The sex is really bad?

We have sex once a week and its really boring. I'm trying to make the whole situation more interesting but he's really lazy. There's no foreplay for me (no fingering/oral) and that's why sometimes it kinda hurts me at first. On the other side i really try a lot to please him but sometimes he doesn't even take all of his clothes off. How I'm supposed to get turned on when you're not even trying and you're wearing a fucking jacket! He told me that he likes it when im on top cause it's less tiring. Who thinks of that during sex? We've been together for 6 months and he wasn't like that at first. I know that he might be tired cause he works a lot with my brother but I don't think that's a good excuse. I don't think he's cheating cause most if the time he's either at home or at work. Do you think he's not attracted to me anymore? He used to like me a lot.
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Superb Opinion

  • I'm sure he works hard, but most guys can always find time and energy for sex - and it's a fantastic stress relief. Perhaps if the sex is always at the same time of day, in same place, in same position, etc., it's not as exciting as it was when it was new. Try different things, for example some toys from a sex shop, role playing, sex games, or watching porn for inspiration. Think about having sex in different locations such as in the shower, kitchen, outdoors, watching TV, in a vehicle, etc. Try tying him up and having your way with him and vice versa. If you have a bush, shave it or trim it. If you usually have intercourse, give him a hand job or blowjob. Swallow his cum if you don't usually do that provided you're both okay with it. Invite him to eat you to orgasm. Be open with what you want him to do. If he still isn't interested it could be he is cheating, masturbating a lot, needs counselling, or has a medical issue.

Most Helpful Guy

  • A common thing. " they weren't like this in the beginning" the reason its like that and they're different now is because in the beginning they're tryna impress you, they're doing what they can to make you happy, look fun and be boyfriend material, you know, still tryna make you theirs. But once that happens and y'all together for a while. They start to show who they really are. Because well. They already got you. They no longer need to do extra. They can be themselves again you see?

    What I'm saying is thats who he is and unless you bring it up and talk about it with him and he changes you gonna be unhappy or y'all gonna break up

Most Helpful Girls

  • A lack of sexual chemistry is a big red flag that you two do not need to be together. Unless you know it could get better and there are other reasons to work on it, just drop the relationship and go live your young life.

  • Have u told him, u miss the passion that u need more?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 11
  • I strongly suggest you prioritize your needs and leave the lazy turd. There are plenty of good men out there who'll give you all the foreplay you can stand. One interesting twist is, are you kinky?

    • The sex is really bad?

    • Wtf that last sentence about

  • There are lots of men that are so much better than him. Do not invest any more time in him. Get a good guy!

  • start talking about another guy a lot, the sex will suddenly get a lot more attentive 💖

    • why do i agree with this, i dont gotta comment now

    • never limit yourself to just one partner

    • I wanna downvote this coz it's quite manipulative and sets a bad precedent for communication. But the strategist in me can't deny it would be effective, so for that it gets an upvote, so they cancel each other out lol

  • I think you answered the question in the first two sentences: he is really lazy.
    If he is like that now, after all the fluff of the initial dating is over... he will be like that for now on. He might try and change, but will always slip back to the Lazy Boy.
    Either get used to it, or get out of it and find a guy who will make sex a lot of fun and focused on you. Hard to find, but we are out there.
    Good luck.

  • Tell him take off his clothes if your passive it’s your fault be assertive not dominant but assertive

  • Ok so if this sex is bad then what do you define as good sex? If you're saying it's always painful just tell him so he'll try to make it easier for you.

    And why should he take his clothes off? Half of people have sex with some clothes on.

  • Express your concern. If the situation is the same, hmmm, do what's best for you but don't cheat. What I am saying is that if you can live with the dynamic of the relation, don't focus on the sexual aspect, by the other hand, if it's something that is entirely detrimental to your mental health, you know the best. A breakup is tough but always necessary.

  • I'm sorry, how have put up with this.
    It's time to tell him get your act together or go.
    If he is open to suggestions tell him what you like and you are not happy with the sex..

  • Sounds like the thrill is gone.
    Get yourself a man that knows how to treat a woman.

  • Here's a thought... talk to him

  • He sounds normal, you will get used to it. My girlfriend had the same problem as you, but she managed to get over it. Here is what you need to do: remember, there is two of you, not just you. Its about pleasing your partner. If you get him off you have done your job and should be proud of yourself. I can recomend using lotion, it will help a bit with the pain. If he likes it when you ride him, ride him. Few things makes a real man more tired than a demanding girlfriend.

    I hope I was able to help you, and good luck with your sex life!

    • You think that's normal? " remember there is two... yourself." He doesn't seem to remember that he's not the only one that wants to be pleased. Not me. He should at least try as well. And I'm not demanding. I'm asking for something that isn't that difficult.

    • "You'll get used to it" -- why should anyone be expected to "get used to" mediocre sex? It doesn't sound like she's asking for a dozen orgasms per night, she just wants her man to make the minimum viable amount of effort. If he loves her, he should want to make the effort to pleasure her. Otherwise why even bother being in relationship? Better off hiring a prostitute coz at least in that scenario the transaction is clearly defined, he can do as little effort as he likes and the hooker will be happy coz she's getting paid.

    • @SomeGuyCalledTom Exactly!!

    • Show All
  • A big part of a relationship is sex for most people nowadays but honestly if he is lazy now just during sex just picture in 1-15 years could he get lazier? Could he be better or treat you like you matter? That for me is a red flag if my partner doesn’t care about me during sex I get pissed because it’s a two sided street not a one way road
    in order for both to be happy you have to want to make your man cum and your man has to want to make you cum if only one side is doing that neither side really gets pleased besides the one doing nothing

    • To the guys who are going to dislike this Women are people too! They don’t deserve to be treated like fleshlights if you want a pocket pussy go buy one don’t date someone just so you can get off