Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it irrational that I want my future husband to appreciate the fact that I saved myself for him?

I made a question about this topic. 150+ people shared their opinions. Didn't expect that lol. Some of them expressed negativity on men valuing female virginity.
They even called such men misognynists (people who hate all women)
I am an abstinent virgin. I want my FUTURE non virgin husband to appreciate being my first man. It turns out those people are against men appreciating female virginity which means they dislike the idea of my future husband appreciating my virginity.
Some questions
1) who is compatiable with me on this stance? (I value my virginity)
a) the man who appreciates being my first b) the man who doesn't care about being my first
2) What should his views about my virginity to be for you not to view him negatively? (I want him to value my virginity)

Look if I value saving myself for the man I will love then isn't it logical that I would want him to appreciate being my first man too?
Why is it not okay that a man appreciates what his virgin girlfriend does?
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • I am guessing you are religious. So what you are doing is a good thing in the eyes of the Lord. If you serve him you are doing the right thing. Our society has become hardened by all the sexualization of men and women and our values have declined. I will probably say this a thousand times on here. You do you, forget what others think. I would be honored if you saved yourself for me, but in reality you are doing for the Lord and other than yourself, he is the only one you should worry about. I would pray I had the same fortitude. There are still men out there that believe that. You are looking in the wrong places it sounds like. Church Is where you meet those types of men. I guess you could say I am a reborn virgin. I have not had sex in over 25 years and I do not miss it. Because I want the next time to be with my wife. I have my reasons for this. I will wait until someone special comes into my life. I have waited 16 years for one woman. it is time to move on and I think I may have found someone even more special than her and I hope and pray I do not fuck it up. But in recent weeks because of battling my promise to this other woman. My word is all I really have to offer anyone at this point in my life. But I think I have given the other woman her opportunity to grow. Like they say" if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was always yours, if not it never really was. My battle then became why did she never come back? was it because she did not love me or was it because she felt she waited to long and did things she feels I could not understand. But I came to the conclusion It is her loss, if she could not even give me a chance by talking about it, she never really loved me. So I am moving on , but in the process and confusion, I think I may have thrown something better away because of a vow I made all those years ago. I hope and pray this one gives me the chance to prove myself, that is all I can ask for. Sorry if that went off topic, but I wanted you to know I know how you feel, I serve the Lord now and I feel this is what Jesus would have wanted me to do. I applaud you and am proud to have the opportunity to get to know a person like myself. The next time I have sex, it will be with my wife if I am that lucky, and If I still have a chance with this other girl. I made a promise to her and myself, she is the one I wanted to take my new found virginity. I have a feeling she is still a virgin herself. If not I have no issue with it. Life is hard and temptation is every where, That is what makes you special to be able to do that in today's society is a miracle to me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, you didn't need to write anything else, just your question at the top, it is completely irrational, everyone has different values, and honestly if I got into bed with you after hanging out, and having some dinners casually with no expectation, I'm getting excited, we're both grown ass grown ups. Then "I've been saving myself until now" I'd laugh it off like ok, you had a crush since we met.

    It's a applaudable thing to save yourself for the man you love if you don't set your standards so impossible high that you haven't found a hint of him in 13 years, well, a little longer if you had any interests in high school, but let's just count the time since you were an adult.

    I don't view men wanting virgins one way or the other, that's their preference. On your end, it's time to lower your standards some, how much longer are you going to wait to find perfection that doesn't exist?

    • Perfection turns me on 🤗

    • Ok, as long as you realize never finding it is the likely outcome, I wish you good luck, truly.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you're depressed and too tense, I get that energy from your posts and comments. You need a massage while listening to some relaxing music, time out with some friends who don't talk about religion and virginity all the time and while you're at it join a sports team or join the gym. Don't drive yourself crazy obsessing over your virginity and future husband, because trust me you will be disappointed and I don't say that to be mean.

    Here's a little story about a young girl who obsessed over saving herself too. Even though she was not as crazy about it as you are, placing most of her value on her hymen was so ridiculous that the universe decided to take it away from her to teach her a lesson.

    So one day she met a stranger introduced to her by a friend, he offered to give her a ride but instead took her to his home and raped her. She ended up dating the guy to keep from confronting what really happened to her, because she refused to believe she had her innocence forcibly taken away after having all these plans of being a virgin bride.

    That girl was me by the way. And now I watch men drag people like myself on here for not being virgins, knowing a lot of these men on here are guilty of forcing themselves on other women, or capable of doing the same thing to other girls as that guy did to me I feel bad for girls like you, as you have no idea who men are, they don't even know who they are.

    Let me requote a meme I found online "the definition of hypocrisy is men forcing, manipulating, and intimidating women into having sex as early as possible, then criticizing women for having too much sex as early as possible". I am thirty three years old and still face anger, spite and sabotage from men who cannot sleep with me, especially since I refuse to date since I'm independent and need no one. These are the same men who claim that women who especially look like me are wh.. res, they do not know what they want, and are very mentally unstable, you need to at least keep a level head for your future children and those around who will need you, so stop sweating the small stuff and woman up, obsessing over virginity is childish behavior.

