It's a legitimate concern - be thankful that he actually cares about your feelings, because plenty of guys would have gone ahead with it to get laid even knowing your feelings would be hurt afterwards.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't go for it - at 29, you've waited more than long enough - but you DO need to know that it's common for girls to fall in love with the guys they sleep with, even if they didn't intend to or even if they planned only to have casual sex. And when that happens, you're going to ASSUME and EXPECT that the guy will have done the same thing - but most of the time, that's not what happens. As a generalization, men are much more capable of having casual sex without falling for the girl, than women are without falling for the guy. When you develop feelings, and now you feel connected to the guy and desperately want him to feel romantically connected to you, and you realize he doesn't, your feelings are going to be hurt. That's just how it is, and it won't be the guy's fault, and it won't even really be your fault - it just means that you aren't one of the women who can have casual sex without falling for the guy (most women can't either).
Despite this, at 29, you're at least a decade behind the ball, and you really don't have time to wait anymore. Having to deal with those emotions, while it will suck at the time, will be a good lesson for you - it's just that most women go through that in their teens. At this point, the sooner, the better.
Tell the guy that you know it's a risk, but that you won't hold him responsible if you develop feelings, and you won't expect him to develop them in return, but that you've waited too long already, and you would really like to have sex. I'm sure he'll reconsider, but, yeah, some guys are so uncomfortable that they avoid having sex with virgins just for that reason. He's probably not one of them - he was just trying to be a good guy and was looking out for you.
I don't and didn't because my ow girlfriend was one when I took it. Understand this, though. The guy who says he is concerned about you is being thoughtful if what you said is true.
Women tend to become more attached to the men they sleep with and part of that has to do with biology and pair bonding. You giving it to this guy is something you cannot reclaim and it is best saved for someone you want in your life for a long period of time be it as a lover or husband, not just as a means to lose it.
Save it for the one who you truly want to lose it to.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Well, because you probably will get attached. That's natural.
Guys who don't think twice about "casually" taking a girls' virginity are sociopaths in my opinion. Or too dumb to realize this will happen, but I doubt many guys are that dumb, so they're probably mostly sociopaths.
Humans are meant to be monogamous, but this is especially true for girls. Nature thinks having sex means "getting knocked up", because that's why sex biologically existed.
But since humans are a pair-bonding species, it doesn't want females getting knocked up with the dude disappearing. So when a girl has sex, it's going to pump all these hormones into a girl that tell her to keep the dude around forever. Call this the pair-bonding effect.
And nature is not smart enough to know when you're on birth control, so it treats every time you have sex like you're getting ready to have a kid.
For some reason, the pair-bonding effect is weaker in men. Nobody knows exactly why, but part of the reason may be that there is an evolutionary advantage for men to spread their seed among multiple women to increase genetic diversity. On the other hand, the females who have the best genes are usually the ones who smart enough to keep their man around, which also increases the chances that the offspring will survive and not get eaten by a hungry bear, which the woman can't defend against.
But on top of that, I believe there's another phenomenon. The pair-bonding effect gets weaker with every new sexual partner you introduce. And I think that's true for both women and men, but it's probably a lot more noticeable in women because the pair-bonding effect is stronger to begin with in women. After a while your body decides you're just crazy when you've had a lot of sexual partners, and it gives up trying to induce the pair-bonding effect with new guys you meet.
I believe the pair-bonding effect decays pretty quickly. Probably exponentially. So after a woman has had even 2-3 sexual partners, the pair bonding effect is almost the same as it is for guys. And also, the chance that the woman will end up getting divorced if she ever marries increases dramatically, because the pair bonding effect is a major deterrent against divorce.
And if you doubt any of what I'm saying, I can give you scientific references that back all of this up. Guys know that virgin girls get clingy, because they do get clingy. I know a girl who thought she could avoid getting clingy by losing her virginity to a guy she barely knew, and it still backfired -- she still got clingy.
I think girls who try to get rid of their virginity like it's a disease are very silly. Yes, being a virgin makes it harder to have casual sex with any guy who is not a sociopath. If you really insist, then there are plenty of sociopaths out there, but sex with sociopathic men is usually not that great since they only care about pleasuring themselves, and finding yourself emotionally attached to a sociopath is even worse.
On the other hand, your virginity makes you more "Marriage Material" for any guy who might consider someday marrying you. That's at least the way I think.
Most guys aren't going to require the woman they want to marry to be a virgin (because let's be honest, few exist). If you check all the other boxes, the guy will probably be happy to get down one knee and propose to you. But wouldn't you rather check ALL the boxes rather "all but one"? Would you rather be 100% "Marriage Material" for the guy that's going to marry you, rather than 99% "Marriage Material"?
This friend of yours clearly does not see himself staying with you forever. That is why he doesn't really want to take your virginity. You should take the hint and find a guy who is more interested in you...
I'm not sure if he was being honest or was just nervous and looking for an excuse to back out. It wouldn't be an issue for me personally, bit some guys are different. He may have been afraid that he would hurry. You or that you would be insatiable. Hard to say for sure. Have you talked to him about it since then?
No, this happened Friday. I haven’t talked to him since.
I know it probably isn't an easy thing to talk about, but it needs to be discussed in my opinion. There may be some other reason he said no. He may be worried it will ruin your friendship and it wouldn't be worth it for him
He told me to not feel down about myself and that it was honestly the whole virgin thing when we talked about it. I don’t know about revisiting it again. Maybe. Thank you though!
I think most guys are fine with it but I guess I can only speak for myself. I personally wouldn't care, I'm a 24 year old virgin myself so if anything it would probably be better for me cause less pressure and expectation since both people would be inexperienced. I feel like this sounds kinda weird so disclaimer: Not trying to be creepy just trying to be honest.
Yes, but only men who don't see a future with you. If a guy likes you, he won't mind you getting attached. And if you get too clingy, he'll help you sort it out. It's not a problem for normal people.
Yeah we had already had a talk that this wasn’t going to be anything like that. It wasn’t going to be anything serious. It was suppose to be a casual thing. That’s why I’m confused that this is an issue now.
In that case you have pleanty of "virgin hunters" to choose from.
I don't.
I never had intercourse with a girl I would not marry, so that was never an issue. The only issue I had was the physical one and I knew what to expect from fingering.
It's not a problem, but it is different. There is some responsability attached to it.
No there is no such issue like that. Infact man want to have such partner where he can have sex.
Their might be different reason.
You from India right?
No I’m not from India
Acha
Some do, some don't.
There are a lot of women that do get attached to the man who took her virginity. It should tell you that he's not totally interested in a long term relationship with you.
I don't think so. But it is true that you never forget the person you gave your virginity to.
It is believed that a virgin will get attached to the first guy she has sex with so unless a guy sees a future with her, he may not want to have sex
I don't see why that has anything to do with it.
Some do, yes
Nope!
No it’s not.
If a girl tells me she’s a virgin, I treat her more gently.
I am 38... never made to a virgin... I dont think is something terrible after all our bodies know what to do. but... If I know.. I will try to make it as beautiful as I can... I thing everyone deserves to have a beautiful first time... a luxury i didn't had at that time.
Fuck no because I love popping cherry and I love to fuck virgin girls.
some guys do
it might be a problem. because sex is addictive. the problem is not that you are a virgin. Sex with a virgin is difficult, but over time this difficulty passes. He doesn't want sex because he doesn't want you to be addicted.
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Most Helpful Guys