom she knew the whole time what was going on and she acted like everything was okay when it really wasn't. I talk to my school counselor about it all she did was sent a social worker my mom denied and told the social worker that I was a liar that I was making up stories for not cleaning my room and that I was grounded that I said that just to get attention, Later my mom grab the laptop charger abd beaten me and told me if I every said anything at school the beatings would get worst. That disgraceful man raped me he would walk inside my room I prayed every night that man would not walk in😭. I had gone to therapy it did work out for me. But every night I sleep with a knife under my mattress. I hate that man and my mom. My mom is selfish my dad at the time was at the hospital he was on a critical condition and my mom cheated on him. I missed the time memories when my dad tough me how to swim took me out for a ice cream that was all over once my parents divorce my mom took the house my siblings and I she used our child support money to buy her self and that demons shit. I had just turn 28 and it is still affecting me.

[Finchie40]

Wow I am so sorry to hear you went through all that , that is beyond devastating, thank you for sharing and I pray things get better for you , when people say just let go of the past there are just some things we can’t let go from , we can bury it but it is always there , If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. You are very kind. indeed it is true what you said I have been told it was past but people do not understand the hell people like us go threw.

[Opinion Owner]

And that woman went to hell there is a special place in hell for people that hurt children.

[Agape93]

Somewhat yeah, just not physically. Uncle kept saying sketchy shit, showed me his bits and leered at me.

[Agape93]

I’m sorry you went through that. But I’m glad you’re alive and well today

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry you went through that as well , has it stopped? Have you told anyone what he did? I know it’s hard but it’s better to get it out then to hold it in , something I wish I didn’t do for a long Time

[Agape93]

I cut them out of my life wholly. But it stopped when I moved out at 18. Nope, didn’t think anyone would believe me. I agree fully. That’s why as bad as it may hurt to discuss trauma, I’d rather discuss it so others don’t feel the need to hide it as well. Hiding a poison helps none and kills one.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Thank you for sharing. It couldn't have been easy, but talking about makes others feel less alone.

I was molested when I was 5. My memory at the time is a little fuzzy so I can't know for sure how many times it happened. At least twice, I'm pretty sure of that.
It has definitely affected me deeply and in more ways than I've realized.
I have no real interest in sex. In fact, I think I'd be happy to never have sex again. If I could find a partner who didn't want sex, but loved to cuddle, that would be my ideal relationship.
I was in a relationship for nearly a year where we had sex pretty often. I could never fully relax, or fully enjoy it. Part of me was always waiting for it to be over. It was always, in my mind, about pleasing my partner. I didn't care if I got off, some days I didn't even want to.
A lot of aspects of sex gross me out. I hate that I see it as dirty, but I do. It just seems so messy and uncontrollable. It took me months with my last partner to get even somewhat comfortable with basic sexual intimacy.
After we broke up a little over two years ago, I avoided dating and relationships. I still am, I guess. I don't want to get into a relationship like that again unless I'm comfortable with sex. I don't know if that will ever happen though.

[Finchie40]

I am opposite , I still love sex but for me to love it I need to feel wanted and valued , for me to be in a relationship the girl needs to make me feel secure and that I am the only guy for her , if she isn’t faithful or shows signs she isn’t faithful by flirting with other guys , my desire for sex with her dies down , but I understand what you are going through , I know a guy that was molested as well and his desire for sex is gone , he is married but he barely ever wants to have sex with his wife , he says he just isn’t into it and he said exactly what you said that when he does have sex with her he can’t wait for it to be over , but he feels he needs to do it to please her , his relationship with her is like they are just buddies hanging out together , I can tell she is sexually frustrated but she still stands by his side. So you aren’t alone my man , It seems everyone I met that was molested as a child had an impact on how they are today, it’s a shock to the system , at the age I was when I was molested I didn’t even really know what sex felt like or how it started but I kind of knew because I use to fool around with a girl when I was 8 years old playing house , but her and I really didn’t know what we were doing , we would just get naked and kiss each other and touch each other , so when I was forced into doing it was something that stuck with me my whole life I always questioned myself on why I thought it felt good even though I was scared and nervous , I think by me somewhat enjoying it was my defense that if I showed signs that I didn’t enjoy it she would of hurt me, again I don’t really know cuz just like you said it is fuzzy. I buried it for a long time and as I got older and relationships I have been in I realized my actions might of reflected off of being molested Girls I been with in relationships I took serious to the point if I am giving you my heart you better be giving me the same , I was never really insecure I always trusted until I had

[Finchie40]

I was cheated on , then it was harder For me to even get into a relationship , I started To feel that all girls are cheaters , so I started to not get into relationships and was just hooking up with random girls thinking what is The big deal I rather do this instead of getting my heart destroyed. I was doing that in my late teens and early 20’s until I realized it was so wrong to do and realized I can’t be ha with someone if I need someone else to fulfill me so I quit hooking up with random girls then I met my ex wife , I stayed faithful To her the whole 14 years we were married until she had an affair on me and that’s when I started to not trust any girl anymore completely , after my ex wife and entering the dating world again after all these years I realized how much the world has changed it seems relationships are a thing of the past and I am so lost , I have dated girls that have blown my mind , the last girl I was with was secretly married and played me for a long time , she treated me like gold and the sex was amazing until her husband showed up on my doorstep , after her I pretty much gave up and realized the next girl if their is one has a lot of walls to climb before gaining my heart and trust , and I ask myself why am I that way? How come I can’t just go bang girls and have fun why do I need this connection?

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I can definitely relate to needing to feel close to someone and feel a certain level of commitment before I can be intimate with them. I think that comes down to trust for me. If I know someone is committed to me, then they probably care enough about me to not want to hurt me. So I can feel reasonably safe with them. I don't think I could ever do a casual hookup. Plus, as I said, sex for me is about pleasing my partner. So I need to like someone enough to be willing to put up with sex for them, you know? Can't really get that with someone I just met. And I can definitely relate to the abuse feeling good at the time, even though I was also terrified. You know, bodies react to stimulation without our control. You sneeze in a dusty room, you laugh when you get tickled even if you hate it, etc. Just because our abusers made us feel some level of pleasure, it doesn't mean it was wanted attention. Though it can make it a lot harder to come to terms with what happened. And yeah, me too with the wall thing. I have a hard time letting myself be vulnerable with others, and trusting someone enough to open up to them. If I start dating again, it's gonna ne a long road for my potential partner to navigate

[Finchie40]

That’s exactly how I feel and how I am , I need that trust and commitment for me to be comfortable with someone , , if a girl throws herself at me basically just hooking up kissing , if I feel she is beautiful I have no problem kissing back but I also have questions racing in my head on if this girl just wants a hook up or does she really like me etc. , I hate that about myself considering I can’t just relax and go with it. So she has to make me feel that she is really Into me and only wants me for me to even consider getting in bed with her , when a girl comes on to me it’s easier for me to feel at ease , when she is calling or showing up at my home etc that sort of thing turns me on , If I really Like a girl I can only chase for a little, if I feel like I have to constantly chase then that’s a turn off for me and I will start losing interest anytime I feel I am a convenience to someone I get turned off , Most girls like to be chased and play hard to get , I think that’s why mainly I am single , I will let a girl know that I am interested but if she doesn’t respond with a reasonable time , I am done with her

[Natehunter199]

I may be weird but i would like to be molested but a pretty attractive girl

[Anonymous]

I had a 5th grade teacher that like little boys.
He wasn't shy about trying the odd young girl either.

[Finchie40]

Did you say something or did you let it go

[Opinion Owner]

I told anyone who would listen. No one would believe me.