Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How can I start liking giving head?

I really don't like giving head, I give it anyway but I know I could do better and I want to like giving it, I just don't. I think because I'm demisexual maybe that's why it's hard for me but I really love this man! I wanna give him head and make it enjoyable! But when it comes down to it I never actually want to... How can I get myself to like giving head? And any tips?
Updates:
+1 y
Update: Just so y'all know without getting too many details. Just spend some time with him and had a great time giving a BJ to him lol. I didn't like everything about it of course but I liked it a lot more than usual! Thanks everybody who helped! Lol
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is a good question...

    The following is an excerpt from the 1991 book "Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know" by Dr. Barbara De Angelis:
    www.penguinrandomhouse.com/.../
    www.goodreads.com/.../377762.Secrets_About_Men_Every_Woman_Should_Know

    ========
    How I Taught My Best Friend to Love Giving Oral Sex

    Let me tell you a story that I share with women in my seminars about a friend of mine I’ll call Sue. This incident took place years ago. Sue was my best friend from college, and we were very close. I hadn’t seen her for several months, and flew to the city where she lived for a visit. We sat in her apartment and caught up on each other’s lives. “I’m so excited,” Sue exclaimed, “I have a new boyfriend who I’m really in love with. His name is Andy. Our relationship is great, Barbara, but there’s one problem.”

    “What’s that?” I asked with curiosity.

    “Well, I am embarrassed to admit this, but I hate giving him oral sex. I’ve never really gotten into doing that to a man. Andy keeps telling me how much he loves it, but it grosses me out, and I don’t know what to do.”

    I thought about what Sue said for a few minutes, and then said, “Okay, when you put Andy’s penis in your mouth, what are you thinking about?”

    “I’m thinking, I have Andy’s cock in my mouth , and then I feel sick.”

    “I thought so,” I replied. “Sue, let me try something with you. Do you love Andy?”

    “Oh yes,” Sue responded, “I adore him. He’s so sweet and tender and funny and kind, and I love being with him. I’d never want to do anything to hurt him.”

    “Okay, that’s good. Now, Sue, I want you to hold out your hand, palm upward. That’s right. I want you to imagine that instead of being a normal person, your Andy was only six inches tall. Imagine he’s standing in your hand right now. If Andy was only that big, and you couldn’t make love to him normally, how would you love him?”

    “Well,” Sue giggled, “I’d gently stroke him and kiss him and tell him how precious he was to me.”

    “Good,” I said. “Sue, the truth is that your Andy does have a ‘little Andy.’ And it is only six inches tall (or whatever!). It’s his penis. It’s the essence of the big Andy whom you love. And when you love that part of him, you’re not just sticking his penis in your mouth—you’re loving Little Andy. The next time you do that, try to imagine that this is the only way you can show your love to Andy, and express your feelings through what you’re doing. Andy won’t just feel like you’re sucking on his dick—he’ll feel you are loving and adoring him, the same way you’d want him to love and adore you during oral sex.”

    Sue loved this idea, and agreed to try it and tell me the outcome. I didn’t have to wait long. The next morning she called me at my hotel. “Barbara, I have to tell you that I just spent the most wonderful night of my life in bed with Andy. I did what you suggested, and it worked! I loved giving Andy oral sex, and he was surprised and overjoyed. I thank you, Andy thanks you, and Little Andy thanks you!” This happened over ten years ago. Sue’s now happily married to another man, and they have a daughter. We’re still very close, even though we rarely see each other since we live in different parts of the country. But once in a while when we talk on the phone, we’ll laugh about this story and repeat those words: I thank you, Andy thanks you, and Little Andy thanks you. I hope that wherever Little Andy is, he’s very happy.

    • Aha thanks that's helpful!

    • Thanks. Let me know if there is anything else that I can do to help. You are welcome to PM me here.

    • @asker Are you interested in techniques? If so, I have another reply which is helpful...

    • Show All

  • Most answers anybody here may have will probably not help you find a solution, including myself.

