Sexual Relationships
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Degrading sex... Does it affect your relationship?

I'm a virgin actually so I have no idea on real life experience but recently I heard an ASMR video where he was saying degrading words and it actually turned me on a lot and the way he talks was just so primal. I'm not sure will I practice this kind of play with the person I'm going to marry or will it affect the way he treats me in normal times. So I want to know your experiences about this if you ever tried it, did it affect your relationship with your SO afterwards
Side note I have a strong personality and not one who would normally accept any kind of this in normal life but it's just different when it comes to thinking of sex
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Like any BDSM or "alternative lifestyle"-type sex, it's VERY important that you're dealing with a person who is emotionally mature and is able to communicate openly and honestly with you about sex. Many people, especially when they're younger, just aren't good at this, and some people really never grow up in this respect, ever, so the choice of partner is especially important.

    But, with a good partner, you can explain that you enjoy and get turned on by things in the bedroom that are NOT who you are or how you think OUTSIDE the bedroom, and if that person is reasonably emotionally mature, they're not going to have a problem understanding that distinction. In fact, people who are experienced in the BDSM world tend to be pretty comfortable with exactly that kind of thing, because many people have various kinks that the enjoy in the bedroom but don't want that to leave the bedroom, and don't want to be judged for it outside the bedroom either. If the BDSM community didn't respect that, it more-or-less wouldn't be able to exist.

    That isn't to say that you couldn't find an emotionally mature, open-minded person with no BDSM experience who would totally understand this - you definitely could - it's just that BDSM folks tend to be equipped with this knowledge already, so that could make things easier.

  • It will always have an effect, whether it's good or bad comes down to communication and respect. I absolutely love being dominant and engaging in degradation and humiliation. However it isn't fun if my partner isn't on board.

    • I'm afraid it makes it easier for him to maybe slap or degrade me outside the bedroom since he already broke that barrier before, is that the case for you?

    • I have not been in a relationship where I have been able to explore it, unfortunately. That said I would think that clear boundaries would be established, and that it would be entirely sexual. Thus not something that would occur outside of the situation.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There are women who love to be degraded during sex. The woman I'm currently seeing loves it when she is called a slut and whore in the bedroom. She also likes to be thrown around, slapped, hair pulled, and torchered. I would never call her name's or abuse her in public or outside of the bedroom. From my understanding, it is a real turn on for her as well as a lot of other women.

  • Assuming you have clear communication about your sexual interests with your partner ans they are mature enough to respect your boundaries and understand this is only wanted during some sexual encounters not outside of that it’s not problem at all!

  • Knowing what makes you wet is important in your sexuality.

  • Sauce pls?

  • Text me for experience

  • BDSM will in fact, has its side effects.

    I believe that we as humans, should abstain from certain practices even if these practices are enjoyable to us.. in order to preserve our sublimity and self-respect.

    If I ever get married, all my sexual interactions will be natural. This way, our relationship will remain as sublime as it should, and neither of us will lose self-respect.

    You have to remember that we human are weak, none of us is ultimately powerful and sometimes, our brains can beat us. That's why self-control helps us regulate our thoughts and feelings towards others.

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