Can a guy who is used to having sex right away wait for sex if the girl is special to him?

[Egirl28]

I am a virgin and he is not ! He is used to girls throwing themselves at him and wanting sex right away. I am more old fashioned and want to wait till I am comfortable and trust someone ! He claims that he can wait for sex but I am not sure! He claims i am different than the other girls and he is willing to wait but I don't wait to get invested if he is just gonna disappear if it doesn't happen right away!

[PrudentGuy]

Wait.
Did you set a date? Or only until marriage?

Wait.
Is he willing to wait until marriage? Or he's directing a date to be set?

Caution:
Some (not all) experienced guys are Players. They leave after they took the girls virginity away. (Many cases here. One yesterday.)

My Opinion:
Go beyond physical intimacy during your date if you really want to find out his true motive of dating you.

Guys can wait for months to take a girl's virginity away, then leave the next day.

But of course, there are many who are trying to "settle down" and they are glad to marry a virgin.

So keep your eyes and mind open. Think with your head above, not below.

[Egirl28]

I am no sure if I want to wait till marriage but at least till I am in love! I have never had a serious relationship usually the virgin thing scares them away! I have known the guy for 6 years and we went on dates but he would never even kiss me now he suddenly wants to say he wants something out of the blue!

[PrudentGuy]

6 years! You should had mention in the Details! Haha... you got yourself a gen girl! No, I retract my words on the Player part. I don't think he's a player (provided he doesn't have a secret side chick of course). If you want to lose to him before marriage, I have a suggestion (that's what my SO did to me LOL) Announce a date that you will lose to him LOL! Then plan for it. For me, was a beach resort, nine months in the future. The planning and waiting was very erotic and fun (HELL too because I was high every moment after she agreed.) Maybe this suggestion can bring you a great First Time too. 😄😄😄

[Finchie40]

Well don’t give him sex until you feel you are ready , if he chooses to walk away because you are taken to long , then that is his loss , if he really likes you he will wait it out

[BestOpinions2020]

i would recommend while he waits he uses sex toys safely though

[btbc92]

Save your virginity for marriage and stop settling for Less. Men would you what they want to do like we would do what women do. If he wanted to wait he would have been a virgin. He didn't wait, what makes you think he's going away just because you're special to him? Because at the end of the day he's looking for sex if you don't care how he has to get it. He'll play the long game if he knows you're going to be forcing us to sleep with him anyway. It's your virginity is that important then don't be with him. I wouldn't, because I'm not stupid. That's why I still have mine.

[btbc92]

Do not be fooled. A man that done it before and wants to wait will simply just tell you that he wants to wait without you even have to disclose anything. And if you do disclose anything he would be happy because he knows that you and him already on the same page. You two are not compatible and therefore you should not be with him.

[BestOpinions2020]

Shut up your wrong

[btbc92]

If I'm so wrong why you got to tell me to shut up because you know I'm right. I meant men who were just that and they wanted to wait because they made the decision to wait. Even such men that is on here so that says a lot about you. You don't like what I got to say go kick rocks.

[TonyMetal___86]

Well said miss @btbc92 your doing the right thing... Your a precious girl, a man can see his girl naked and have sex with her only when he marries her... Before marriage he ain't her husband, he ain't her family, god still haven't made them one... etc @bestopinions2020 just because your wrong, you cannot blame people for being right, so go find a h*e and pay her to give you what you want!

[btbc92]

I met men* Go after the easy girl that's willing to give you her virginity. Girls like me you don't like because you know it's the truth and you know I wouldn't dare even do that. So let's cut the crap, cut the BS, and let's be real. I'm almost 30 and I've been dealing with this since I was 8 years old. I am more than enough experience to know the truth. My male friends that were not Christians especially didn't wait until marriage but they still respected my decision. So tell the truth. You don't want to wait for marriage to have sex. You're only going to have sex with a virgin if she's willing to do everything stuff to do with you and that's it. If she's not willing to do that you're not going to bother. So don't tell me that frappe. Because you are showing right then and there that you proving her fears to be true. She wants something stable and sadly outside of marriage there's no guarantee you going to have anything stable. So if you know that you're not that kind of man to what anything stable just simply say instead of acting like you're for real and you're not. Tired of hypocrites, and liars and manipulators. Asker, please wait and don't make the same mistakes my friends made. When a guy is looking at your virginity they look at benefits they not looking at you as a person. You deserve to be with somebody who's going to love you and cherish you not when it's convenient or beneficial only for them. When a man is like that they want it right away. they have a hard time waiting because all they used to do it is getting what they want. Is up to you to decide how you wish to be treated but think about it if he really love those girls why does he have so many girls oh, and why should he only have to wait for you when he could have had that with who he was with in the first place? Those guys are red flags, when they go after virgins they seek power because a Virgin is pure.

