Is it fair to break up because you can't achieve vaginal orgasm?

We have been together for three years and he is my first partner. I haven't managed to orgasm through penetration. I understand many women't don't, and it's not his fault. We have tried everything but at this point we've both just given up on my vaginal orgasm. I can cum through clitoral stimulation, and he provides that - after he's done, and by the time he is, I already lose all interest because I just don't feel anything by then.
I used to rub my clit during sex, but in all his favourite positions it's kinda clumsy, and I feel like, if I have to do all the work by myself, then I can just masturbate rather than going through all the work for sex that brings me nothing. At the beginning stage of the relationship I was thinking 'oh well, I at least enjoy the closeness' but that's dwindled now.
Also, he hates when I am not clean shaven. I prefer it trimmed, waxing is painful and shaving is a hassle that gives me rash. I do it for him, but I really don't want to anymore.
Tbh I was a lot more sexually satisfied when I was single and only masturbated. At least I knew it would always end in orgasm. And now... it's like exercising for years and not getting any results ever.

Is it selfish to break up over this? He is an amazing person and a great partner, and I don't really want a break up. But I really don't want sex anymore either, and it's not fair to try to keep him in sexless relationship.

TL;DR Can't cum during sex, is it fair to break up over this?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Only 20% of women can achieve orgasm through penetration alone. There are very few nerve ending beyond the first 11/2" of your pussy, On the other hand, your clit has more nerve endings than any part of whether a man or woman's anatomy. It is the only human organ designed solely for pleasure as it serves no other purpose other than being acutely sensitive. Tell him and don't be afraid to ask him to go down on you, Oral and manual stimulation of the clit will likely get you off if he knows what he's doing.
    If he refuses- and he may since he already seems controlling with his insistence on you being clean shaven- than it is perfectly understandable to break off the relationship. Good luck and may god grant you the orgasms you desire

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd suggest that you start by talking to him about it. Here're some tips on doing that below. I'd also suggest you consult a couple's therapist. This may be easily resolved with the right help

    How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well the shaving thing is wrong. It's. Your choice if you want hair on your privates.

    Vaginal orgasm is better achieved in certain positions and better to refrain from any vaginal penetration other than vaginal sex. Doggie position really helps. 🙂

    Leaving for small issues like this is not right. Try communicating more.

  • Uh. Not well the original reason isn't enough but, what you are actually breaking up with him for is his inability to change it up so you both get something out of it. Lots of women can't cum from just penetration. Selfish sex isn't cool.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 12
  • But here is the thing you may simply not be able to maybe see someone about it as u may be wanting something thats simply not achievable for you apart from that if u are unhappy about other things talk to him about it

    • That's my point exactly... I know it's not his fault. But I can't help myself, I lost all interest in sex, while he now wants sex more than ever.

    • Then maybe you should if its somthing you wouldn't be able to compromise on i. e you wanting sex or him being happy without sex have u not tied to use toys in bed also to help or maybe stimulate u with forplay beforehand then have sex after?

  • Are you asking permission? He’s obviously not the lover for you. You aren’t sexually compatible. Somewhere there is a guy who will rock your world.

  • Tell him to get you off before you get him off. If you can still get off on clitoral stimulation them us a vibrator while he eats you out or use it on your clit while he is penetrating you. That's the best bet.

  • You could try to see a sex therapist before breaking up if you feel like the relationship is worth it. I would recommend you both go and see what a professional can help with.

    • Thanks, I'll suggest it to him

    • Hope that helps!

  • you made the right decision

  • Practice makes perfect in my experience

    • Does 3 years of practice sound enough?

    • Well I that case please feel free to explore other options and experiences lol

  • Try getting on top

    • Think we haven't tried that in three years?

    • How would I know what you tried? Whatever it is, your not trying hard enough.

  • Fair. Get out now. It will end up not good. Possible cheating down the road.

  • What planet?

  • Omg this is so bad but dont worry please

    • Now I worry even more! "Hey honey I wanna break up because I hate having sex with you, although it's not your fault I can't cum?" Yeah sounds fun.

    • do you think this is an excuse

    • Not an excuse but it's a reason.

    • Show All
  • From experience before I met someone I always enjoyed masturbation. When it came to sex I always had sexual performance anxiety and didn't really enjoyed it. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy being in a relationship because you prefer masturbation. There 're other fun things a couple can do.

  • I guess if you’re not happy in that area and since you’re young then maybe find a better way or someone else