    Oh and another thing, the older you get the thinner your hymen gets, therefore the longer you keep it, the more it disappears. Men are so shallow and misinformed, you may end up getting accused of lying by the time you wed, tata darling.

    • I'm not depressed. I would be if I had a breakup or a one night stand. But it looks like you wish I were. Maybe my views hurt you and you want me to be hurt too? I only want to see what kind of arguments feminists will use to claim that my future husband should not value being my first MSN. In real life I've never met one guy who would think non virgins are better. All of them value female virginity. I challenge feminists and people like them on social media. It's fun to watch thrm try harder to push their ideas that fit their agendas. I'm sorry for what happened to you.

    • You are crazy and need medication, sounds like you've experienced abuse at home in come form and probably not a virgin for real. A lot of fake virgins who fear being found out acts just like you, neurotic and irrational, and always trying to prove something, God help that husband of yours and future children, girl bye I feel sorry for you, mental illness is something to be taken seriously and cannot be prayed away.

  • Well, IF you saved yourself for your future husband, and you were dating a guy who did NOT appreciate it, WHY WOULD YOU MARRY HIM? So NO, it’s not irrational. In fact it should be one of the most important factors in deciding whom you WILL marry! Good for you for saving yourself! I always planned on saving myself for marriage, but getting raped and getting pregnant on my 13th birthday... kinda put a damper on my plan!

    • You are still pure to me. Did you have the child?

    • Thank you Marish! That was a beautiful thing to say, and it meant a lot to me! As for the resulting pregnancy... NO! The rapist was a blood relative, (Uncle) during the time period this was happening, I was 4ft 8. And weighed about 88 lbs. The pregnancy if carried to term could possibly have killed me, or at least there was a huge likelihood that I would be unable to have any other children. I often hear that people are against abortion “unless in cases of rape, incest, or if the life or health of the mother is at risk!” I was ALL THREE! But if I am being honest, for the sake of my mental well-being, I just needed any trace of him out of me! I was actually pro-life until I had to think about a world where I would be forced to carry my rapists child to term!

    • I am still pro life. What happened to you is horrible but I don't want you to think you are unlucky or don't deserve love. Don't get your bad experiences shape your future.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

What is it about sex that keeps you comming back for more?
What part of your body do you dislike the most?
Can a rich man fuck any woman he wants?
Should I be concerned that I got a boner seeing my cousin in a swimsuit?

What Girls & Guys Said

7 28

  • it sounds romantic and all but in this life men will cheat on you so fast and saving yourself is just a waste... be true to yourself... meet a man you truly love make it work.

    • It's a huge turn on not just romantic

    • It's a waste? What do you advise me?

    • your doing too much to save yourself... you may wind up with a guy who doesn't take marriage serious as you... i advise just live your life day to day and if you meet someone you someone... but saving yourself isn't a turn on for you if it's with the wrong guy... what if the guy you save yourself for does you then goes out to get cigarettes then meets another woman in his car... then your saving yourself goes out the window... i believe in dreams but men will let you down so often it's not even funny... go out with your friends Friday if you live in a place where your allowed out... no pressure and no judgement but just have fun.

    • Show All

  • Before I answer your question let me say you are not wrong for think that way. Don't let others drag your desires down. Honestly I don't see why appreciating a girl giving her virginity to a guy and him appreciating it is even remotely misogynistic. Be careful whom you give your virginity to because we live in a world with many less than honorable people, both men and women.

    Now to answer your questions:

    1) I am a person who believes your first time should be special. Based on that I say the man who appreciates being your first is your best compatibility.

    2) If he appreciates it, preferably admires you for your dedication, then I wouldn't be negative about him.

    Honestly just ignore the naysayers and carry on with what you believe in. You're entitled to your beliefs and dreams as they are, so don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

    • No one can convincr me or change my mind. I want to explore the mentality of those who are bitter by people who value virginity. It's fun to watch them how hard they try to change my mind 😁

  • If you feel your virginity is something to be valued so much, it's because you probably had a hard time staying a virgin.
    For example, when we go through so much stress to get a good job, that job becomes very valuable to us.

    • No. I am disgusted by the idea of having sex with any man unless he us my husband. Trust me it is not hard at all

    • Well i have no idea why people value it so much if it isn't so hard to keep it. I am sure a guy who is crazy about a virgin wife will appreciate you

    • Why would the man whom I chose think it is worthless that I chose him?

    • Show All

  • No its not irrational. Most guys do appreciate it.

  • It's logical for you to want that, but don't be surprised when you don't get that.

    I also think it's a mistake to wait.

    • When I don't get what? So you advise me not to wait?

