My boyfriend put in no effort to make my first time having sex special and I’m still hurt about it. Is there a point in telling him a year later?

Allie345
My boyfriend (27) and I (23) have been together for almost a year and a half.

I lost my virginity to him three months after we started dating (he had one girlfriend before me and had had sex with her). It was bad. He had asked me a couple days prior if he should get anything special for our first time and I told him to surprise me. He knew how big of a deal losing my virginity was to me. On the day of, there was nothing romantic. We got home late after I met his family and had sex. He didn’t get anything special; there was next to no foreplay; he didn’t ask me how I was feeling at any point. I could barely process what was happening and he finished quickly and rolled over and went to sleep. The process from when we got home to when he went to sleep was maybe ten minutes. I cried myself to sleep. There was nothing special about the night and I just felt used.

This was over a year ago. My relationship with my boyfriend is wonderful and we love each other so much. Our sex life now is amazing. But sometimes I think back to that first time and I’m still hurt by it. It makes me so sad.

I don’t know if I should tell him about how our first time made me feel. We always tell each other our feelings and have great communication now, but I don’t know if there is a point in telling him anymore. I would only make him sad and it has already passed— our sex life now is great so there’s nothing to change. But at the same time, thinking about our first time together still tears me up inside. What should I do?
My boyfriend put in no effort to make my first time having sex special and I’m still hurt about it. Is there a point in telling him a year later?
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