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What's the best way of asking about it? Since I asked pretty straight forward and it resulted in a insult match
Updates:
- Wow sounds like that dude over reacted. As long as you don't directly insult him I would say its fine.
DONT say..
Your can't satisfy me I need this toy.
You'll develop an inferiority complex. That shits a mess.
DO say...
"Wanna try something freaky?" And drag it out from under the bed like a dirty secret.
Present it as a fun addition not a tool. Tools imply something is being "fixed"1|00|0Is this still revelant? - No it is not rude. Say this to your man ladies, "Hey baby, I am not wild and crazy but I do have a kink of using toys during sex. Is that cool?"
Make it seem like a kink of yours that arouses you rather than making him feel like you want toys because he is inadequate.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
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657- I guess you just have to ask.
From there on it is out of your control.
Either they will think that is fun and natural or they will find it insulting to want a tool to accompany your intimate sessions. You only fully enjoy it or can get off when it is him AND the device but it isn't as good with just him.
Some will be ok, some may bolt. A mature person will bolt. He will realize you two aren't compatible and he'll just make a clean break up with you.
Others are often with people they are not compatible with (for endless differing reasons) but instead of just realizing it and moving on they stick around and try to stay together but just fight all the time about their core differences.
What did you say happened? He got upset?
If he is mature about it (he can feel hurt though) he should probably just move on if using toys on you instead of 100% his body isn't ok with him.1|00|0 - An insult match shows that he's not mature in bedroom affairs.
Hence the immediate task is to educate him that the use of sex toys is not an implication that he cannot perform in the bedroom.
He has to understand that while sex toys may enhance the already good feelings, it can offer the couple extra intimacies too.
For example, I find it very intimate when my SO insert a butt plug onto me. And I'm feel extra horny when I use a vibrator to start off the foreplay process, because it literally cut down the time period by half.
Hence, encourage him to learn more about toys and show him statistics of how widely toys are sold to couples who already have great sex lives.
I think after he knows the use is not an insult to his manhood, but a modern way of expressing higher sexuality, he should consent to the use without much "asking" (as you use in your question).1|00|0 - When "we" are in a sexual situation, the primary goal is to have a satisfying orgasm. If you have discovered that a specific toy helps out with that, it is not rude or weird to introduce it. A girl I was with had one of these.
She asked me to use it in her. I did with very good results. We integrated it into our routine. She would also use it on herself while I concentrated on fingering her, playing with her boobs, etc. Don't hesitate to bring a toy in. One thing. Do not introduce a dildo or insertible vibrator larger than his erect penis. 1|00|0 - It shouldn't be considered rude to ask. If your partner is not into toys they can simply respectfully decline without any drama. If it's a new partner, or new to an existing partner, it may be fun to invite them to go shopping for sex toys to see if they're into it or not.1|00|0
- The only way to do it IS to ask straightforwardly.
I'm concerned that this resulted in an INSULT match! Was he insulted that you wanted to USE the toy? As if it was denigrating his sexual skill?
Well, he's got his head on wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't waste your time with him.1|00|0 - Lowkey.
Imagine having sex with a guy and he pulls out his phone to check out porn while you’re having sex so it could “increase” his pleasure. You’d probably think you’re not doing something right. That’s how a guy would feel if you pulled out a toy.1|00|0 - Hmmm. Honestly I would've just said to be straight forward with it. Lol
What did they say when you asked?
I've always enjoyed using toys on my partners. Haha2|00|0- Show All Show Less
Doesn't matter if you *need* toys or not. They're just fun. Haha
Sounds like he's lacking in imagination. :pIn all seriousness, asking to use toys shouldn't start a fight. :p
At most, it should cause a conversation as to why you want to use toys. Otherwise it should either be a simple yes or no. Or, best case, a hell yeah. Haha
Anonymous9 dSome guys have this false macho line about how, if they are good enough, you don't need toys. It's competition. So don't offer it up as competition.
Tell him that you want him to watch you bring yourself to orgasm. Start the old-fashioned way, then once he is aroused, tell him you are going to bring out a vibrator, and slowly incorporate that into what you are doing. Perhaps he will come to see your vibrator or whatever as an assistant rather than the competition.1|10|0- I don't think so, I always bring some either because she wants more stimulation or to keep her g-spot humming while I go down on her. I saw a new one by Crave, it's metal and flares out just enough to cover the nub of the clit. The metal is supposed to make the stimulation much more intense. I always wear a small but powerful vibe on a chain around my neck. May I ask what your faves are?1|00|0
- Express how good it will feel and how fun it would be to incorporate it into having sex with your partner. I guess some guys might be insecure about it? For me it is a huge plus and I love it when a woman is comfortable enough to use toys.0|00|0
- Hmm 🤔 this one time I just got started on my own he walked in and was just standing there, I said either join in or fuck off ☺️😂 but that’s only coz we’ve been together 26 years. I don't know how normal people talk about this kinda stuff.1|20|0
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- It's not rude and it can add a whole lot of fun especially if you try dp or using plugs. I think most guys would be fine with it just give them a bit of warning and explain why and then they can process its not because they don't satisfy you or see it as a threat.1|00|0
- Not rude at all.
