#Poll Which do others shame you more for?

Question

Also, do you self-shame for any of the above? I think sexually, everyones shamed for something whether by others or by themselves. Even if not often, I’m sure we’ve all had at least one experience in which we were shamed sexually. Whenever I have sex, I think im shamed for never wanting to stop. This could be by the guy or by myself. But i view it as a bad sex addiction like i once had a softporn addiction. So yea after sex, I often force myself to return to celibacy since im not yet married because I think i would literally kill his dick if i didn't stop and i’d prob cause myself not to be able to walk for a good while. I’m shamed by others for being a bit of an exhibitionist and enjoying sexual things in public places. And then I’m also shamed for not wanting a lot of sexual partners in life. A lot of people feel the more partners, the more experience. But I dont see it that way. You can experience/learn a lot with just one person. 
 #FeelFreeToList #ALowDownDirtyShame

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

My ex shamed me for a lot of things.
He accused me of being promiscuous when I had only had sex with men I wanted to have sex with. When we met I had only had 3 sexual encounters. And he decided being good in bed meant I was experienced!
I don't think I ever want to settle, deep down because I watched relationships and people always try to control others.
I'm a free spirit. I'm not a slag, I'm an adult making decisions based upon what I want to do.
I'm consenting and so is he.
I'm intuitive and I really enjoy sex. But whatever I possess isn't respected.
I have dealt with his insecurity avd his disrespect simply because he thinks he's better than me.
Making a choice to do with my body as I wish made him think that I don't deserve to be treated with respect.
I will admit some encounters were rushed but after he and I split. I didn't want to be alone. Guys approached me and friends encouraged me to go for it.
They weren't bad people I see now that we weren't compatible. He was trying to control me instead of see and love me for who I am, warts n all.
This is morning new to me and that's why I'm bullied a lot.
My father suggested I was a lesbian I'm guessing because he could see I wasn't prepared to "fit the mould of a dateble heterosexual woman" - just watch programmes like married at first sight.
Women act up a lot and take their time to shape themselves for a man, men mostly fight when they see someone they deem out of their league.
There are some crazies but through stories come from a place of pain.
Watching my parents, where my father disrespected my mum just as another person and her staying because she wanted to create a normal environment I learned was toxic. What I got was piggy in the middle.
My mum vented all her stress because she felt powerless at me.
I don't want that for myself anymore.
I literally spend my life now on the outside looking in. It's safer for me.
It is lonely at times but I'm not going to keep being bullied or disrespected.
Take work for example people using flattery and whatever else just to coax me to do more than is expected or work with them their way. When in reality at the beginning they had no faults with my work.
They got annoyed because of their "I'm the only one, I'm the best ego"
Power is a dangerous thing in the wrong hands.
A lot of people abuse it just because they can.
I'm not as I am for being pure avd righteous I'm like this due to pain and learning. I know I act dumb and naive but it's mostly because I don't want to be proven right I'm looking for a glimmer of hope.
I talk a lot about my ex because I really loved him but my love isn't enough.
As I don't fit his "ideal woman" mould so it doesn't matter what I do I'd always be beneath his expectations and undeserving of his "goodness"
I will always be his trial run before the "Alicia keys" looking woman.
I'm sorry I'm ranting I'm just accepting the truth and it's been painful.
I don't want to be controlled or disrespected anymore so I've shut myself down for others in all honesty.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

For being a virgin at my ripe old age lol! I’ve had people tell me I need to get laid because I’m so uptight and stressed, but the biggest killer is what a guy I was interested in (and interested in me back) changed his mind when I told him I was a virgin because it was a dealbreaker for him. Like I really liked him and I was willing to do it? I don’t get it. 😅

Andres77 · Accepted Answer

I've been shamed by people that said they loved me for everything on the list above... but none of the shamers ever did anything to help me.
My wife is the only one that loved me through my sex addiction and other stupid shit in my head, loved me through therapy...
If you ever saw me on the street you'd be afraid of me... but you'd never imagine seeing me on my knees in the therapist's office crying my eyes out when I finally saw the hurt I'd caused others and the sacrifices my wife made for me...

I'm a nice guy... I was abused early and for a while at a very young age. I was empowered by my mom (but she never knew how bad it was) to stand up for myself with bullies. Fine.
Then I believed two wives that said they loved me and I was devastated to my core. That fucked up my head for years. You'd be grossed out by the nasty shit I did.

Shame or guilt... if it comes from people that say they love or care about you but they judge and reject you... they don't love or care.

Conviction... comes from people who have sacrificed and stood by your side through your dark times... and you realize the damage that you may have done or are doing and because you love them and you finally learned to love yourself with a healthy love, you want to stop.

Ignore the shamers.

