I’m in love with my friends with benefits and he has left and I can’t stop crying?

[Anonymous]

I know this sounds so emotional but i suffer with BPD which makes things a lot worse. We were fully dating in August to October and then he turned around and said that me and him are just a bit of fun but maybe in the long run he can see something. He said that he likes me and wanted to be with me but he just lied to sleep with me. I thought i was stable enough to deal with friends with benefits and make it work but i couldn’t.

My feelings have been getting much stronger towards him after it’s been 7 months down the line. i saw him 3 days ago and we had sex, i was abit drunk as i just started University and he just left me because i wasn’t co operating as much as usually since i was a bit tipsy. i said to him when he left i feel so much towards you so i can’t see you anymore. and he said Okay and just left and now has deleted me and i keep having panic attacks in my sleep thinking of him, i’m so alone.

I still have him on instagram and i messaged him a paragraph saying i’m sorry for saying that i didn’t mean it i just wanted you to fight from me and show me reassurance that you like me since you left and he’s just ignored me. I got so drunk and called him like 10 times.
I don’t know what to do shall i give him space or say sorry again? i understahd why he deleted me since i said i can't see him but i didn’t mean it. I need help and i’m so lonely i’m distancing myself from everuone. I’m only 18 and so is he. I didn’t tjink id get attatched. I wanna message him asking if he wants me to leave him alone forever but i won’t be able to bare if he actually does leave me.

I’ve suffered with Abandonment issues since a young child due to my dad and it’s not nice. I know i sound crazy but i just like hard and i only call a lot when i’m drunk...

[PrudentGuy]

Young lady, i read your Details and i felt sorry that things had to end this way.

I hope you can read what i write carefully because i think you're hurting by more than just a broken heart.

Yes,
1) a broken heart.
This is common among us because modern relationships don't last. Ajd when there is a break up, someone will get hurt.

To do: get busy with secular work, find a new relationship, exercise (aerobic preferred, run), learn a life skill like cooking, vehicle repair, swimming.

2) you're not letting go.
Sorry but i have to be hard here: it's over.

And holding on only slow down your healing.

So despite you hope for his return, delete his contacts (not just block because you can unblock). Everything.

Then stop talking about hkm anymore.

3) you suffers from the symptom called Cognitive Dissonance.

In layman term, whenever there is a little hope, like he rwad your Snap, like your FB, you start the avalanch of thoughts thinking that he's interested.

No. Its over. That's the fact of friends with benefits. Eventually it WILL be over. So let it go.

To conclude:
You're hurting because you choose to "dwell in the desert" and go round and round in it. And the attention you (assume) people give you is pity, and you indulge in it.

Stop.

No one else is hurting and not many read your Details to completion.

I write because i met people so severely hurt before and i think i can offer a little suggestion. Hope you follow and find another beautiful day, without him.

[havingfun101]

We get what we deserve.

[Asker]

But i did nothing wrong to him, i just wanted more from him...

[havingfun101]

One does not simply sleep with a friend. Learn your lesson.

[justafoolisall]

This is so sad, BPD is such a horrible thing to deal with. In no way am I saying what you feel is invalid as abandonment issues at a young age is no joke, neither is BPD.

If this guy was serious he wouldn’t have been serious with you in the beginning and then switched to say you were “fun”.

You can do WAY better. I hope you are doing okay, I’m more than willing to talk to you

[benzocrash]

You sound like a clingy creep.

[RyanK9b]

Talk with your friends about it or mother.
Keep social contact.

Your "friend" might be mad about you or found a way u opened to leave you.
Give him time or and find someone else, its sounds cruel but this works.