Would the world be a better place, if everything wasn’t so sexualized?

[ChefPapiChulo]

Imagine a woman being able to walk to her car at night without being afraid of being raped. Or female teachers not abusing their power on underage students. Or the “please message me” Indians on social media. Like can the world ever chill and not think of sex as the only reason to communicate with the opposite sex?

[DrunkAss]

I feel like that's sort of the norm here in Japan. Of course, we got lots of perverts too, but it's kept compartmentalized. Like catcalling isn't really a thing here. And opposite sexes being friends, and all the way from childhood is the norm rather than an unusual case.

When I first set foot again in Japan as an adult, I was actually so confused because I saw so many young guys and girls hanging out together, and sometimes they'd invite them to join them. Then sometimes the girl would get so flirty and even touch me left and right and flattering me, and then I'd pull the guy who was dining or drinking with her and whisper the Japanese equivalent of like, "Hey, dude, are you cool with your girlfriend doing this to me? I don't want to intrude."

Then he'd reply like, "She's just a friend of mine! It's totally cool!" And it took a while for me to get used to that after spending my uni and high school years in the US where this would be considered extremely weird. But it's considered quite normal in Japan for guys and girls to be friends -- go out for dinner together -- and just with the purpose of being friendly.

[ChefPapiChulo]

I’ve literally had female friends my whole life. And that’s because I don’t treat them like sexual objects. Its also kind of funny how when you treat women they respect, they actually like you. And see you as a potential partner. Like who would have guessed? That’s something many guys who are forever friend zoned or virgins will never understand. When you put women on a pedestal, they will never respond to you in a positive way.

[DrunkAss]

I had as a kid in Japan -- we played in each other's houses. Then went to other parts of the world including the US growing up and got all confused between "girls have cooties" and that overly romantic pedestal stuff. Took a while for me to get used to the prospect again -- but definitely makes everything easier with both friendship and dating of the opposite sex.

[ChefPapiChulo]

You think it’s a culture thing?

[DrunkAss]

I think so -- like this "cooties" concept was very new to me. Also just with my childhood, the Famicom in Japan was targeted to both sexes almost equally. So lots of girls like video games, guys like video games, and so we play at each other's houses. Builds relationships early and before puberty gives us tunnel-visioned ideas about the opposite sex. Then I went to the US and I see Nintendo targeted mostly towards boys with boyish commercials and available in boys section of Toys R'Us. Some years after, I see all these magazines at the grocery store like, "The Top 50 Secret Things Guys Want" or something like that written by some woman, and I flip through it out of curiosity and it seems totally bogus like she barely had any male friends all her life. Without this type of cultural interference, I think it is quite natural for guys and girls to be friends. And in Japan, sexual jokes usually aren't so offensive -- girls can laugh at those rather than be offended since they're used to spending all their lives being close to guys... In the US, I typically only find that with exceptional girls like ones who grew up with many brothers.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Possibly. I think most of misunderstandings come from not being able to relate to someone. So I agree with your observation on the importance of understanding and getting to know the opposite sex. It’s not just about rushing to see what’s under the blouse. Most likely if that is a persons only goal, they’ll never see it come into fruition.

[DrunkAss]

I think it helps here that, just culturally, boys and girls starting from a young age are encouraged to do that with lots of interests that they tend to share in common. By puberty, probably almost every guy in every culture wants to sneak some peeks under the blouse, but it helps if we had some years before that to get used to hanging out and having fun and talking to each other. For sexual desire though, I never found it that big a deal. I'm confused when people on here say that makes things impossible for friendship. I think a "crush" makes that impossible, but not a semi because I saw a hot female friend of mine bend over. That's not gonna make me jealous when she flirts with other guys or introduces me to her boyfriend. I don't know -- it seems especially common in Western cultures for guys to conflate sexual interest with something much more. Just sexual interest is something we should be able to have towards total strangers. It's not committing or something that should make us act all weird.

[ChefPapiChulo]

I used to go over to me female friends house and play Mario cart growing up. She was one of the most attractive girls in my grade and so were her friends. We’d also go swimming together where I got to see them in tiny bikinis. While I was sexually attracted to them, I never let that get in the way of how I treated them. Which was with respect. So you are not wrong, that growing up with girls and having common interest I. e swimming and gaming, helped me on later in life being able to understand and obtain women.

[DrunkAss]

It seems very practical to me. We master hanging out with girls, talking to them, having good times -- and that carries over to everything else including the sexual and romantic. It seems totally backward to prioritize the latter before a guy gets the hang of the former.

