Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Mad beacause I didn't let him go down on me?

so Iam a virgin who got with an experienced older man , 10 years older.
I told him from the get go that I was a virgin and he was very acceptant and re-assured me he didn't care.
we made out twice , first time was so good he asked me a second time.
this time it was different , everything was going good until he tried to go down on me which I refused because I wasn't ready yet.
we slept , everything was fine up to the morning where he wasn't acting like himself and was very cold.
when I returned home I told him I was sorry in which his reponse was nothing to apologize for.
However its been four days and he hasn't texted me yet , should I text him and see whats up with him / wait for him to text me / move on with my life and go on a date with other guys?
Updates:
+1 y
he told me its better we both go our separate ways (he's been a fuckboy all along )
0 2

Most Helpful Girls


  • You should be proud of yourself. It sounds like you stood by what you were comfortable with. Maybe you want to challenge yourself to be more relaxed or open, but that's on your own terms, not for a guy. I doubt he's "mad." He probably just feels that he should move on for a variety of reasons, may not want you to get too attached, and may be occupied with life / other women and doesn't have it as a priority to message you.

    What should you do? Be the empowered young queen that you are and know that you don't owe anyone access to your body, no matter how "mad" they might be. My general advice is not to chase men. Be so wrapped up in your life that you have options (date other men) and friends and fun, interesting things to enjoy. Everyone has those moments if we like a guy, but catch yourself if you find yourself waiting eagerly for a text. Having said that, I also believe in being assertive. If it has been a few days, I don't think there's anything wrong with messaging him if you really want to. But I would say never "wait." Waiting implies you are keeping a spot open for this guy at his own convenience. Either decide that you want to check in with him directly or decide that you are moving on with your life (including dating other men), whether or not he texts you.

    Now, if you want to have casual sex, you should know that most of the time, the guy is not going to be texting you daily or making you a priority. You can find rare situations like that, true "friends" with benefits. But most of the time, the crippled communication skills reign supreme in casual sex/hookup culture. Many guys are terrified to directly end things and don't feel they owe you the closure. Ghosting is super common.

    What is the context of your relationship? Was this a one night stand or have you been dating a while?

    • thank you so much for your amazing words , it really cheered me up. our relationship is definietly not a one night stand , we've been on 5 of dates and he admitted he doesn't do hookups which is why I find his ghosting weird.

    • Bullet dodged! Now you can move on to find a better match for you. Sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise. And look - you figured this out without pressuring yourself to have sex before you're ready or letting a guy's desire guide your world. You're less attached than you would have been had you slept with him. Very smart. Take your time and do things at your own pace. Good luck girl :)

  • I get the impression that he wanted sex, and hoped that going down on you would like blow your mind or something, and open the door to going further. For him not to talk to you for all these days just solidifies that notion, and you have nothing to be sorry for! You dodged a huge bullet and I hope you ignore him when he does get around to talking to you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • If you never teased him over and over, and you were sure of how you feel about your choice, he shouldn't be acting that way. If you did teased him and played the "yes, no" game (confused, insecure), his reaction is somewhat understandable. Either way, both need to have a talk, open up and be honest. Obviously you'll notion of the relation, isn't matching.

    • Thanks for the MHO

  • He wanted more then what you were comfortable/ready for , he wasn't it to go sexual so him not talking to you is probably him protesting that he didn't "get some" so it's your call if want to hang with someone who wants sex and in fact not wanting to wait

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 10

  • he wants the sex, you didn't give it to him, it is up to you now, do you want a relationship with a guy who just wants your pussy or find another who might like you

  • I would reach out like hey, why are u giving me the cold shoulder? Are u mad about us not going further? I'm sure his answer or lack there of will give u all the info u need...

  • I'd say date next guy. You're gonna want more than one sexpartner in your life anyway right? You don't drive the same car neither

  • Wait. The next move is his.

  • You're not in a committed relationship, feel free to date other people. If you enjoy his company, set the rules what you're willing to do and stop him if he tries to go further

    • You're better off without him, you learned a very valuable lesson with that dumb shit.

    • Better luck next time

  • He didn't get what he wanted so now he's upset. Find a better guy, he is a jerk.

  • A decent guy will always be considerate, and understanding of your feelings. Never change your values to satisfy someone else. Best wishes.

  • You're what's typically called a 'prick-tease'. Don't be writing checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

  • Guys need to cum, it's a bit unaware of you to not give the guy a handjob, or invite him to masturbate in front of you maybe,,,
    So you made out then cut him off, not your fault but that's really annoying and teasing,,,

    • I did tho

    • oh gosh sorry I didn't realise that,

  • For a grown ass man, he's quite immature and inconsiderate. I don't think he actually cares too much about you as a person.

  • A man should NEVER force anything on a woman sexually in my opinion. I have always told women when you are ready to do something further you make the move, or tell me what you would like to do. It's called respect!

  • Move on, he got your virginity and that's all he wanted.

    • he did not get it

    • So you didn't make out fully then?

  • He is bound to be mad but needs to understand your mindset as well.

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