Im tired of my sex life and my partner isn’t open to new things. What now?

Question

I love my partner but tbh, I’m less interested in having sex this last year. I like sex when I’m getting to know someone new. But as soon as I know all the spots and I know what someone likes, sex becomes boring for me.

Im having trouble with it in my relationship. I’m tired of our sex but my boyfriend hasn’t the same interests as I have and is not open for something new or exciting. My boyfriend is traditional and old fashion. I’m at a point where I like 5min on my own time better than an hour with him.

I realized it when I was attracted to a colleague and I asked myself: would I want to have sex with my partner right now? And I thought “no”. But would I want to have sex with my colleague if I could? The answer was “yes”. I didn’t act on it.
And hypothetically: even if I could have sex with my colleague, I know I that I would become bored again as soon as I know his spots and wishes.

How can I overcome this? I’m definitely the problem here. I have no libido at all, unless it’s “new”. And my boyfriend just wants predictable sex..

broken_heart_at_48 · Accepted Answer

Are you sure it's a not changing it up kinda thing? As far as trying new things or places instead of you needing a new person every few times or whatever? Maybe you just haven't got with the right one yet or maybe you'd be more suited for the swinger lifestyle. What I do know is you deserve to be satisfied and there's nothing wrong with making sure your needs are met. It definitely sucks when one day you come to the realization that there's nothing wrong with your sexual interest as long as it's consentual, legal age, and you're not hurting anyone, and you're looking back on your life wishing you would of made it happen. My guess is you're going to start resenting him. You should sit him down and let him know what's going on and if you're not comfortable doing that then you might need for both of you to really work on communication or cut bait

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

There are a couple of things I'd recommend. One is to find a good therapist and work on this. The other is to renew your commitment to a full and rewarding sex life. With some effort, you can move him toward what you want to do. What kinds of things do you have in mind? I may have some ideas.

Evergreen79 · Accepted Answer

I feel as though you are meant to have an open relationship. If you constantly crave the new and exciting, and since your partner can't give it to you, you are wanting to find it elsewhere. This isn't a bad thing, it just means you probably need a partner if they aren't up to the task.

FlyGirl95 · Accepted Answer

Know thy self. Date more people and find that person right for you

LiamSawyer · Answer

What do you feel the next steps or options are that may be available?

magiusX26 · Answer

you just need a more varied set/s of kinks and to switch them up here and there. that requires either him opening up to new styles of sex or you finding another partner who is more compatible. counsrling on why it gets so drab once the newness wears off would be great too.

Andres77 · Answer

It's work. Communication. What's the worst that can happen if you tell him you want to explore new ways to fuck? At least try.

Wise4myage · Answer

I think it’s a clear sign that you need to move on. That’s how you fix it.

joeldalton · Answer

Break up. You're not interested in your "partner".

Wiredone · Answer

It sounds like you are not meant to be in a regular traditional relationship. You constantly crave new and exciting sex with different guys. You might be better with one night stands instead of having a boyfriend. There are a lot of women out there just like you, you are not alone. If you can't find someone who is willing to have an open relationship with you then ons are what you are destined for

Gedaria · Answer

I can get your point , but it's not sex it's sex with your partner.  He sounds like he isn't getting you satisfied. How many orgasms do you get. That's usually a base for enjoyment..