How do I control my urge and emotions as a virgin and seeing romantic sex scenes?

Question

I really adore and admire romance movies and shows but when I remember that I've never had sex and that passionate, intimate experience i feel instantly sad and lonely and crave that kind of sex and special person and quarantine also isn't helping and masturbation is getting boring for me because its nothing like a real guy 😞

Answer 1

Tstrbrainer | 2.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Well, first of all, as you might already know, real sex may not always be perfect like that.

And I can understand your situation, if you feel so sad by watching it, then better avoid it, those scenes are primarily aimed for entertainment, if it's not entertaining you, you should switch to something else.
Sexual energy can be deviated to an extent through exercise and keeping yourself busy.

But I guess, in your case, it's the lack of emotional intimacy that's making you feel sad. Unfortunately I don't know how to deal with it, but you can spend more time on yourself, being creative or spend time with friends or family.
Or you can get a pet, if you like.
These will keep you engaged

Answer 2

pinudown | 82 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Ah I feel you. It sucks. But you know that you won't be alone forever.

If I was you I'd stay away from those movies for a while, and take my time and think of the situation unbiasdly.

When you watch those sex scenes, try to learn something from it so you can use it for your future guy

Answer 3

btbc92 | 1.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Simple. Stop having yourself to be watching that things that you should not be watching. You're polluting not only your mind but any future desire to have sex in the future. What you're seeing is perverseness in the first place. How do I you going to control yourself when you're already exposing yourself to things that you should not be exposing to? That's like saying how in the world can a virgin not be tempted to do something and you're watching pornography let alone masturbating? Simple. Don't do it. It's torture enough being in this body.

btbc92

1 mo
What you're seeing is just lust. Don't let that fool you before you become greatly disappointed. Men use and abuse you just as women use an abused men. If you going to be watching that stuff. Look at what it takes this for them to get that, not be something you really want something like that would you prefer to share a life with a person you're going to get married too, have a family, and I can build a life with. Sexual intimacy is private. It should not be exposed. That's why if you want to share that kind of life and bond with a person, you get married, constipated, and be happy who you're with. Because you like what you see on those television shows you going to screw up your life.

Answer 4

btbc92

What you're seeing is just lust. Don't let that fool you before you become greatly disappointed. Men use and abuse you just as women use an abused men. If you going to be watching that stuff. Look at what it takes this for them to get that, not be something you really want something like that would you prefer to share a life with a person you're going to get married too, have a family, and I can build a life with. Sexual intimacy is private. It should not be exposed. That's why if you want to share that kind of life and bond with a person, you get married, constipated, and be happy who you're with. Because you like what you see on those television shows you going to screw up your life.

Answer 5

Alyssa11 | 362 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Explorer

Lol I feel you but maybe try and shift your focus into other things because focussing on what you don’t have isn’t going to do you any good, it’s only going to make that feeling worse. Also, it’s good to use these moments/events as an opportunity to tap into that emotional level — as in think to yourself that you will experience that/you’re on your way to experience it (I know it’s so hard), and that way it’s easier to manifest into your life.

Answer 6

PBandJ_Nerd | 470 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

You could either stop watching them or you could go to romantic movies that don't have sex scenes. I don't know if reading literature would be better or not. But I've never had a relationship either or anything like that so I do get how you feel. I usually want affection most of the time. Until I realize no ones there and I get upset.

Answer 7

DizzyDesii | 6.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I controlled my urges by distancing myself. Its easy to say no to sex long as you're not in anyones lap. But you should maybe try phone sex. It’ll keep you calm for a bit since someone elses voice can guide you on things to do

bklynbadboy1

1 mo
So true
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@DizzyDesii I thought you were just saying that phone sex was bad.
DizzyDesii

1 mo
@Jamie05rhs its bad when you’re addicted to doing it with just anyone. Last year i only did it with whoever i was dating. 2016 i was doing it with just anyone i was attracted to
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DizzyDesii

1 mo
Plus last year i wasn't doing it daily and skipping sleep/meals for it like in 2016
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Hmm. Fine line, though...
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Okay
DizzyDesii

1 mo
@Jamie05rhs its really not the same. Its like if you exercise 6 days and have a cheat day 1 day instead of eating junk food all 7 days.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
That is also a fine line.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
And a slippery slope.
DizzyDesii

1 mo
@Jamie05rhs well either way this girl should try something that ain't physically fckin a bunch of men
Paolaa988

