Do you have any advice for reporting to the HR leader about mutiple male coworkers constantly harassing me?

[Anonymous]

The leader is a woman so she might understand but then again maybe not you never know.

I am so tired of being harassed at wrk by my close coworkers i have to see almost daily. One is a huge popular pervert. Men and women like him and all he does when leaders aren't around is joke about sex to females around. He knows i dont wanna hear it. These jerks do it to me on purpose they go out their way to say sexual stuff cause they know i dont wanna hear it.

They play stupid sex songs like candy shop by 50 cent on the speaker.

I am SO TIRED of this bullshiit. I come to work not to be invaded and mentally raped by these losers who know to do it when the bosses aren't around... how clever they are.

Its at least 3 who do it constantly.

Some girls dont care... actually maybe you could say most dont... I do care. I dont want my complaints ignored just cause 99% of the females dont care. I feel like if it was a case of guys groping me then it would be taken serious.

[Cassie94]

You need to keep a diary. A detailed diary of everything - dates and times - exactly what was said and what happened - how it made you feel - why it constituted sexual harassment to you. Do this for about 2-4 weeks (depending on how frequent these incidents are and how much longer you can take this) and then you should have enough evidence to report this. Although you shouldn’t have to do this, if it is the culture of this place and the women could back up the men in a dispute, then your best option may be to leave. Not ideal and not right, I know. But start with the diary - you need a strong basis for your grievance first. Good luck 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you, and yes i think its just an overall hood/ratchet culture (though the people can't be outright ratchet at work, its who they are and it comes out). I can't leave now. Nobody is hiring me.

[Cassie94]

You’re welcome 🙂 I understand the job situation right now - whatever the culture and the people there, a certain level of behaviour and professionalism should be adhered to - and a respect for fellow work colleagues - so if you can walk into a meeting with a detailed history of these incidents, it gives you a strong basis to ask for change.

[Cassie94]

If everyone is subjected to the bad jokes and crappy music, then yes, there is no victimisation or harassment here. If one can show or prove that you are being singled out with a specific agenda to annoy or harass, then there may be more to it. That’s why I mentioned the diary - because even for the ‘victim’, you can look at the diary before submitting it and work out exactly how bad the situation really is - rather than just how it feels on a day-to-day basis. Truth is there does have to be some clear evidence of victimisation (being singled out for unfair or rude behaviour) or an ongoing case of personal harassment. There has to be substance, yes - otherwise you could end up with no case and becoming an outcast in the team and being labelled a ‘moaner’ - so it’s tricky! 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Asker]

If i recall correctly, the harassment video online we all had to take upon hiring said its harassment if you personally feel attacked on basis of sex. Which i do. Do these idiots go around telling the male coworkers sex jokes and asking sex questions to them? Highly doubt it.

[Cassie94]

The reason I put in my very first reply “how it made you feel - why it constituted sexual harassment to you” is for the exact points being made here. The claimant has a right to make their case and the HR professional is in a position to judge and decide based on the evidence provided and any potential investigation. They will decide the outcome based on the facts, which we do not have in full right now. I’m not taking sides - I’m just explaining the process and how best to proceed if one feels harassed in one form or another. I do hope the situation is resolved to the question asker’s satisfaction at the very least! 🙂

[Cassie94]

Well I would hope an HR professional would be governed by employment law statutes in that country rather than cultural movements, but I take your point with all the PC crap and crying about everything going on these days. While there is the option to handle this by oneself, it is possible to discuss things with HR without making a formal complaint - again, the claimant knows more about what’s going on than you or I. The “how it made you feel” aspect is important - it’s the emotional trauma element - but there has to be hard evidence of what causes that emotional trauma to make it valid to the case. So “I do not like what you are saying” would only be met why “why?” and “how does this cause you emotional trauma over and above anyone else?” If the same things are being said and done to others without bother, the claim fails. As for my language - my language is based upon the one I am being asked advice from - so I’m telling the claimant what to do. If I was asked advice from the company, I would be saying to get the evidence, do an investigation, establish the facts, seek HR professional guidance (if needed) and make a decision - and if I was asked specifically about the evidence, I would give an opinion - but only on the documented evidence and facts and not on just what this original post said here. If it turned out to be “some men joking around”, I would say there is no victimisation or harassment here - but try to help the claimant fit into the team better. And that’s another story! 😆 I’m not advising to wage all out war against the staff - I’m just saying to air your grievances with documented evidence and see if there is a worthy claim. The company grievance policy allows everyone this right. Perhaps it is something that could be addressed informally 🤔 but a good, sensitive HR person should be able to sort this out quite smoothly I would hope! 😌

[Cassie94]

Oh, it would appear ‘grace9876’ has deleted their replies 😯 well ok, I hope you resolve this situation 🙂 good luck.

[Asker]

Do you think it is a good case to tell HR about how several males repeatedly talk about sex on purpose around or to me or about me in front of me KNOWING i dont want to hear sex talk? They know. I tell them to shut up when they do it. And they have done it many times now. Its not like they are being forced to say sexual stuff at work. They are chosing to say vulgar things and whisper them to me as well such as sexual innuendos especially when more people aren't around. But i see other girls around like this behavior and talk BUT I DONT. i am sick of it.

[Asker]

I removed that person's replies. And thanks.

[Cassie94]

What I can tell is that you are clearly very upset about this and seem to be telling me things that do seem very inappropriate. You have every right to air your grievances and the best way to do this is with a diary - a history - of the things that are happening and how they affect you personally. I am happy to offer this advice - I did not expect to have my motives questioned so vigorously 😆 but you are welcome - and I hope the HR person listens to you and finds a suitably amicable solution to this.