Why is "abuse" during sex ok but outside of sex it is abuse (even with consent)? Would you accept anyone who is not into bdsm/hardcore/ violent sex?
Anonymous
What i mean is that wanting to be violent/abusive during sex is ok and is just a fetish/bdsm practice but outside of it it is abuse even it is consensual and you would be seen as mentally ill if you want to "abuse" your partner but it is perfectly fine during sex.. I mean porn literally normalized violent/hardcore sex to the point you are seen as prude, if you dont accept things like facefuck, getting choked, getting ejaculated on your face, hitting your partner during sex ( - i am not talking here about little spanking-). If i chock/hit my partner outside of sex with consent, people would call me toxic/crazy. It is also hypocritical that it is ok for guys to except such things but people think you are weird/disgusting if you also want to do extrem sexual practices such as oral sex during period. . I mean i am totally ok with such things, but let me abuse your throat with my strap-on dildo before you want such things from me. I am not shaming anyone who like bdsm but i realize that mainly women have been excepted to endure such things but not genders reverse. So women have to endure all the risks and health issues that may be caused by anal sex or deep throats (that makes you lose an important reflex) or other extrem sexual practices. It is very normalized to except from women to like bdsm to the point it gets more difficult to find a guy who like the "traditional" way of sex. I mean wtf is the next fucking your partner's nose holes? The same guys who except bdsm shit from their partners, can't even accept oral/vaginal sex during period 'cause it is too extrem for them but bdsm is full ok/is not extrem. So they just want things that please them but not vica versa.
I have no problem with dating/marrying someone who is not into bdsm/hardcore or violent sex
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I only date/marry someone who is into bdsm
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+1 y
To be honest it is for me mental illness. I mean wtf. What kind of psycho need you to be to like choking/hittin people. You would be sent to rehab if you say you like hitting/choking people outside of sex. I swear people make every shit a fetish/bdsm practice.
+1 y
Why is even porn with rape/violent scenes allowed. It should be forbiddent like the child porn is forbidden. So many mental ill people who think this is normal
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Superb Opinion
loveslongnailsMaster
+1 y
Here's where I disagree with your premise: " I mean porn literally ( can we PLEASE stop misusing the word "literally"? Porn did not literally do anything in this example --- ok, moving forward) ... normalized violent/hardcore sex to the point you are seen as prude". I completely disagree with this assumption. It's conjecture based on no evidence.
" ... if you dont accept things like facefuck, getting choked, getting ejaculated on your face, hitting your partner during sex... (you're a prude)"
Again, where's your evidence that this is true? I realize you're asking a question about why "abuse" is ok during sex, but when it's consensual and erotic for all participants, it's not abuse. Outside of the bedroom, it wouldn't be acceptable "public behavior", but behind closed doors, why is it NOT ok for two people to consensually engage in what arouses them?
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Asker
+1 y
How should i get an evidence without knowing everyone 's sex life. What a stupid question. It is just a logical fact that more and more people learn sex from porn where violent sex scenes are the norm since sex education ain't a thing in many countries.
Asker
+1 y
How about you give me evidences for your assumptations?
Asker
+1 y
I also say it in "...". Since i dont know if abuse have to be with physical force. For me this is just mental illness and need to be treated. It gets more and more ridiculous how people define every weird insane sexual practice as fetish/bdsm bs. So it is perfectly sane and healthy for you if someone wants to get physically hurt or even get killed?
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Asker
+1 y
For me such people need to go to rehab
loveslongnails
+1 y
a) There's nothing stupid about asking someone to back up their allegations with evidence. b) I'm not the one "alleging" that porn has normalized violence c) I'm not the one "alleging" that women who don't practice bdsm are viewed as prudes. d) And I'm surely not alleging or even intimating that consensual BDSM, no matter how weird, violent or painful YOU view it to be, leads to wanting to kill someone. You are. Yes, you're entitled to your "opinion", and I'm saying " ok, without some sort of evidence to back up your opinion, it's nothing more than conjecture." I'm not presenting assumptions - I'm responding to yours. I think you fail to realize there are any number of degrees of severity in BDSM. It sure sounds like you're trying to make the case that anything YOU view as rough, or abuse, which wouldn't be acceptable in public, is ALSO not acceptable in private sex. That LAST part, if it's your opinion, needs no evidence or explanation - it's how you think and feel. Fine. But what YOU view as rough, or "weird, insane (?) sexual practice", isn't shared by everyone. I imagine many people who only like straight up, missionary vanilla sex are viewed as "weird" by many others too.
