Well, luckily I'm more into dominant girls
Although I now realize I'm not in a position to choose xd
Eh, in my opinion you're always in the position to be as picky as you like, it's your life after all, nobody can force you into a relationship. That said if you're too submissive to choose then that's on you, you can either try to become lore dominant or look for a woman who will accept you as you are.
I don't really see myself becoming more dominant but maybe it would be easier than to find a dominant girl as I don't know too many of them
You never know, I feel like dominance is a subset of confidence, or at least ego. I lack confidence but I love dominance (or at least the idea of it, I don't mind the idea of equal control in the bedroom but the idea of being controlled turns me off), most women I've dated were highly submissive, but they were also long distance or else I probably wouldn't be a virgin. Sorry if I went TMI.
My meaning with the first sentence is that I think dominance can probably be acquired just like confidence. I don't know though, I was sexually abused too so Im not sure if that plays a part in my sexual preferences or not, I don't have the desire to abuse (my definition of abuse here is a little loose, some of my exs were masochists so I view abuse as intentionally doing something that you know they wouldn't desire, if you know she likes it and it turns her on, it's not abuse xD) others but after what happened I really don't think I have any desire to let others control me.
I've thought a lot about losing my virginity to a prostitute but I've never taken the step, although I've been very close while having some confidence crisis. If I finally do it, do you think I should tell her I'm a virgin?I don't really have "social" problems, just "love" problems. I have lots of male and female friends and a normal social life but I'm just too shy to dare to try anything with a girl.Also, I'm not sure about lying about my partners, because, as if you say, I meet my "true love" I would have to lie to her during my whole life
That's cause your submissive af though lmfao. Wouldn't going for prostitutes be more dangerous becuse of STDs and the fact that it's illegal?True love? First of all what does that even mean? Second, if it's a true love (I'm assuming that implies that she loves you back) then wouldn't she be able to see past this flaw?Obviously you gotta lie to the suissive partners, if a submissive partner has more experience and has to teach/lead then it will be a huge turn off.His social problem preventing him from having sex seems to be the fact that he admits to being a virgin. Tbh my advice would be to lie, the vast majority of women will never be able to tell, especially if you have confidence.
Mojo, you can tell the prostitute if you want but it will probably not make any difference. Prostitutes typically don't care about your life story, they're just making a living.
You don't have to lie to her your whole life, just the first time... maybe the first few times. Once you've experienced it and gotten rid of the V-card, women don't really care, the label is just very immasculating.As for shyness, I personally go through really bad shyness and social anxiety, to the point where I often even struggle to make new friends, because I'm too scared that I'll say the wrong thing and make a fool of myself/push others away, so I just say nothing instead. Personally, I suggest trying to overcome your shyness, it will probably never go away, but you can try to hide it or overcome it temporarily. Give yourself some compliments before you go out, increase your confidence, and then just accept that you're going to make a fool out of yourself and just roll with it. Also, tell yourself that people will like you despite your flaws/shyness, a little confidence really can go a looong way.
Bro... again, straight up, as a girl that's independent and intelligent (my iq is 125) i promise you, if you haven't had sex by 21 it means you have hickups in your personality. And even if your hickups are "i respect women too much" are problematic. I don't want a guy that will be submissive towards me or do whatever i say, so dude, either fucking be assertive or just get a hooker and fuck her so you know what you're doing and you know sex isn't a big ass fucking deal. fr, i see your point but its not realistic irl.
I don't understand why anyone downvoted this answer, because @EmoKate97 said exactly what's going through any woman's mind in a situation like that. Women are programmed to look for signs that men aren't desirable mates and lack of success with women previously is a pretty strong indication that something is off. She's not going to bother investigating further, because the reason you haven't had sex yet isn't any of her business. What sucks is that your shot with a woman can be destroyed by the smallest thing; so the problem might not even be you. I just had a fantastic quasi-romantic relationship with a woman get destroyed because (and I wish I was making this up), I sent a comment to an instagram account we both follow. That person didn't like what I said. So he took a screenshot of my comment, misconstrued what I said, and then tattled on me to all of our mutual followers. I've been talking with that woman for a little over a year. We were decent friends, working towards becoming lovers before this moment. All it took was an oversensitive dickhead to sabotage everything.
@EmoKate97 I don't question your independence or intelligence, I'm just saying you are submissive in bed, which is totally different. Nice iq, I don't care enough to remember mine, it's really just a meaningless number.I promise YOU, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact many people intentionally wait until marriage. Regardless, I don't think being shy or different is a bad thing, I get that you disagree because you don't like shy men but that's just your personal feelings, it doesn't speak for all women. by the way I spoke to a female 29 year old virgin today, what do you think the hickup in her personality was?Well ofcourse you think that's problematic, you like being abused, you want a man who will tie you down and punish you for being so naughty. Nothing wrong with that, but you have to understand that not everyone is the same as you are.That's fine, if you don't like submissive guys then you do you, boo. I wasn't trying to pressure you to change your preferences, I said "you gotta lie to the submissive partners", but meant it more like, "virgin men have to lie to the submissive partner". Tbh I don't know much about how submissive men think so I don't know if they feel the same but from my experience submissive women hate virgins, the label removes masculinity from the guy which destroys the woman's attraction to him.I guess so, I've never been with a prostitute and would personally rather be a virgin. I'm not entirely sure why, because the danger of it isn't a problem, I've done wayyy stupider shit, I think it just turns me on to know I turn a woman on, and prostitutes can't do that for me. I can agree with the be assertive part, but not all guys are the same, not all dominant men care about casual sex.