Maybe the person you did ask felt that that had to compete, which sounds like a bit of a maturity problem.
Good luck with that one.0|00|0 - lol is he limp? depends on what type of toy you're introducing. A vibrator or butt plug is not an insult but a dildo is, that would mean his d.. k game is trash.1|10|0
- If one partner asks for a toy to be added to the mix, the request is either a conscious or subconscious declaration of the other person's inadequacy, so "Yes", it is an insult.0|00|0
- I wouldn't care
But funny enough some guys actually care about this shit
Get your stuff and run if you get a jealous man who envies a toy
Lmao0|00|0 - Maybe just start talking about what each of you like during sex then slowly bring it up that you like to use toys. I think they are fun to use before and during sex.1|00|0
- Everyone has his own preferences. Some guys are into toys, some hate it. That's why communication is important in a relationship and in sex in general. You can talk about it before sex if you want to be sure, or you can enter it spontaneously during the act. It's just important that if he's not into it, that you don't push it1|00|0
- some guys don't like it. they see it as you invalidating their ability of giving you pleasure. i like using toys tho. it's fun to focus entirely on her pleasure sometimes.0|00|0
- I wouldn't ask, I would pull it out but wait until after his orgasm.0|00|0
- There's nothing wrong with including toys during sex. I use them on her all the time. I'll be in one hole and the toy in another. He should have politely declined if he wasn't interested in doing it. There's no need to be rude about it.1|00|0
- Yea i like my toys. she gets all weird when i get my matchbox cars out and roll them across her. Oh well better then GI joe with kung fu grip.2|00|0
- I would just casually bring it up before or after you have sex ask if he’d be interested in trying it1|00|0
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- If he’s insulted you asked there’s probably no winning. Mentioning you got em is usually enough for a guy to be all over it1|00|0
- A man who cares about your enjoyment would be delighted to use them for you.1|00|0
- I guess it can be. Maybe best to have a conversation about it beforehand if he'd be interested in using toys.1|00|0
- first... depend... toys must be an extra, not a solution or replacement. of you keep that clear and behave accordingly It may not be a problem. also... dare to use them with him. dont be egoistic.1|00|0
- I would say no depending on what you're using for me anyways0|00|0
Anonymous8 dI think it's all in the presentation. Maybe you could say: "I'm kind of a foreplay freak, do you mind using toys on me before you fuck me?"1|00|0- Everyone's different but I'd admittedly feel like I wasn't doing a good enough job, possibly might even feel obsolete.1|00|0
- Just be straight forward it not rude at all I'd have fun with it0|00|0
- No, it's not rude. And he shouldn't have gotten offended.1|00|0
- I wouldn't have a problem with that, but don't know about anyone else.1|00|0
- No, not at all. But its best to know your partner before asking.1|00|0
Sounds like you pulled out a dildo that was bigger than his dick, lol. Just go with a vibrator, he should like that.
- Wtf, I have toys and as way to tease sexually I shop for toys and explain how I want to use them on someone1|00|0
- It must depend on the guy because I wouldn't be insulted or upset1|00|0
- Not an insult at all. Im a guy thay loves using toys during sex. Huge turn on for me.1|00|0
- What lol I mean I know what you saying but really 🤣0|00|0
- It depends who you ask. But no i wouldn't mind uf a girl ask to use a toy0|00|0
- That is too bad! I think they add to the fun to be honest! You can get quite creative with them!1|00|0
- Then your with the wrong person I used to grab my wife’s and we would do it all night long1|00|0
- Just mention it to your partner that it will help him to get you to reach multiple orgasms if does, hopefully he's paying attention.1|00|0
- Anonymous9 dThe girl shouldn't ask. She should just have it under her pillow and pull it out when she's ready. The guy won't care then1|00|0
- Totally acceptable and fun.1|00|0
- You can ask me without any issues lol0|00|0
- Depends on if there for you0|00|0
- Sit on my face and suffocate me please.1|00|0
- Wow. That’s a person who’s insecure.1|10|0
- I do not think it is. You are wanting fun.1|00|0
- Not at all I'd find it Hot AF1|00|0
- Not rude at all! It increases the fun1|00|0
- get a better partner that is ok with toys lol1|00|0
- they ad so much more, never leave the toys out1|00|0
- Why need?1|00|0
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She asked me to use it in her. I did with very good results. We integrated it into our routine. She would also use it on herself while I concentrated on fingering her, playing with her boobs, etc. Don't hesitate to bring a toy in. One thing. Do not introduce a dildo or insertible vibrator larger than his erect penis. 
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