Is non sexual bdsm a thing?

[Anonymous]

I always associated bdsm with sex. I was asked if I would consider having a non sexual dominant. Forgive me if I sound a little ignorant but how exactly would that work? What would our scenes include?

[abc3643]

Sure, you can easily have non-sexual BDSM... But, I want to be clear... very often, "non-sexual" is still sexual to the participant because of a fetish. By definition, a fetish is:

"A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc."
https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/fetish

So, for instance, if a guy has a foot fetish, he might be into a BDSM situation in which he is lying on the ground and a woman places her foot on his face and orders him to lick it. In this case, she is the dom and he is the sub. Breasts, penises, vaginas - none of that is involved so it is not "sexual" per se - but the guy has a foot fetish, so he gets off on having a woman put her foot in his face and lick it.

[slatyb]

Whatever you agree with your partner. If you just want to experience a bondage session, you can do that. If you just want to be spanked or otherwise, you can do that. There are groups that get together just for spanking. The spankers and the spankees agree on the implement and intensity before they start.

[tsathenang]

Nah nah you don't sound ignorant at all! You can incorporate bdsm into your personal life outside sexual things too, but if you're dom is a straight guy or lesbian girl then more than likely they would require you to be sexual with them.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure there's such a thing, because it's such a complex fetish. You should go on Fetlife and ask.

[Spalliger]

Well, I guess you'd have to do what is said to you and that won't include anything sexual. Sounds weird, because I can understand sexual BDSM and general BDSM (sexual but also outside of the sex), but just non sexual BDSM it's weird to think of.

[AustinMan]

It sounds to me like he wants to make all the decisions in your life. Not sure that's a good idea.

[Anonymous]

You should ask that person to clarify what they meant. Lol

[Asker]

I did. He said the same thing as a d/s relationship just no sex lol I’m still lost

[Opinion Owner]

I think I might understand it in a d/s relationship lol. It's like the Dom controlling/giving orders that are non sexual.