[Adam1978]

No point in being scared for things that is extremely unlikely to happen, be prepared and let that extremely low chance no longer affect your life. If you count the number of women and the number of nights and compare it to the number of women that get raped on their way to the car you will see how silly that fear is. Have pepperspray ready if you feel you need it, and it's legal in your end of the world. Take some self-defense classes, if you want to prepare even further. The guys that rape is a tiny minority of men, stop harming all relationships just because you are afraid and can't act according to the risks. The male teacher that abuse their powers are also very special cases and there is already laws in place to handle them. Just report the crime if detected. No more actions is needed. So no changes is needed, only more civil courage and that is something society is killing right now, not encouraging.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Sweden has one of the highest rape statistics

[Adam1978]

No you are comparing oranges to apples, if the the statistics isn't reported the same way the can't be compared. In sweden each act is counted not the number of crime reports like in yours. So any comparison will be flawed. Rapes are not common in sweden, they are very rare if you compare with other countries.

[Hangry22]

Yes it would be. Now everything is about sex.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Yup.

[Curmudgeon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfTxnt30-DE

[ChefPapiChulo]

You couldn’t pay me to watch something like that.

[Curmudgeon]

But that is his point. The traditional sexual rules have broken down, and now we are in a place where it is sexually anarchic.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Okay. Well I want sexuality to go away altogether unless it’s for reproductive reasons.

[DavidFox]

Nope, without sexuality there will be less creativity and art in the world, less innovation.

[ChefPapiChulo]

When I make an argument I like to go from A to B. You went from A to Y to G.

[DavidFox]

True. It’s because I was giving an answer, wasn’t interested in arguing. I’ve learned often times people on here like to ‘win arguments’ and that’s boring to me. I’d rather answer the question directly.

[genericname85]

nope, cause humans would still be the same disgusting pricks xD

[COMMODOREII]

Maybe more like if people stopped treating sex as something taboo.

[pizzalovershouse]

If we could turn it down i say you mite see less kids ever born an more problems sex isn't the problem its the people who dont care about realationships an only want sex

[bclbn77006]

I think love exists because sex is there.
so, without sex life becomes boring.

[Anonymous]

No, the world would rather be a better place if SJWs stopped bitching at anything even remotely attractive to straight men.

[Anonymous]

The world would be a better place for sure, but that's never going to happen. Men are never going to stop viewing women in a sexual way, because testosterone. And women are never going to stop deliberately sexualizing themselves because they want the attention and it gives them power over men. With those facts in mind, and considering the realities of today's media and the internet, it ain't never gonna change.

[ChefPapiChulo]

You’re wrong about testosterone by the way. You’re thinking of libido. Which is sometimes linked to high testosterone but not always.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Also not all women want to be objectified or are attention seeking. That is you excusing inappropriate behavior from rude men.

[Opinion Owner]

You clearly need to educate yourself on the connection between testosterone and male libido. lol I was not excusing anything, simply stating facts. Sorry they hurt your butt.

[ChefPapiChulo]

A fact is an objective truth. All you’ve provided are biased opinions.

[Opinion Owner]

True, but my opinions in this case just happen to be consistent with the objective facts. It's up to you to educate yourself though.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Education of the right kind is meant to help you. Not cripple your point of view, with a misleading narrative. You say all women are attention seeking and enjoy being objectified? Great. Go tell that to your mother and see how she responds.

[Opinion Owner]

Nope, I didn't say that. Perhaps learning to read would be the best place for you to start on your education journey? Just a thought.

[ChefPapiChulo]

And women are never going to stop deliberately sexualizing themselves because they want the attention and it gives them power over men.

[Opinion Owner]

OK, so you can read a bit. That's good. Now work on your comprehension. I'll help you out a little this time but I won't always be here to hold your hand. Nowhere did I say anything about "all women", but there are obviously plenty who sexualize themselves and do it for attention and the power it gives them over men. If you haven't noticed that, you should come on down to planet Earth and observe it for yourself.

[ChefPapiChulo]

Maybe your problem is your inability to write. You said “women”. Not some women, or certain women. But now that you’ve clarified, from your original, poorly written statement, I can understand your point a little better. And to that, I would say it’s a very small population of females who would fit that description. Such a small percentage, I consider your statement to be borderline, if not outright misogynistic

[Anonymous]

Yes , if it meant a great reduction in , or better still , removal of the male sex drive. Female drive is much lower and less problematic , this is because of testosterone levels. No wonder most women have a low opinion of men with all the thirsty idiot / simp males around , giving ALL of us a bad name.

[ChefPapiChulo]

What’s funny is that those guys will call you a simp if you tell them they’re too thirsty. Like no bro, my entire life doesn’t revolve around busting a nut. I have hobbies that preoccupy my time.

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed !! Oh the irony , and hypocrisy. From your user name , your hobbies are culinary , right? At least that is a hobby in demand , that can also be a business & money maker , big money if Michelin Star level.

[ChefPapiChulo]

I’m but a young padawn in the game of cooking.