If sex isn't a big ass deal then why would I need to have sex with a prostitute? It seems to me like sex is a pretty big deal when you judge people so harshly based on whether or not they're virgins. Again, no problem with you prefering it, but be honest with your feelings then and just say that it's a big deal to you.Perhaps therapy might be a good idea if you genuinely like being treated poorly by men you date, but I don't know for sure.I've ranted a lot already but one final thing, I just wanted to know how you would feel being with a guy who was rather shy in public but dominant in the bedroom?
@winterfox10 I certainly didn't downvote her, but don't assume she speaks for all women. Women are not programmed, they are born, just like men, we are all individuals.You should probably go into therapy if I'm honest, you seem to have a toxic idea of relationships, but more importantly it will help you get over your ex and work on your personality, cause tbh I think you got a couple personality traits you need to work on. Not to be rude, but I'd say ego and taking responsibility are your biggest issues, but I don't know for sure, a therapist could help you more, you just seem like you're not over it, most likely either you still care about her or your ego was severely hurt.
@devilman666 i want to say that i apricate the thought that goes into your your post, i'd think you're cool IRL, but if you're replying to this thread then obviously you hack some sort of hickups, thing is, i'm trying to help legit dudes with their introversion, if you're not introverted then you don't need help even tho most people in this thread are. that said on an off chance, bro, just lose your veganity to a hooker, legit there's no shame in it, even ask that hooker for advice, legitimately, and i mean this from the bottom of my heart, it would make me feel so weird if i took a dudes virginity
@devilman666 So the relationship thing actually just happened, and I do have a sense of personal responsibility about it, but I'm also a big fan of recounting events as they actually happened.. I'm not sure how familiar you are with things that I've written to have any kind of perception about my personality. I'm actually a huge advocate of taking ownership in life.
@EmoKate97 Wait... was that kamikazebywords? XD you said if I'm replying then I must have some sort of hickup, which means you would also need a hickup since you're here too. Thanks though, I appreciate you saying I seem cool. Yeah, I do have issues, been working on them for a while in an attempt to improve myself. I'm able to be somewhat normal online but I'm introverted af irl, nothing wrong with introversion though, it's just means that you find large crowds of people tiresome instead of energizing. Anyways, point is I'm aware of my issues and working on fixing them.Nah, I'm not going to go fuck a hooker just because you want me to. I might be a shy introvert, but I live my life how I want, and I don't want to fuck a hooker. If you don't want to hear it then just be honest about that, for example, you could always tell him during the first date, "look, I don't want you to read into it to much, but if you're a virgin then just lie to me about it.", or you can just date men and then leave whenever it comes up that they are/were a virgin, if it comes up. Up to you, just saying you would probably be better off being honest about it, just to avoid ruining a date with a guy you could have like if he wasn't a virgin.
(Cont.) You understand your feelings on virginity are all in your head, right? Chances are you wouldn't even know if you fucked a virgin, chances are you already have and he just never told you because it's embarrassing for a lot of men to admit it. Men don't even have clear signs for when they lose their virginity, so what does it even change? Why would it weird you out to know you took a dude's virginity? What's the difference between sex with a virgin and sex with a non-virgin? Also, if you find out after you've fucked him then it really shouldn't matter, might make you embarrassed when you think back on the first time with him but after it's out of the way, he's not a virgin anymore so it shouldn't be a problem anymore, right?Also, I don't need help but I came here primarily to help the asker. Then I saw your comment and I wanted to respond, so I did.
@winterfox10 that makes sense. I don't know much about you or how you take responsibility, I mostly said that cause you put all the blame on this third wheel, when your actions probably also played a role in the sequence of events.Tbh, my long term memory is kinda fucked, even if I have read your other articles, I dont remember them. Regardless, I checked out your profile just now, seems to me like you just need to move on. I don't know her political opinions or yours because you tried your hardest to hide them. All I can say is either find someone more similar to yourself politically, or else maybe don't go starting drama on twitter? I don't know, I personally avoid most social media, I like meaningful discussions and they typically don't happen on twitter or facebook.Tbh though I really don't know what to tell you beyond what I've already said, I don't feel like I have enough info to be able to really draw a conclusion.
That's fine, but for men I think it's typically a bit more dangerous to admit something like that. Some women are fine with it, some women even prefer it, but there are a lot of submissive women who are turned off as soon as they hear that he is a virgin.
@devilman666 Admit? It's not a crime... If a woman is turned off by that, it's a good way to find out she's not worth it.
I mean, I can see your point, but I can mostly understand why submissive women would want him to be experienced. Society views losing your virginity as a rite of passage for men, so men who can't lose their virginity must have a problem that makes them unattractive to other women (that's the assumption), plus these women view dominance, assertiveness and confidence as masculine, so if you're a virgin then you're less masculine and therefore less attractive.Tl;dr it is kinda shallow, but in my view everyone has the right to be at least somewhat shallow.
The other girl who commented here is like that. I just think it's one of those false connections we make in the brain, confidence and virginity are not linked, but our society is so focused on sex that it seems like the only people who could be virgins as adults are people who lack confidence.
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