[btbc92]

At the end of the day, sex is serious and your held to accountability. Once you make a decision to have sex especially outside of marriage you can't blame nobody else but yourself. It doesn't matter what the guy promise you, you got to be responsible for your own decisions. If you can't be responsible for them you shouldn't make them then you definitely not ready to be having sex.

[TonyMetal___86]

That's why there is a honeymoon after marriage, it's because the wife on this day gives her virginity and all herself to her husband and that would be her ultimate gift 🙂

[BestOpinions2020]

@TonyMetal___86 kinda a bad gift

[BestOpinions2020]

and all men and women r different men and women do the same things

[TonyMetal___86]

@BestOpinions2020 for you it's bad while for me it's priceless...

[BestOpinions2020]

if he loves her he will wait or if he dont wanna wait that long whats reasonable he will talk about it to her

[BestOpinions2020]

and your virginity isn't a huge deal being a virgin means u just haven't done it like I'm a tattoo virgin I have never had one

[BestOpinions2020]

@TonyMetal___86 its like a first kiss good but not amazing

[btbc92]

Here is what I have learned almost 30. If all guy cares about is sex, he's only caring about himself. I've always kept my virginity and never dated for a reason. You never conpromise your morals. If your not compatible, find somebody else. That's all. There is nothing else to talk about if he isn't rrady to marry. Sex is a marriage and marriage is about having sex. Virginity is very much a big deal. It is not a bad gift. If that's how you think of women then you don't need one. Then you be with a woman who doesn't mind having sex with you before marriage. But then when you don't have a don't complain about what you wish you had. Because how you treat a then is what you going to treat her after marriage anyway. If a woman treats you that way then you can complain about how much of a hoe she is. That's why a lot of women now don't want to wait until marriage anymore because they don't see the point if that's all she's going to be to a man.

[btbc92]

If a woman wants sex. She'll just have sex. Love have zero to do with it. It's not about you. If that's all you care about find somebody who just as selfish. Plenty of them in the world so don't complain. A good woman is not interested in men of your caliber. I had rejected many guys that had your attitude. I was not going to have someone like you wasted my time. True love really do wait and there is prove of that. Again, God put your ad to only kids about when it's just going to be able to be available. Just say that you want sex and get it over with. I'm tired of God will talk about they want a relationship and that's the first thing they care about. But then when I talk about it, then they won't run from it. Enough. I caught on long ago what the agenda was.

[TonyMetal___86]

@btbc92 well said miss btbc well this guy don't even have a caliber or any morals and values... Such guys made the world a worst place since they made women think that all men are like that... The funny part is when he said thay virginity ain't important at all! Cause if it'a important than imagine from where he's going to have sex since marriage is off his sight... Your virginity ain't because you still have this tissue, it's because this private part in your body is only reserved for your real man, the man who will deserves it and be your husband and that sex won't be the end of the road but just the beginning of it! This is why god recommends that only a husband can see the body of his girl, touch it and does sex whenever he wants because he blessed them and they became a family 😊

[btbc92]

To be honest no. What I had learned being a virgin is not so much because it's for the man. It don't have to be given to anybody if we don't want to. Getting married is a choice. It is better to not be married then to be married to the wrong kind of person. No. Our bodies is a Temple as is yours is meant to honor God with it. We are to honor God's will without bodies. It is not our own.1 but a man as well as a woman is supposed to honor God with our sexual decisions. And that means what God joins together let no man pull apart. And that is if that is of God's desire

[TonyMetal___86]

That's what i meant... Anyways a girl should stay virgin till marriage, that's the good thing to do...

[BestOpinions2020]

@TonyMetal___86 no its not its up to her and this woman might want sex before marriage she said she's not sure men and women can do what they want if its legal

[TonyMetal___86]

@BestOpinions2020 well that's my opinion like it or not! She doesn't have to agree with me! Neither do you...