    You first need to figure out what the problem is, before you can find a solution.

    You say you don't like doing it, but you want to try and figure out how to enjoy it. I've read other comments in here and your responses to them, but you only sum it up as "I just don't like it."

    That's not going to help any of us, or you, in figuring out what's up.

    What exactly don't you like about it? There's no wrong answer, because it is what it is.

    Is it a smell? The taste?

    Oh wait, you did mention something about it being in or down your throat. It doesn't have to go that far, as in you don't need to try and get the whole thing in. It's common for many that you get a gag reflex if you get it way in the back there. Just do what you're comfortable with before getting to that point. For the rest of the Penis not in the mouth, you can either use your hand (s) or not.

    None of my past partners or current one has ever gotten the whole thing in their mouth, nor have they tried... And that's OK. It still feels good. You don't need to deep throat. They might get about half of it in, give or take. Perspective wise, I can't get my tongue all the way in a vagina and to the frigging cervix, but my partners always enjoyed the oral.

    Perhaps that's the reason why you have issues with it because you're trying to do more than you're physically capable / comfortable with, which in turn puts you off on the whole thing due to your own discomfort.

    Just fit in what you're comfortable with and see how you go. Chances are your partner is going to enjoy it just as equally and in time, you may not find it that bad since you're not trying to more than what you can.

    • Yeah that's true! Thanks. Honestly what you said about trying to do more than I can or am comfortable with probably is turning me off. I'll try and do what I'm comfortable with.. thank you!!

    • No prob. Hope this helps.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 8

  • It sounds like you have a strong emotional connection to him. Is that true? It's important since we're both demisexual. I'd not heard the term before but it really explains me.

    • Yeah i really do. That's why i want to like giving head because I love him so much and I'm attracted to him (bc we have that strong connection) but i just don't know how! Also, I'm glad you're finding that out about yourself.

    • What is it about going down on him that you don't like? Are you submissive sexually?

    • Nah it's like we're both submissive, dominant, or equal we take turns. I don't know i just don't like doing like having it in my throat etc. Maybe if I found something good about it I'd like it more?

    • Show All

  • i feel like you can't force yourself to enjoy it, you either like it or you don't

    • Okay thanks

  • I would bet that if he feels equally as strongly about you, he probably wouldn't be that upset if you didn't.
    On the other hand, if you find away to make yourself enjoy doing it (doubly so if you also learn to do it well), you take that info and start charging guys to learn how to make their girls also enjoy it.

  • If you don't like head you can give shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes and eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

    • Lmao

  • What makes it unpleasant? Is he too forceful, causing you to gag? Tell him to relax and let you do it.

    • Okay thanks

  • It's okay if you don't like. You should never force yourself to do anything you're not into. Talk to your partner and explain to them what do you like and what you don't like.

    • Okay, thanks

  • Maybe ditch the demisexual aspects and be that much more giving?

  • Just be a little intoxicated. Maybe have a couple of drinks or smoke up as per your liking. Be a little tipsy and start stroking him down there.

    Kiss him on the tip of the cock like it's his lips. Smooch his tip of the penis, use tongue and make it wet. Don't think about it. Just go for it.

    • Aha okay thanks

  • The more you do it

    The better you'll get. The more you'll like it

    • qa, SHUT THE FUCK UP also you shouldn't be doing anything sexually right now. THERE IS A FUCKING VIRUS

  • Lick and suck the head, that’s were his sensitivity is.
    Fondle his balls.

  • By not being selfish. When you give head, you enjoy giving pleasure.

    • Yeah I don't know i give head still and he enjoys it, and i don't ask for nothing in return. But I don't know i just still don't like doing it i just do it for him. But I don't know how to like it..

    • you not asking anything in return is crap ! he can't go down on you after you gave him head! Girl you need to drink a galloon of self esteem lol better raise your standard !

    • @TessCasie lol don't worry just cuz i don't ask don't mean he don't give it if you know what I mean 😏😏😋

    • Show All

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