1 mo
@DizzyDesii i dont plan on having sex anytime soon unless somehow the right guy comes along but im not really out and about meeting people so i believe the chance is slim and im not really into online dating apps unless it becomes something genuine and true in real life soon after but I dont want my first time and having sex to be with a guy that dont care about me or doesn't want me for my body. I crave it in a passionate, meaningful, beautiful sense is what i am feeling.
DizzyDesii

1 mo
Yes be in love first. I have to date someone at least 6 months and be nearing engagement to give up the puss. Masturbation play with eachother is nothing. But actual sex is something i can't give into so easily. I have to be in love

Answer 8

bklynbadboy1

So true

Answer 9

Jamie05rhs

@DizzyDesii I thought you were just saying that phone sex was bad.

Answer 10

DizzyDesii

@Jamie05rhs its bad when you’re addicted to doing it with just anyone. Last year i only did it with whoever i was dating. 2016 i was doing it with just anyone i was attracted to

Answer 11

DizzyDesii

Plus last year i wasn't doing it daily and skipping sleep/meals for it like in 2016

Answer 12

Jamie05rhs

Hmm. Fine line, though...

Answer 13

Jamie05rhs

Okay

Answer 14

DizzyDesii

@Jamie05rhs its really not the same. Its like if you exercise 6 days and have a cheat day 1 day instead of eating junk food all 7 days.

Answer 15

Jamie05rhs

That is also a fine line.

Answer 16

Jamie05rhs

And a slippery slope.

Answer 17

DizzyDesii

@Jamie05rhs well either way this girl should try something that ain't physically fckin a bunch of men

Answer 18

Paolaa988

@DizzyDesii i dont plan on having sex anytime soon unless somehow the right guy comes along but im not really out and about meeting people so i believe the chance is slim and im not really into online dating apps unless it becomes something genuine and true in real life soon after but I dont want my first time and having sex to be with a guy that dont care about me or doesn't want me for my body. I crave it in a passionate, meaningful, beautiful sense is what i am feeling.

Answer 19

DizzyDesii

Yes be in love first. I have to date someone at least 6 months and be nearing engagement to give up the puss. Masturbation play with eachother is nothing. But actual sex is something i can't give into so easily. I have to be in love

Answer 20

PrudentGuy | 3.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

These are some things i did when i was a virgin / celibate after losing it: (not in order)

1) don't read/watch sex scenes and romances.

2) exercise. I ran. Yes, literally RUN.

3) start a business. Learn to trade the stock market.

4) search for my SO (eventually lose it)

5) avoid food that excites.

6) minimize masturbation (it only increases the desire)

It worked and helped until i had my First. Hope it works for you.

Answer 21

Apope16 | 2.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I would say this. First... i have been there. I didn't lose mine until age 27. Its okay. Guys are turned on by virginity because you have been plowed through by 50 guys.

Second. Enjoy masturbation. Understand that each time you orgasm by yourself you are understanding what feels good to you. This means when you do start having sex you will be better prepared. Okay?

Answer 22

TonyMetal___86 | 477 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

One day you will get married and make sex with your man as much as you want 😊
Better be with your real man then being used and dumped by a douchebag who will break your heart...

Now i'm lonely too and i do wish if i'm married especially in some rainy stromy nights 😊

I'm a man who never have sex outside marriage...

TonyMetal___86

1 mo
Which means your not the only one 😉

Answer 23

TonyMetal___86

Which means your not the only one 😉

Answer 24

Jamie05rhs | 3.8K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I can relate. Sometimes I feel like masturbating when I see things like that as well.

My best advice to you is just to avoid those types of shows.

Paolaa988

1 mo
Thank you so much. It's just an emotional thing and loneliness being a factor but i wanna share it with someone whom i have a connection with of course not just anyone. And by the way, im sorry for how i approached you last time. I felt bad i misunderstood you if you remember.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
You're welcome.

It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I was probably being too stubborn and hotheaded to realize where I made a mistake.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
But by the way, those feelings would never cause me to actually have sex. That is a line that I just do not cross.

Answer 25

Paolaa988

Thank you so much. It's just an emotional thing and loneliness being a factor but i wanna share it with someone whom i have a connection with of course not just anyone. And by the way, im sorry for how i approached you last time. I felt bad i misunderstood you if you remember.

Answer 26

Jamie05rhs

You're welcome.

It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I was probably being too stubborn and hotheaded to realize where I made a mistake.

Answer 27

Jamie05rhs

But by the way, those feelings would never cause me to actually have sex. That is a line that I just do not cross.