[BestOpinions2020]

@TonyMetal___86 ok thanks for replying have a nice day 🙂

[TonyMetal___86]

@BestOpinions2020 your welcome, you too

[btbc92]

No, she's like that not because she wants to have sex before marriage. She would have done so years ago if so. She is saying that because she knows most of gou men will NOT wait. She doesn't know herself. Otherwise she would have done so already. She doesn't feel like it's worth the wait because you men don't want to wait anymore. She wants to be considered. She wants to be chosen. She thinks that's the only way it's going to happen and I'm saying it doesn't. Because there are good men that will not do what she thinks needs to be done if she doesn't wait. It's up to her to decide what she considers a good man for her. Because when she lose her virginity that's it. There is no do overs.

[btbc92]

I stated before. Once you have sex you creating soul ties with that other person. You are now one and you are married to that person because that's what consummating a marriage means. Having sex. So it won't matter if you do what you legally or illegally. Once that penis goes into the vagina that considered marriage. That's why you don't open up your legs or poking place did you don't belong. Because once you choose that one person, you have to be with them for the rest of your days until death. If not, its adultery. Period. You people decide if you want to be in sexual sin. I know for a fact I don't.

[TonyMetal___86]

@btbc92 and that's what i'm saying all the time, don't know where's the problem? Are you reading what i'm saying?

[btbc92]

@TonyMetal___86 I'm actually speaking to the other guy who seems to like taking advantage of women and girls who aren't virgins and seems to abhor women like me.

[BestOpinions2020]

I don't y u assume that some times I'm even to nice

[btbc92]

@BestOpinions2020 I don't have to assume. Either you are for the things of God or your not. Choose who you serve, because you cannot serve yourself.

[BestOpinions2020]

I'm just bad at explaining things and sorry I didn't read all what u put its hard for me to focus have a nice day 🙂

[BestOpinions2020]

and sorry I told u to shut up that was rude of me to say

[Newhead]

Only engage in appropriate behavior with him, do not go to private locations with him and do not invite him over. Let him take you out and court you, in the day time and if it is the night time, call your own Uber home. No kissing, maybe just a hug, no sexual conversations and you'll see what type of person he is. If he rushes you into fucking then you call it quits, do not budge or you'll regret it later.

[markml]

Well... I was kind of in your shoes...

Virgin guy who wanted to wait, meets girl who never imagined being with a guy who wanted to wait. And at first she said she was okay with it, but resentment grew out of it, because she expected I would quickly break down and have sex with her. And that led to insecurities. And eventually, she completely broke my heart.

So, based on personal experience, I would say it's risky.

Because even when the roles are reversed, the girl isn't any nicer or more patient with the guy.

I would be cautious.

Here is my advice. Set clear boundaries. Be very concrete about where your limits currently are. Be very communicative about what levels of intimacy you're "completely comfortable with" and where he "needs to apply the breaks". The biggest risk is that there's a misunderstanding and in the heat of the moment, he ends up doing something that could be considered rape.

This would be a situation where you had sex with him before you ever felt ready to have sex with him, because while you didn't agree to sex, you were going along with other things and that made him think you had changed your mind. And before you could stop him, it's too late. This situation is more common than you might imagine, because everything can happen so fast once clothes start coming off. You would feel terrible, and if he had a conscience, he should feel terrible too when realizing what happened.

The flipside of that is that if he is really unsure about what lines he cannot cross, you may have the reverse problem where the intimacy becomes stunted because he's too afraid to do anything.

So, I think, the most important thing right now is you need to remove as much ambiguity as possible. You need to know what you want, and tell him what you want.

Guys really like it when a girl is very clear about what they want, and removes the guesswork. And while I'm more in your camp than his, I would imagine that alone would partially make up for having to wait for sex.

If he is a quality gentleman, he will 100% respect the boundaries you give him.

The emotional stuff is far harder to predict. It is true that he could walk away, and it could be for any reason. Not just sex. However, I would suspect that the risk of him walking away because you didn't give him sex might be less than the risk of him walking away because you did give him sex.

Guys tend to have a bit more respect for girls who want to wait, and don't just throw themselves at the guy. Because look at it like this. If you throw yourself at one guy, then you're liable to throw yourself at another guy. And that's what is going through the guy's mind when he's considering whether he should emotionally invest himself in a relationship.