    • I know it sounds horrible, but yes, I don't think you should wait. I know a married woman who waited, and she then found out he won't perform oral in her. He expects it, but he won't give it. Now she's stuck with him. And there are married couples who have completely different sex drives. That will end in animosity towards the partner who's constantly being rejected.

    • But I am disgusted by the idea of having sex before marriage. Besides I want to have only one sexual partner for my whole life

    • Show All

  • I don't think that it is completely irrational, but sexual compatibility is so important and if you wait until you are married and get into a sexless marriage you are setting yourself up for despair and failure.

    • You said it is not completely irrational. So what is irrational about wanting him to appreciate it?

    • I can understand the ideology of how a man could appreciate you saving yourself for him. However the risk of a lack of sexual compatibility (because you never tried it with him) and the potential of being stuck in a loveless sexless marriage outweighs this possible benefit, in my opinion.

    • LoveLESS sexLESS LOL What makes you think I will marry a random guy whom i have absolutely no feelings for?

    • Show All

  • It's stupid and small minded of you to place so much value on that factor alone and nothing else.

    Your virginity means nothing to a future husband, if you are a shitty cook, no personality and cannot look or present yourself well.

    • What makes you think that is the only requirment?

  • My guy waited for me and he loved that I was pure and wholesome

  • Have fun with incel husband

    • What kind of husband would be the best choice? The one who thinks he is not worthy of me?

    • Nothing do my comment. No guy thats not a virgin will care if you virgin or not. past Sexlife isn't that important unless u got like above 15 bodys

    • Me- I rejected all the men who approached me because I wanted to share intimacy only with the man whom I love and who loves me. Him-ok. I don't care about it at all. Is this ok?

    • Show All

  • Nope! That's the kind of person you're looking for and preparing for. It can even be worth expecting him to be a virgin too, but in any case you are looking for a man who values you saving yourself for him. Other people don't value this, and in the interest of propagating their culture, don't want you to want it either, or anyone else.

    People don't want the same things in relationships. That's fine. Know what you want and let other people know so that you don't waste each other's time.

  • you can definitely find a man that will appreciate that. I think most men would appreciate that as a nice bonus. even though a lot of men won't expect that.

  • There's nothing irrational about decisions that you're allowed to make about your own life. It's your personal business.

  • You are entitled to any stance you choose, but just know you're a hypocrite, and a big one at that.
    You make a HUGE point of your own self chosen virginity, and how the man you marry MUST appreciate the gift you think you are giving him. Yet, you don't appreciate, or even allow, that he could feel the SAME about his own virginity and expect YOU to as well. Hence, you are a major hypocrite.

    • I can't even imagine he might be a virgin. And MUST is a wrong word. There are guys who are turned on or value female virginity and this doesn't come from obligation lol

    • YOU are the one who once said "must" as a necessary quality. But that point is irrelevant... you are still a hypocrite.

    • When? I won't marry a man who doesn't value it

    • Show All

  • I am virgin and I want a virgin wife preferably

  • "Who is compatible with me?". You're not seeking compatibility. You want the opposite of what you are. (Lord knows why...)

    • Sometimes opposite is what creates compatiability

    • Can you explain why you think that would make you two compatible?

  • Not really; it's only right----just don't nag him about it.

    • I won't talk about it. I am sure if he values it he will say it or at least show

  • It's not irrational at all. It's quite the commitment and is certainly something deserving of appreciation.

    • I know but it's fun to see how feminists and the left gets angry that I praise it. Look at newshead's comment. She blocked me. Why? I didn't called her names. But I had to tag her on another user's opinion. You can find my comeback if you read the replies

    • Didn't call

  • Not at all irrational. I want my future wife to feel the same. Yeah I’ve had sex once but that was a long time ago and I’ve been true to my intentions ever since. It does take more willpower for a woman though so it says a lot about her, very respectable

  • It's not a bad idea for women to save themselves most women these days are practically whores after I develop and by the time they get to 20 they've already had more sex experience then a guy has

  • I am not opposed to a nonvirgin marrying a virgin. Nor am I against him appreciating that he is her first. Honestly every time anyone has sex with a virgin (even another one) you should appreciate you are that person's first. I consider it mysiginistic when virginity determines who you date. You won't date nonvirgin while you aren't a virgin.

    • Oh ok. I mean a guy who prefers virgins over non virgins but dates non virgins because he hasn't met a virgin is still viewed negatively in the eyes of many feminists.

    • It's fine to seek a virgin if you are one. If you aren't, you shouldn't care about the girl's virginity.

    • If my boyfriend is not a virgin then he shouldn't care about my virginity? (I want him to care)

    • Show All
  • Show More (15)

Latest Questions

Guys, what makes a guy who's in a relationship think it's ok to watch porn after saying he'll stop? ?
New positions in bed?
Can a man have sexual intercourse with a woman he doesn't like?
Ever fantasized about a teacher?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Is it irrational that I want my future husband to appreciate the fact that I saved myself for him?