Why does my friend always make nasty comments when we go out?

Not specifically a guy ask girl question.

Im male and my male friend since a child I recently been meeting up with. Obviously this was before covid lockdowns but been ruminating.

A bit background. He has since school had a partner and children. She left and had kid with other mate of mines also our mate. I on other hand never had a real girlfriend but went uni and travelled. I still have little desire for a girlfriend or interest lol apart from being horny. Strange or not.

Anyway he moved near me recently so I suggested go for drinks. But every time I went out with him always say horrible things or ask weird questions.

Examples. At the bar we see hot girl.
"Why look at her. Youd never have a chance with her"
Talking about a past incident involving a fight. "You couldn't fight anyone. Youd get beat up by anyone."
Trying to work out drink prices end of night. "Everyone knows ur a cheap skate and try to get free drinks or drugs. Everybody says that about you etc" this was after a night in club I made out with girl and he didn't and he then went mental.
Then he asks weird questions eg. playing pool at bar. Hot bar girl comes to table. And he's like "would u do her? Shed get it." Etc. I dont like that kinda chat but agreed she is hot. And he's like "your a virgin?" Kept asking the question. He always asks that when we go out lol. Even though I've told him stories girls I've been with on travels etc... its so annoying and no need for it. Not type of questions asking mates when out drinking its just not even respectful or fun.
But overall many more examples I could list of. But I cut my ties. I just dont understand it. It's no fun to go out with him. he's rude, criticize everything about me and asks weird private questions all the time.

Like I just wanna have some beers play pool chill out bit fun ya know.. but impossible has to ruin it all. Maybe he didn't wanna be my friend and was annoyed I invited him out lol. If so his plan worked as won't be going out again lol
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Superb Opinion

  • he just seems to be projecting, just trying to feel better by belittling someone else because he's had a shit life. If he asks to hang with you just tell him you can't because you're hanging with a bunch of bitches and that you don't have time. Then don't pick up your phone or answer his messages for a long time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well u could tell him not to talk about women that way. Even can say its disturbing to u. He is probably bitter and unhappy in life.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Come over the top. You let him say that in my estimate. You don't challenge him properly. Your good will is getting in the way of letting him know where you stand.

    • Not understand first few lines of your reply but I do feel that me being so friendly with people makes them feel they can behave and talk in such ways. But then that's not my fault is it? But it's my problem with being to open and friedly with wrong people I guess. Definitely play a more cool character now. Had similar issues guys at work getting nasty to. But he was a mate from since I was born.

    • You gotta find a way to challenge your mate as I see it. This transcends to all life -- like an unreasonable colleague or family member. You gotta learn to express your disagreements -- however gently or aggressively is needed for that situation. Your relationships will never feel that real if you let things slide left and right. Playing it cool is usually a good trait -- but sometimes being too cool means that you let people trample you with their opinions about who you are -- with no firm clarification from you to guide them the right way.

    • Sorry when I say cool I didn't mean as you thought. I meant in as not being so friendly with people. More aloof not cool as in relaxing and allowing nasty comments. Sure I could stand up to him and others and call them out. But for him like with others I decided just to cut ties. If that's what they are like no need for me to try to straighten them out and make them be nicer to me lol They just make me feel as in dont want anything to do with them. I have other friends and meet new cool people that are fun to hang with so not gonna waste my time or sour my mood to be more aggressive with such people. Obviously at work or with family have to stand up for myself more though as these people you have to deal with. I'm not some walkerover soft guy. Just more of happy go lucky chill guy. Never had much issues in life so no baggage. These guys all their anger and aggression and bullying seems to come from what has happened In their life and upset them. But again that's not my problem. If u go out for some beers ffs have fun. No fun for anyone being nasty all night surely.

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  • Sounds like you have some negative friends. Time to flush them and try to find people who actually treat you right.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • The first time he did this to you, it was his fault. The second time he did this to you, it was your fault.

    • Well there was maybe a third and fourth but not a fifth. Have to give the guy a little leighway could've been a bad night.

    • Unless your saying I shoulda set him straight first time so he dont do that again. Yeh true. But hey ho If I have to tell a friend not to be a dick next time we go out. There won't be a next time. My fault for allowing the friendship to prolong.

    • You don't treat your friends like shit when you're having a bad night.

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