And also, just in case it needs to be stated -- sex doesn't mean a guy has feelings for you. The part of a guy's brain that wants sex is pretty detached from the part that "falls in love" (if that ever happens, and for some guys, I think it is rare).

[MrOracle]

It could go either way. I think you need to give him a rough estimate (and make it clear that you aren't setting a specific date, just a rough idea). So, for example, he knows if you're thinking a month, 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, etc. Because he might be okay waiting 2 months, but 6 months may seem completely unreasonable to him, so that would let you know if it's worth investing in him or not (and vice versa).

Having said that, you DO need to realize that guys who are very attractive and very popular with the ladies tend NOT to be faithful, and just because they get into a relationship, it doesn't mean that the ladies stop throwing themselves at him, and some of them will be VERY attractive and VERY open to anything, even if they know he's "taken." Set your expectations accordingly.

[Kev600]

Whatever his attitude is about the expectation of when sex should occur doesn't matter.

What should be critically important, is how you feel and what your own boundaries are.

Yes. If you're not ready then he's gonna have to wait.. Or move on.
Don't ever diminish your self respect to win approval or acceptance from a guy!

[nachosaresexy]

Some guys won't want to wait that long but there are definitely some who will. Just be open about it (when the timing feels right) and let him know what you ARE comfortable doing sexually. Does that make sense?

[Novacane]

If you are special enough guys are willing to wait, especially if they see something in you that other girls don’t have. It might be tempting since they are use to it and now it came to complete stop, but if he really wanted to then it’s possible.

[summiter]

Wait for the right time and make sure it is the right guy. Do you fool around with him at all like give him handjobs? Guys love them and he might be willing to wait a bit longer?

[AnnaTumbles]

Maybe ;)

[LegendaryIcon]

Chances are, no. Just depends on what he wants at that point in his life. Just like women

[Alyssa11]

I thought it was a possibility but I’ve realised that it takes a lot for someone to break a habit. So could be yes, could be no. Possibly. Possibly not.

[Cozybcuz]

Yeah, I mean he might just go with the flow and that is fine. Sometimes it goes faster sometimes slower he's just used to the faster pase. I say it's worth a try if you think he is worth being with

[JPrez]

You are right to be cautious especially is he has a reputation with other girls. Also, some guys will say that stuff and then pull out the “do it with me because I love you” line later on. There is really no way no way to know his true intentions. You can probably base your opinion after being around him awhile and see his character and behavior before deciding.

[applepieisto]

Girl, do you. If he leaves then he doesn't love or care for you enough. Don't give yourself up for a man, beside that person wouldn't be a man.

[sheikalana]

Of course he can wait.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

See you can give him a chance right?
If he is able to wait then both of you will be happy if not you can let him go within a month you will know it if he is faking it

[Iron_Man]

Yes he can

[DiegoO]

You being a virgin will never be an issue. The lifestyle he had before, neither. What could turn out to be an issue (a fucked up one) are two things:

*A contradiction between what you say and the way you respond to your boyfriend, in relation to how you really feel about beggining your sexual life, with him.

*If impatience starts to build up in him, and if he suddenly start to doubt about the relationship.

[Egirl28]

We sext some is that leading him on?

[DiegoO]

Only him could tell you.

[naraku]

Yes, if he really cares about you then for sure it's possible.

[Gedaria]

Yes it's possible..

[jhnny1331]

I've had sex on the first date I've turned down sex with numerous women I never make the first move and yet my wife and I waited till we were married and we dated for two and a half years she passed away a year ago we were together total of 20 years so you know what sex isn't the most important thing it's important for not the most important

[Twalli]

Trust he's willing to wait if you like him. He hasn't given you any reason to doubt that.

[Egirl28]

He wants to meet at a hotel soon that means sex right?

[Twalli]

Probably, but it could be a vacation date adjusted for COVID-19

[bamesjond0069]

No he can wait. Thats how i am. Most girls just do it right away and thats why they can't hold my interest. I waited 10 months for one girl. It made it very special.

[Egirl28]

Can I ask how you made it special?

[bamesjond0069]

Well if a girl waits it means not every other man was capable of getting her there. So its special. If she does it right away it means many men could have got it and then its not special.