Most Helpful Guy
Girther10Yoda
+1 y
Abuse is never ok. What you call abuse during a sex act, it’s two different things. So I don’t agree with you saying one is ok, so th y both should be ok, but that can’t be, because they aren’t the same at all. E
0000
Asker
+1 y
So it ain't abuse if you choke your partner?
Girther10
+1 y
Only if t is habitual. A one time sex act is not abuse, according to most definitions.
It's not entirely the fault of porn, actually. Women are ultimately in control over their own sex lives and what happens. They often allow and even tease such things of men "hit me, choke me, dominate me", etc. Men only like to do such things when they think that it's something she enjoys in a dirty way. This is what makes it seem so normal.
It takes two to tango. Without the enthusiasm and approval of women to do such things, men would not be attempting to do them so often. Evidently a lot of women like it, and they make it seem like being hit and choked is nothing to them but a good time. The reality could be different from what you see in porn, but often times women play along with it, so the difference between porn and real life is often not made distinct.
Obviously men aren't very interested in being dominated by women, and often don't try to give the impression that they are. Therefor, it doesn't happen. We don't see it as normal.
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NorthwestRiderGuru
+1 y
I love when my fiancée puts me in chains hehe
1002
NorthwestRider
+1 y
Lol I triggered two blue snowflakes lol
TonyMetal___86Guru
+1 y
Chose a...
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pizzalovershouseMaster
+1 y
Depends on if ifs consensual
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bklynbadboy1Guru
+1 y
Cause some people are into to that so if you enjoy it then its not abuse
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OddBeMeMaster
+1 y
How is abuse outside of sex consented?
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Asker
+1 y
That is why i say in "..".
OddBeMe
+1 y
But porn isn’t as bad as you’re making it out.
Asker
+1 y
There are literally porn that have rape scenes or worse. It is one of the worst things of the 21st century. I only can understand realistic porn but the rest is bs that is for mental ill people
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OddBeMe
+1 y
How many murders do movies depict? Vast majority of porn is clean, legal humping. If you want to get into whether porn stars are forced or economically reliable, that’s at least arguable. But no research has linked media and violence.
OddBeMe
+1 y
In fact, I’d make an argument that porn has reduced sexual assaults.
Asker
+1 y
How do you know, that the girls are not forced to do it? Human trafickerr also make porn. You can googlw it
OddBeMe
+1 y
Yes, that was my point, as thats arguable. But bc “rape” or other bad keywords may be on porn sites doesn’t lead to violence.
Asker
+1 y
That is why everyone should stop watching it or should only watch porn by people you know for 100 % that they are not forced in order to not support human trafickers.
OddBeMe
+1 y
In that case, stop shopping at clothing stores that finance child labor, driving cars that pollute, etc... You see where I’m going. Porn will always have consumers. Honestly the best thing we could do is legalize prostitution and make sex work not so stigmatized.
Asker
+1 y
I dont shop at such clothing stores. You are part of the problem if you can't even stop watching porn and use excuses to support human traficking. You dont even have to stop watching it. You just need to make research before watching or find people who ain't forced. And porn is not even a basic need, while clothes are.
OddBeMe
+1 y
Please tell me which clothing stores don’t support child labor... I’ll wait.
Asker
+1 y
Buy clothes that are made in your country. That easy. Also second -hand clothes exist.
OddBeMe
+1 y
second hand is still from child slaves you monster!
Asker
+1 y
No you idiot, it is not the same. These clothes wouod end up being trash. So i rather get second hand clohes and dont support such shoos.
OddBeMe
+1 y
you're rationalizing now.
ValnacGuru
+1 y
That’s not my thing.
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Anonymous
+1 y
Some girls enjoy it. encourage us to do it. So don't blame it on men.
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