Sexual Relationships
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Advice for a 18 year old virgin about to crack?

Hey so I’m a virgin and never had a kiss or boyfriend. I’m lonely and I keep going on tinder finding cute guys and saying I’ll come over. Then I get scared and tell them nevermind. Honestly I don’t want to lose my virginity to someone I don’t know, but I’m really lonely and sexual. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I was raised with morals and I want to be a traditional woman who isn’t a whore, but I’m struggling. Can someone give me honest advice on self control and how to wait for a romantic partner. I’m very sad about my decisions to even consider giving myself up to strange men. Something inside of me wants to be wild but I know I will pay for it later.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • You know what your stronger and a better person I could ever be ,, I know what you mean tho wanting to feel that passion thst desire I had meant someone on line 7 months ago who was going through the same thing we started talking everyday , and every day we started sexting role playing, and phone sex and she told me by doing this and experiencing and experimenting in this way she had wished she had done it way sooner she said just thinking about what an real orgasm would feel like with a guy drove her crazy and she said what she got to feel and experience in everything we did she will never for get I think it might have been 4 months in to it and some guy asked her out and she told me she had another guy in mind but she didn't know how to ask him anyway I think it was about 5 months and she sent me a text telling me she was going to do it the next day another text and she told me she was so sad so disappointed because it was nothing like she had experience in our chat role play or phone sex she said in a few days there were going to go out again and she new he would want to do it again the next day she sent a text telling me it was worse that the first time she told me she wanted to call me I told her I was working she had to wait until I got home , she called that night I have had hot phone sex before with her but this time blew me away because she just let it all go and Damn it was good after we were done she said what the fuck just happen , I didn't say anything she said how can phone sex be 500 times better than real sex I told her I don't know but I do I think and she asked if I like it and to rate it to real sex I said real sex 8. Phone sex we just had was a 12 she said but how,, she said it was me because of me I said no ,, I said it was because if her I said you allowed me to make it all about you ,, you allowed me in and in doing that you know what how why where you want to be touched ,, and bla bla,, but she went out with that guy two more times and then told me she would never do it again lol,, 6 months I hadn't heard from her for about a week she said she had started seeing some guy and said I want to have sex with him ,, i said ok and she said what should I do. Lmao I said , make him make it all about you the moment he starts making it about him self that means he's just wants to fuck get off and be done with it 9 out of 10 guys are like that I said make him have 4 play make him work for it don't just say ok and he's done in 2 min and it's over , let him prove to you he wants you and she said I new thst because that's what she felt every time we did something that I made her Feel so special and it was never about me I always made it about her she said looking back on everything the first time the first guy did her and 3 other guys she tried sexting and role play with all sucked she said one of the best things ever was getting to experience what we did. Said thsn you 2 days later sent me a message and said you were right she said he didn't give her and orgasm the first time and the second time he did she said if our phone sex was a 10 her orgasm was a 6 or 7 it's now 7 months she sent me a texted today and said she's at a 9 and that she told a virgin friend of hers to start role play in or phone sex experience that way first and the told me she never did tell me but she wanted to feel it so bad in thstv7 month she had had 2 other guys but didn't tell me because they were so bad

Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to focus on the process of finding a boyfriend. I know that's a whole lot harder than finding a sex hookup, but it will be SO much better for you in the long run. I also know that COVID makes things very difficult, but it's not impossible. You aren't literally locked inside your house, and you and still meet people, so make an effort to do that.
    And, realistically, you aren't going to marry and be with your first boyfriend forever, so it's not as critical that you're a perfect match - the most important thing is that he's a good guy, not overly selfish, and that he genuinely cares about you. That's much less hard to find than someone who has to be right for the next 60 years.

    Looking for a partner is a lot like looking for a job: you have to put a lot of time, work, and effort into it - you probably won't get many job offers sitting at home on your couch - so you have to take an active role in doing social activities and growing your circles of friends. Make that a priority, and you'll have a boyfriend inside of 3 months (hell, it may not take anywhere near that long).