Answer 28

iseekpinetrees | 1.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Lol just know most of the time sex n romance is nothing like those scenes. Sex doesn't last long if your actually in passionate mood. It happens very fast and quick and things go from 0 to 20 to 2 very quick

Answer 29

kkirk4442 | 715 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

Don't watch so many romantic sex scenes, and you can choose what your mind focuses on.

Answer 30

Wade8888 | 133 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

I can help with that problem. PM me, sweetie. I'll break you in very lovingly!

Answer 31

chHaynes | 560 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

I say it's time to get yourself some sex toys that should give you some practice sometimes yourself is what you need to get a little familiar with something that you'll probably be able to get later on

Answer 32

Andres77 | 1.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Explorer

When you realize that the scenes are fake and some of the actors don't even like each other.

Andres77

1 mo
Use different masturbation techniques.
Different sizes and shapes and textures of dildos and vibrators, change it up a bit.
Don't give it up before your ready, there's no going back and you don't want to regret your first time.

Answer 33

Andres77

Use different masturbation techniques.
Different sizes and shapes and textures of dildos and vibrators, change it up a bit.
Don't give it up before your ready, there's no going back and you don't want to regret your first time.

Answer 34

Valnac | 13K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Try getting a feather and pretend it’s being used on you by me.
close your eyes and let it get hotter, and when you can’t stand it anymore. Insert two fingers inside you and buck you hips up.

Answer 35

Gwenhwyfar | 2.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Just enjoy the feeling and know in your heart that someday you’ll have someone special like that

Answer 36

bklynbadboy1 | 5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I think no matter what you do you'll still have those urges your a human being you're also young with raging hormones. Hang in there you'll find that special someone then your be begging him to stop 😂

Answer 37

na2398 | 95 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

I can relate a bit. I'm a virgin too. Feel like waiting for the right girl to lose my virginity. It is emotionally draining. Maybe we can share our experiences and see if we can help each other. Is it fine?

Answer 38

Angelo75 | 522 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

I would advice you to stop seeing them.
They'll give you wrong expectations making it so disappointing when you deal with reality.

Answer 39

Knightoffire

Xper 5

Well you don't really have many options beside actually letting yourself go with a lot of love thinking at something both romanti and passionate.

Answer 40

MissDawn7961 | 972 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

simple ! stop watching romantic sex scenes ! thanks

Answer 41

COMMODOREII | 14.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Just go with them. Nothing wrong in wanting intimacy. One day you will find the right guy.

Answer 42

Worldstream

Xper 2

Stop watching anything romantic
Find something else you like doing for example exercises

Answer 43

Ilickvulvas | 137 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

Even those of us That aren’t virgins know how you feel

Answer 44

Anonymous

You have more of an emotional and romantic urge or sexual urge?

Paolaa988

1 mo
It's emotional but I'm craving that sexual feeling but i want it to be meaningful if that makes sense. I dont want some casual hookup.
Opinion Owner

1 mo
I thought girls don't crave and desire sex...
Paolaa988

1 mo
Some of us still do. I mean I really want a healthy sex life as long as he will love and treat me right then hell yeah! Physical touch is my love language as well and I think closeness is important and sweet in a relationship.
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

1 mo
Oh some of you do. Okay. Most don't I guess

Answer 45

Paolaa988

It's emotional but I'm craving that sexual feeling but i want it to be meaningful if that makes sense. I dont want some casual hookup.

Answer 46

Opinion Owner

I thought girls don't crave and desire sex...

Answer 47

Paolaa988

Some of us still do. I mean I really want a healthy sex life as long as he will love and treat me right then hell yeah! Physical touch is my love language as well and I think closeness is important and sweet in a relationship.

Answer 48

Opinion Owner

Oh some of you do. Okay. Most don't I guess

Answer 49

macnom

Xper 3

Lol experiment or get a guy friend ;)

Answer 50

SUMAIREBRAHIM | 279 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

Do you wanna stay virgin?

Answer 51

chriscdi | 7.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I don't know what to tell you

Answer 52

IAMNativeson87 | 179 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 3

Stop watching romantic scenes...

Answer 53

jjj101010 | 1.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Buy a sex toy if ur fingers aren’t cutting it

Answer 54

rebeliouse | 277 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

sexting could keep you busy :D

Answer 55

mrblackness

Xper 1

just rub it out after

How do I control my urge and emotions as a virgin and seeing romantic sex scenes?

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