On a side note... I was diagnosed (psychologist and therapist) with sex addiction. You wanting more after he's done is not addiction... that's what any healthy woman feels when a lazy ignorant lying fuck was never really concerned for her pleasure. I've been married for 17 years. My wife is unconscious from my "attending to her needs" this afternoon. The guy should only cum after the girl begs him to stop because she's cum so many times she can't stay awake. 20-30 orgasms is completely possible from a guy that ACTUALLY LLLLOOOOVVVEEESS his wife and finds and explores ways to please her. I found a new one today... after 17 years! I'm so proud of myself. She's so exhausted. Today was a good day. I pleased my wife and she's passed out in a safe house with her family.

You're not sex addicted.
You need to find a man that truly and honestly appreciates and desires you.

Everyone else can STFU about you and your life.

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

"I think i would literally kill his dick if i didn't stop" 🤣 🤣 🤣 OMG, tears of laughter are underrated. So! I have some fetishes that the Mrs don't like, some she can't handle and some that got us in trouble/caught/seen and pain (not the fun pain but painful pain) and that gives me guilt that i am mistreating the love of my life and sometimes i am too selfish. My defects are giving me some anxiety and depression but yet she stands by me and I feel am not doing enough beside sex.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I’ve never been shamed for anything sexual, or body-shaming! A have a pretty healthy self esteem, nothing conceited literally healthy! But I HAVE been going to therapy for 5 years, so I better be healthy! LOL. Now my friends will say something like “oh my good, you’re such a slut” but like they’ll say that if I say “wow! He’s got a nice ass!”. So it’s not really shaming! It’s just a thing people say!

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

On here, I've been called a slut just for talking about sex, even though some having sex 😂
In my personal life, don't think I've been shamed for anything on your list, and even if someone tried to, I wouldn't really care...

GiventoFly01 · Answer

I like such random and odd things, that I typically get laughed at if I decide to mention them. They aren't bad or anything, just different and not very interesting to women apparently.

Hangry22 · Answer

E and F. Not having had sex and not having enough experience. It's the girls who shame actually

Vencam · Answer

I do shame myself quite a lot for not having enough experience and not being able to have sex as often as I wish (late first time included), but funnily enough I've never been shamed by others for it. Quite the opposite... Somehow, because of my looks, people usually assume I have a perfect and powerful sexlife so I usually end up being the target of envy when those kind of talks come out, despite not being public AT ALL about my sex life. In the end, those comments (received from quite a young age) ended up making me compare myself to idiotically high sexual standards thus my still continuing shame over sexual performance and related arguments.

GalwaysLittleBird · Answer

I have a pee fetish that wasn't very welcomed in the past so I keep it to myself now :/

Jjpayne · Answer

I think I really can't shame anyone as we are all on our own sexual journeys. But I will say this, a guy not committing to doing his part with a child involved is shameful. You need to be there to support

ShortCircuit · Answer

I haven't really experienced much shaming for any of these things. I am a virgin and haven't really been in a relationship, so obviously I haven't experienced shaming for A, B, or D. And I don't really talk about my kinks or my views on sex and marriage with people I know, so C and G aren't applicable either.

So the only possible ones are E/F, and even then I haven't explicitly been "shamed" for being a virgin. People just sometimes ask me why I don't have a girlfriend, which is kind of rude in my opinion, and it's obvious that they think it's weird even if they don't say so--but it's still not exactly "shaming". And usually this is coming from people who are rather promiscuous themselves, so they aren't exactly "normal" either, just the opposite extreme. So I don't really take their opinions that seriously.

As for self-shaming? None of that either, really. I mean, I do want a relationship, and with a certain sense of urgency given my age, but I don't really "shame" myself for not having it. There are a lot of roadblocks in my way and some of them aren't really within my control.

Ninani · Answer

My number of partners and some of my fetishes.

Ellie-V · Answer

Weirdly enough I get shamed for being ultra sexual and picky about gifting my sex at the same time 😂 just because I’m a freak that could make you orgasm 10 times over doesn’t mean I’m handing this prize out Willy nilly 🥴 men get weird when they feel rejected like everything is supposed to go their way sexually

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

For having sex with too many people.  Guys come to my dms trying to get me to send pictures but when I say that I'm not interested they call me a filthy whore 😂

Avicenna · Answer

I don't share my body count, but that's what I get "shamed" for. I'm not ashamed of it, but I do think that some women might get an inaccurate perception of me because of it.

Agape93 · Answer

To many. Gotta love slut shaming :/  And no guys I’m not interesting in talking, adding you on here or anything else. Don’t bother.

lanadelrey25 · Answer

Voted G, people are rude af on here when I share that I'm saving myself.

Shiver · Answer

It's a toss up between the first 3. I started really young, I've been having sex with basically any girl that met my standards and my girlfriend is a cuck. I'm pretty damn open about all three as well, so I did see it coming. Lol