Most Helpful Girls

  • Just have sex. Its stupid to wait for marriage your not a slut because you have sex before marriage. Your a slut if u have no self worth for yourself so you sleep with everyone who offers. My advice find a guy you think is hot who has a nice dick. Talk to him about his prior sexual history and if he gets regular std checks. And if he's good go for it fuck him. When I wanted to lose my virginity I fucked a guy who was not right for me but he was nice and sweet and took care of my needs. And then month later never saw him again. It got to experience what all the hubbub was about and thats all I needed.

  • Sexually frustrated virgins won't have much self control in the long run and are bound to break it. It's better to start dating some guy and get to know him more. It will happen naturally and you won't lose it to a stranger

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 38

  • How traditional do you want to be? I completely understand not wanting to get sexual with someone who is, for all practical intents and purposes, a stranger, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to get your sexual train started (so to speak). There's also nothing wrong with waiting, should you choose that route.

    So is there anyone you DO know who might be a suitable candidate? Is there anyone your friends and family know? A person who they know and vouch for is less likely to be a psychopath or serial killer (or both; I imagine most serial killers are rather insane). Starting with a boyfriend and building up to sex is more likely to work out well than trying the other way around, in most cases.

    • i think you're right. No candidates tho. I dont have any guy friends.

    • Any friends-of-friends or -of-relatives? You might get some prospects if you let others know that you're looking.

  • I'm gonna start this off by saying there's nothing wrong with wanting to wait and maintaining virginity.

    But the other side of that is there's also nothing wrong with sex. It's a perfectly natural part of life.

    If you want to try and control those urges, try finding other ways of exploring them that don't involve actually meeting up with people.

    • Thank you :)

    • You're welcome. Happy to help if you want or need any advice. Just let me know. 😊

    • Thanks I will :)

  • I've never been very big on one night stands or hook-ups. I think it takes the intimacy and enjoyment out of things. Do you have any toys? Look into something like that until you find someone you're willing to share that side of yourself with. There's nothing wrong with maintaining your virginity and exploring yourself in other ways. They make some wild toys nowadays that may help satiate your drive.

    • Ill look into that haha thanks

  • buy a dildo

  • Don't rush it. go with what feels right. Hell I'm 27 and still virgin, it used to bother me a bit but that passed quickly have accepted it. Don't think too much about what others or society says you should do or be. You live your life and make your choices nobody else.

  • You are wise to save yourself for the right guy. This is one of those Life events you will remember forever. And you don't want to have to keep it in your mind that he was some guy on Tindr that just wanted to get laid.
    So, best thing to do is to get yourself out there in Life (Pandemic aside). Find groups you can join - bowling, Martial Arts, Church, whatever you like to do. As your age, you will meet lots of young guys. Find one who is cool, fun, and not a JERK! Maybe you can lose your virginity together, which is sweet and what I did with my first.
    For now, keep masturbating; daily if you have to.

  • Have some things to make your mind off it. Don't go into a relationship with sex as your main interest.
    You're 18, don't be in a rush to lose it. You have plenty of time.

  • Maybe you should just masturbate for sometime so that your inside existing sexyness become calm for sometime and you can use didlo for it , it is more safe for a woman with Morals, safe and satisfying I am advising you because when you are in sex rage your thoughts are bold and too much in sex direction but when you will satisfy your urge with didlo you feel satisfied and now your mind thought will become more calm and safe

    • Thank you :)

    • You're welcome. I hope my advice helped you

  • That my dear is called evolution. The desire to breed is nature's way of making sure women and men continue to procreate. Try a cold shower maybe? Works for men lol. But seriously can you just get your clit off and feel satisfied or are you throbbing deep inside, a hunger which only desires one thing and one thing only, to be stuffed full of meat? I only ask because a hand job or a blow job does not satisfy my urge to penetrate and feel her taking me.

