Rude to ask to use toys during sex?

[MsLivy]

What's the best way of asking about it? Since I asked pretty straight forward and it resulted in a insult match

[pajamasam]

Wow sounds like that dude over reacted. As long as you don't directly insult him I would say its fine.

DONT say..

Your can't satisfy me I need this toy.

You'll develop an inferiority complex. That shits a mess.

DO say...

"Wanna try something freaky?" And drag it out from under the bed like a dirty secret.


Present it as a fun addition not a tool. Tools imply something is being "fixed"

[Apope16]

No it is not rude. Say this to your man ladies, "Hey baby, I am not wild and crazy but I do have a kink of using toys during sex. Is that cool?"

Make it seem like a kink of yours that arouses you rather than making him feel like you want toys because he is inadequate.

[PrudentGuy]

An insult match shows that he's not mature in bedroom affairs.

Hence the immediate task is to educate him that the use of sex toys is not an implication that he cannot perform in the bedroom.

He has to understand that while sex toys may enhance the already good feelings, it can offer the couple extra intimacies too.

For example, I find it very intimate when my SO insert a butt plug onto me. And I'm feel extra horny when I use a vibrator to start off the foreplay process, because it literally cut down the time period by half.

Hence, encourage him to learn more about toys and show him statistics of how widely toys are sold to couples who already have great sex lives.

I think after he knows the use is not an insult to his manhood, but a modern way of expressing higher sexuality, he should consent to the use without much "asking" (as you use in your question).

[Screenwriter]

The only way to do it IS to ask straightforwardly.
I'm concerned that this resulted in an INSULT match! Was he insulted that you wanted to USE the toy? As if it was denigrating his sexual skill?
Well, he's got his head on wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't waste your time with him.

[william_wizard]

Hmmm. Honestly I would've just said to be straight forward with it. Lol

What did they say when you asked?
I've always enjoyed using toys on my partners. Haha

[ZiZi_Bell]

I can vouch for this. 😘

[william_wizard]

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Lol

[MsLivy]

I was lmao and something along never needed it before

[william_wizard]

Doesn't matter if you *need* toys or not. They're just fun. Haha Sounds like he's lacking in imagination. :p

[MsLivy]

Fair enough lol

[william_wizard]

In all seriousness, asking to use toys shouldn't start a fight. :p At most, it should cause a conversation as to why you want to use toys. Otherwise it should either be a simple yes or no. Or, best case, a hell yeah. Haha

[Red_Arrow]

A man who cares about your enjoyment would be delighted to use them for you.

[ArrowheadSW]

Express how good it will feel and how fun it would be to incorporate it into having sex with your partner. I guess some guys might be insecure about it? For me it is a huge plus and I love it when a woman is comfortable enough to use toys.

[summiter]

Maybe just start talking about what each of you like during sex then slowly bring it up that you like to use toys. I think they are fun to use before and during sex.

[Newhead]

lol is he limp? depends on what type of toy you're introducing. A vibrator or butt plug is not an insult but a dildo is, that would mean his d.. k game is trash.

[longlicker6969]

Totally acceptable and fun.

[AndyOh]

Not rude at all.
Maybe the person you did ask felt that that had to compete, which sounds like a bit of a maturity problem.
Good luck with that one.

[wittymilf]

Hmm 🤔 this one time I just got started on my own he walked in and was just standing there, I said either join in or fuck off ☺️😂 but that’s only coz we’ve been together 26 years. I don't know how normal people talk about this kinda stuff.

[Llama32]

Did he join in, or fuck off?😀

[wittymilf]

@Llama32 oh he joined in ☺️

[Wiredone]

He'd be stupid if he fucked off. You're hot

[Llama32]

Just mutual masturbation, or sex? Thanks for your reply

[wittymilf]

@Llama32 sex... I see no point in mutual masterbation. We are married 😂

[Llama32]

Fair enough!

[eljor723]

I’d join in

[eljor723]

That’s hot !

[JPrez]

I wouldn't ask, I would pull it out but wait until after his orgasm.

[Dongtai]

Lowkey.


Imagine having sex with a guy and he pulls out his phone to check out porn while you’re having sex so it could “increase” his pleasure. You’d probably think you’re not doing something right. That’s how a guy would feel if you pulled out a toy.

[Miristheiss]

I guess you just have to ask.
From there on it is out of your control.
Either they will think that is fun and natural or they will find it insulting to want a tool to accompany your intimate sessions. You only fully enjoy it or can get off when it is him AND the device but it isn't as good with just him.
Some will be ok, some may bolt. A mature person will bolt. He will realize you two aren't compatible and he'll just make a clean break up with you.
Others are often with people they are not compatible with (for endless differing reasons) but instead of just realizing it and moving on they stick around and try to stay together but just fight all the time about their core differences.

What did you say happened? He got upset?
If he is mature about it (he can feel hurt though) he should probably just move on if using toys on you instead of 100% his body isn't ok with him.

[CallMeJean]

Everyone has his own preferences. Some guys are into toys, some hate it. That's why communication is important in a relationship and in sex in general. You can talk about it before sex if you want to be sure, or you can enter it spontaneously during the act. It's just important that if he's not into it, that you don't push it

[Dargil]

When "we" are in a sexual situation, the primary goal is to have a satisfying orgasm. If you have discovered that a specific toy helps out with that, it is not rude or weird to introduce it. A girl I was with had one of these.

She asked me to use it in her. I did with very good results. We integrated it into our routine. She would also use it on herself while I concentrated on fingering her, playing with her boobs, etc. Don't hesitate to bring a toy in. One thing. Do not introduce a dildo or insertible vibrator larger than his erect penis.

[TeeBar]

If one partner asks for a toy to be added to the mix, the request is either a conscious or subconscious declaration of the other person's inadequacy, so "Yes", it is an insult.

[bowenw]

It shouldn't be considered rude to ask. If your partner is not into toys they can simply respectfully decline without any drama. If it's a new partner, or new to an existing partner, it may be fun to invite them to go shopping for sex toys to see if they're into it or not.

[MsLivy]

More friends with benefits sorta thing so. im not sure that'd be something he's up for

[bowenw]

Even so, they shouldn't have insulted you for mentioning toys.

[Questionsweask]

Yea i like my toys. she gets all weird when i get my matchbox cars out and roll them across her. Oh well better then GI joe with kung fu grip.

[pigoat]

I wouldn't care

But funny enough some guys actually care about this shit

Get your stuff and run if you get a jealous man who envies a toy

Lmao

[Redstang88]

If he’s insulted you asked there’s probably no winning. Mentioning you got em is usually enough for a guy to be all over it