  • You're only a virgin once. Think very carefully how and who you decide to give that up to, for it will never return to you. It's permanent.

  • you sound like a good person and I don't know if others see it but i respect it, masturbation helps too so if you can stay strong thats good

    • Thank you

    • 💯💯

  • 1st off, what your currently doing is a form of mind games that you really need to stop doing. as for a solution, try getting to know one of these guys, set up. actual date/s with which ever him you pick, turn it into and actual relationship. once that is very well established, finally have sex when you and he both feel ready. not before or after because that moment can change after if something or another delays it, which if that happens you both just wait till another such moment occures.

    • OK ill stop playing games.

    • ty. it keeps the cycles of negativity going on both sides when either side does those kinds of things. am trying to help find a happier median ground for everyone.

    • To be honest I just want to be loved. I can't say I dont know what I am doing, but I just wanty attention and to be cared for. I also want to love and care for someone else. I just dont think anyone really likes me because the last time I was asked out I was 14. Im going to stop playing mind games. For some reason I get super depressed and sad because i dont have a romantic relatiohship. I just want love

    • Show All

  • I am 30 Yr old same as you lol 😅,
    Nothing just nothing horniness comes and goes and balances itself

  • You’re way too young to worry about that focus on your career when you get married then you can have all the sex you want

    • Thank you. Im trying not to be so worried and live right! I appreciate your advice.

    • Aww thank you

  • Don't be in such a hurry to lose your virginity. You can never get it back. When you get the urge to meet with someone for a ons, turn on some porn and touch yourself. If you have toys, use them too. Save your virginity for someone who loves you and you love them. It will be more special when you give the guy you love all of yourself.

    • I will. Im glad you guys are giving solid advice because honestly I was on a bad path and I dont want to turn out too promiscuous.

    • If you need any other help feel free to pm me. I'll be happy to give you more advice.

  • Yes can and have a lot of fun.
    You don't have to have sex. There's foreplay and oral ,
    Kissing and cuddling.
    Dipping his wick is great for him , a good sex toy can do better..

  • you won't pay for it later if you're not ashamed of your past

    • Yes but I want as little sexual partners as possible. This is part of my morals and going against my conscience will end up bad for me.

    • i see... maybe you can find just a man whith who you can explore freely

  • you're 18 and want to be traditional. Why dont you date guys and get married?

    Do not do not invite guys over or go to their places. Why are you diving off the deep end with men? Thats how you have sex and be a slut.

    Maybe go out to a restaurant with a traditional man where no sex will be happening? Why dont you take the normal step forward in romance?

    • I dont know. I dont think anyone really likes me.

    • that last time I was asked out was 14 years old.

    • Well i see this with a lot of young girls who are trying to be good girls. Usually y'all make yourself extremely unapproachable. And also guys are more careful because I don't know how "good" you are. Where i might hit on blatantly another girl i would be scared to come on too strong or sexual (even if im not trying to have sex a lot of flirting is sexual). I've scared some good girls by being too flirty but I've also not gotten the attention of some good girls by not being flirty enough. Its kinda hard to figure out sometimes. Where a more sexual girl i could literally just say something straightforward.

  • how to control sexual urges.
    1. if you have family just get up and go spend time with them , gossip, trek, camp etc. I guarantee you this is the best thing you will never regret.
    2. move towards spirituality, meditation, hobby, self improvement etc.
    3. you can go and find some sport which you can play at home in your garden like basketball or something which has more priority for you.
    Ex- I have a breaking tendency, I break used bulbs, glass, throw stones in a pond or do something like this not intentionally but I feel relieved or a game like archery which lets you shoot a aim and then you feel sense of accomplishment it releases some hormones I think oxytocin which is similar to the ones released while sex.

  • Why don't you talk and get to know someone? If you're going to lose it to anyone, lose it to someone you trust rather than a tinder fling.

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